I love eavesdropping on conversations...although eavesdropping is not the exact word I am looking for. I like hearing snippets of conversation in the background of whatever I am doing:)
Yesterday, I was walking around the apartment complex, getting my 10000 steps in. This beige car (Toyota Corolla, functional, simple) pulled up to the curb of one of the buildings. Out from the driver's side stepped a man dressed in a dress shirt and khakis. Walking down the sidewalk toward the car was a woman (about the man's age-- mid 50s?) who was all dressed up in a black dress. He opened the trunk and she put an overnight bag in (my guess is they were on their way to an overnight/weekend trip to AC).
He asked her, "How are you doing?"
She replied, "Great. How are you?"
And then he said.... "I'm great now that you're here."
Aww:) It makes me smile to hear those things in real life.
Although I do have to say... the cynic in me... if a guy said that to me, I'd have to really force myself not to giggle or accidentally roll my eyes.
Overall though...that type of cheesiness would probably make me beam:)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Slowly but surely....
We will be moved out of this apartment.
We closed on the house today. Our lawyer was a literal mess. His entire office was full of various piles of file folders, bound together by huge binder clips. I do the same thing to organize class sets of essays when they are handed in... but... I am a teacher...not a legal representative.
His swivel chair was also missing a back and one of the arms. When he left the room to xerox something, John took a photo with his cell phone. I broke into laughter. When the lawyer returned back into the room, it took all the self-control I could gather to not start laughing boisterously.
We haven't started too much packing. There's so much stuff...it's overwhelming.
But we're making progress.
Today, I faced the fact that even though they're my "favorite jeans," if they have holes not only at the knee but on both the ass and crotch, plus on both lower ankles, then maybe they can be thrown out. Little steps...little steps... hopefully we'll be out of here by the end of the lease....
We closed on the house today. Our lawyer was a literal mess. His entire office was full of various piles of file folders, bound together by huge binder clips. I do the same thing to organize class sets of essays when they are handed in... but... I am a teacher...not a legal representative.
His swivel chair was also missing a back and one of the arms. When he left the room to xerox something, John took a photo with his cell phone. I broke into laughter. When the lawyer returned back into the room, it took all the self-control I could gather to not start laughing boisterously.
We haven't started too much packing. There's so much stuff...it's overwhelming.
But we're making progress.
Today, I faced the fact that even though they're my "favorite jeans," if they have holes not only at the knee but on both the ass and crotch, plus on both lower ankles, then maybe they can be thrown out. Little steps...little steps... hopefully we'll be out of here by the end of the lease....
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Rollercoaster
I am back "on" with Weight Watchers. I was not ever officially "off" but whenever I don't psychotically track, I gain weight. So annoying. It's not like I've been having pizza, burgers, shakes, chips, etc. I treated myself to some beers last weekend. Otherwise, I ate fine... or so I thought...2 pounds up.
Argh.
John says if i build muscle and start using weights, things will balance out. How stubborn people can be... because I realize he is right but i HATE the weight room side of the gym...so here I continue on... keeping up with cardio but not having huge results.
I witnessed something odd at the food store today and thought to myself, "Ok, I NEVER want to be like THAT." This "large" lady was passing me by in the coffee/cookies/etc aisle. She stopped her cart in front of the biscotis on display and said aloud, "Oh I love those things." She definitely was not targeting her comment toward anyone in particular. Instead, she just seemed to have the name to utter this comment of food favoritism aloud. I thought it was kind of sad.
Another way I don't ever want to be is... post pregnancy...one of those women who just "lets herself go"...who assumes it's ok to walk around in elasticized jeans [eek] and huge tshirts/hoodies because... she is taking care of a child. Obviously when you have a child, it is a life-altering experience but I don't think that means you should let yourself be a lesser version of your previous self. What does that say to your child, in the long run?
Ok...onward and upward...but not on the scale:)
Argh.
John says if i build muscle and start using weights, things will balance out. How stubborn people can be... because I realize he is right but i HATE the weight room side of the gym...so here I continue on... keeping up with cardio but not having huge results.
I witnessed something odd at the food store today and thought to myself, "Ok, I NEVER want to be like THAT." This "large" lady was passing me by in the coffee/cookies/etc aisle. She stopped her cart in front of the biscotis on display and said aloud, "Oh I love those things." She definitely was not targeting her comment toward anyone in particular. Instead, she just seemed to have the name to utter this comment of food favoritism aloud. I thought it was kind of sad.
Another way I don't ever want to be is... post pregnancy...one of those women who just "lets herself go"...who assumes it's ok to walk around in elasticized jeans [eek] and huge tshirts/hoodies because... she is taking care of a child. Obviously when you have a child, it is a life-altering experience but I don't think that means you should let yourself be a lesser version of your previous self. What does that say to your child, in the long run?
Ok...onward and upward...but not on the scale:)
Monday, June 01, 2009
Fuck you. I love you.
There's nothing quite like unleashing a tirade of curses upon your husband and then, hours later, still being able to lie beside each other in bed, do your silly-voice-talk, and fall asleep together.
John had me work out with him yesterday. We used kettle bells and I got to a point where I was like, "Forget it. I'll run. I'll do anything other than this." So, of course he then had me do 50 kettle bell swings and a jog around the apartment complex. After time #1, I figured we were done. I could, at last, go inside, drink some cold water, and sit down and read. I'm reading this book called Don't You Forget About Me. It's nothing stellar but it makes slight mention of the 1980s and takes place in a "fictitious" area that closely resembles Morristown, Chatham, etc. The author even mentions the Nautilus, aka "Nauseous" Diner.
We ended up doing the 50 kettle bell swing and run around the apartment complex a 2nd time. John has this great ability of making me push myself. I still don't give it my all, but it's better than me just going upstairs. After the 2nd time around, I felt pretty dead. Face red. Body crashing down onto the grass.
Even though it was a tough workout and despite saying "Whatever" and "I can't" and even a few "Fuck yous," I felt good after the workout. Even today...the back of my legs kill but...it feels good.
This week is already feeling significantly better than last week. There's something to be said for that whole body/mind connection idea.
John had me work out with him yesterday. We used kettle bells and I got to a point where I was like, "Forget it. I'll run. I'll do anything other than this." So, of course he then had me do 50 kettle bell swings and a jog around the apartment complex. After time #1, I figured we were done. I could, at last, go inside, drink some cold water, and sit down and read. I'm reading this book called Don't You Forget About Me. It's nothing stellar but it makes slight mention of the 1980s and takes place in a "fictitious" area that closely resembles Morristown, Chatham, etc. The author even mentions the Nautilus, aka "Nauseous" Diner.
We ended up doing the 50 kettle bell swing and run around the apartment complex a 2nd time. John has this great ability of making me push myself. I still don't give it my all, but it's better than me just going upstairs. After the 2nd time around, I felt pretty dead. Face red. Body crashing down onto the grass.
Even though it was a tough workout and despite saying "Whatever" and "I can't" and even a few "Fuck yous," I felt good after the workout. Even today...the back of my legs kill but...it feels good.
This week is already feeling significantly better than last week. There's something to be said for that whole body/mind connection idea.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
karma
I shouldn't have made the "fat people" post... Despite eating healthy this week...the only exceptions being pigging out on food at John's parents late night on Friday [after being starved from a raw foods, 16 bite "feast"]...I gained 2.2 pounds. Karma.
Am so frustrated. John says if I add some strength training to my workout that it will help balance the weight loss and make it more consistent. I don't want to do strength training :( Other people at Weight Watchers "treat themselves" to weekly gorge fests on pizza, fries, etc. The last time I have had those foods... I can't even recall:( My metabolism, etc annoys me.
Also...lately...I find myself in a conflict with social networking sites. Part of me likes reading about friends and sharing thoughts, etc. Part of me thinks that these sites end up making me feel lonesome or sad. People seem to post [almost in a bragging manner] all these highlights of their lives. Additionally, it seems like we do more "commenting" back and forth than in "live," in-person time. Can make someone actually feel more out of touch with their "friends" than in touch. I sometimes think it'd be worthwhile to just get rid of myspace, facebook, etc.
Then... I worry what I would do with my time. Most likely it would be way more productive than [essentially] staring at a screen and taking silly "quizzes" like "What Beatles song are you?" and "What your birthdate says about you."
Am so frustrated. John says if I add some strength training to my workout that it will help balance the weight loss and make it more consistent. I don't want to do strength training :( Other people at Weight Watchers "treat themselves" to weekly gorge fests on pizza, fries, etc. The last time I have had those foods... I can't even recall:( My metabolism, etc annoys me.
Also...lately...I find myself in a conflict with social networking sites. Part of me likes reading about friends and sharing thoughts, etc. Part of me thinks that these sites end up making me feel lonesome or sad. People seem to post [almost in a bragging manner] all these highlights of their lives. Additionally, it seems like we do more "commenting" back and forth than in "live," in-person time. Can make someone actually feel more out of touch with their "friends" than in touch. I sometimes think it'd be worthwhile to just get rid of myspace, facebook, etc.
Then... I worry what I would do with my time. Most likely it would be way more productive than [essentially] staring at a screen and taking silly "quizzes" like "What Beatles song are you?" and "What your birthdate says about you."
Monday, May 18, 2009
from 18 Days Without You, by Anne Sexton
December 16th
Once upon a time
you grew up in a bedroom the size of a dime
and shared it with your sister. That was West End
Avenue in Manhattan. Longing for country you were penned
into city, peering across the Hudson at Palisades Park.
The boy in you played stickball until it was dark.
One upon a time
I was the only child forbidden to climb
over the garden wall. I didn't dare to speak
up over the Victorian houseful of rare antiques.
My dolls were all proper, waiting in neat rows.
My room was high ceilinged, lonely and full of echoes.
Once upon a time
you said, "Now that the cabin is ours,
I'm going to run the power in."
And we had a power party.
I made gingham curtains. We nailed up your Doctoral degree.
We turned the stove on twice. Oh my love, oh my louse,
we make our own electricity while we play house.
Once upon a time
you grew up in a bedroom the size of a dime
and shared it with your sister. That was West End
Avenue in Manhattan. Longing for country you were penned
into city, peering across the Hudson at Palisades Park.
The boy in you played stickball until it was dark.
One upon a time
I was the only child forbidden to climb
over the garden wall. I didn't dare to speak
up over the Victorian houseful of rare antiques.
My dolls were all proper, waiting in neat rows.
My room was high ceilinged, lonely and full of echoes.
Once upon a time
you said, "Now that the cabin is ours,
I'm going to run the power in."
And we had a power party.
I made gingham curtains. We nailed up your Doctoral degree.
We turned the stove on twice. Oh my love, oh my louse,
we make our own electricity while we play house.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Insensitive Bitch...or maybe just a realist
Losing weight has turned me into an aggressive bitch. Case in point: I was at Costco today, trying to navigate consumerism hell on earth. It wasn't even that it was crowded but simply that tons of fat, lazy people were slowly trudging through the store... stopping every five seconds to wait 1-2 minutes for a tiny food morsel sample. It was so annoying. In my head, I was thinking things like, "Move out my way, you fat fuck," "Could your pants be any tighter?," etc.
I NEVER thought this way before.
I guess losing weight has just made me annoyed with other people who, voluntarily, allow themselves to be unhealthy.... unattractive.... lazy...etc. All those traits go together. I wish that stores would stop selling huge sizes. Maybe then people would be motivated to try to take care of themselves--- public humiliation tends to do the trick in many scenarios.
I feel the best I have felt in a long time...probably ever. I can't imagine going back to what I was before...not that I was even anything too horrific. But, it's like once you improve yourself and see all the other positive changes that come along with that one initial improvement, theres no way you will go back to the way things were.
I really don't spend much of my own time thinking about other "fat" people...it's just something that was on my mind today...amidst the gluttons shopping @ Costco.
I NEVER thought this way before.
I guess losing weight has just made me annoyed with other people who, voluntarily, allow themselves to be unhealthy.... unattractive.... lazy...etc. All those traits go together. I wish that stores would stop selling huge sizes. Maybe then people would be motivated to try to take care of themselves--- public humiliation tends to do the trick in many scenarios.
I feel the best I have felt in a long time...probably ever. I can't imagine going back to what I was before...not that I was even anything too horrific. But, it's like once you improve yourself and see all the other positive changes that come along with that one initial improvement, theres no way you will go back to the way things were.
I really don't spend much of my own time thinking about other "fat" people...it's just something that was on my mind today...amidst the gluttons shopping @ Costco.
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