Vampire house

When you're amidst the house-buying process, there's things that you overlook. When we got this house, we considered its location to be a decent plot of land with adequate space. In northern NJ, "adequate space" is the norm. If you have more than adequate space, your income is probably very impressive.

We moved in during the summer. As the summer months passed, we jubilated at how "cool" the house would be, even on the hottest summer days. We'd still have to put on the air conditioning, but it just seemed like the house stayed cool pretty well.

Fast forward to winter. I live in a vampire house. Shards of sunlight never really creep into the house. There's not one particular room that is very bright during the daytime. When the snow on other houses' roofs had melted, our roof snow piles were persisting. Needless to say, the "coolness" of summer that we enjoyed has persisted into the winter months in our home.

Filling the oil tank is crazy-expensive, so we keep the temperature down in the house. I don't recall what 60 degrees feels like. John makes jokes about us living on the ice plant of Hath, a Star Wars reference. I drink copious amounts of tea to trick my body into feeling like the house is warmer than it is. We wear tons of layers of clothing and snuggle tightly in bed.

Owning a house is totally not what I thought it would be. And I guess the realtors revel in people like John and me. If everyone had an immediate sense of "reality in a home," no houses would ever sell.

With the recent talk of crazy oil and gas prices, government's desire to gradually get rid of unions, and so on... I just feel like the American dream is a sham.

V-day

I do think that Valentine's Day is a bit silly. Don't get me wrong---if John showed up at work and gave me flowers or if I woke up and there was a fancy breakfast all arranged (i.e. NOT our usual Egg Beaters or oatmeal), I'd have a wide smile across my face. But all these commercials : "Get her what she really wants this Valentine's Day," and blah, blah, blah,...I just think they're silly.

I wouldn't say that I am jaded...definitely not. I just don't think the roses, chocolate, overabundance of red, is all that necessary.

In earlier years, when John and I were first dating, Valentine's Day had a little more "kick" to it. We never did the typical thing anyway though.

Our "tradition" is going out to dinner...but going out for Indian buffet. There's so many Indian restaurants in Morris County that they never get crowded, even on Valentine's Day night. So...gluttony...with heavily creamed foods...if that's not romantic, then I don't know what is :-)

Possibilities

I didn't want to be this person, but I find myself spending a LOT of time online. If you asked me to take note of my activities, they could be summed up easily: small amounts of emailing, playing Bookworm, checking PostSecret updates on Sunday mornings, checking work emails, and going onto Facebook. The crazy winter weather of this year has "motivated" me to spend pathetic amounts of time on Farmville. For the most part though, I just log in and out constantly, checking others' updates.

I've checked up on people from high school. Even if the profile is private, the photo tells so much. Picture of a belly that is burgeoning... a "little bundle of joy" on the way. Photo of more than just a man and woman: family already created and "in process." And so on.

I've contemplated deactivating my account for awhile but....uh....no.

The online world is an amazing world of possibilities and ...chances to unmotivate yourself. If you're an aspiring anything, you can find a site that caters to your passion, create a profile, and put yourself out there. I could easily go to a poetry site, put my work out there, and feel like I was engaging with other people. Instead, I just look at others' profiles and just kind of downplay any skills that I have.

I guess it comes back to the "half empty/ half full" debate. Unsurprisingly, I am on the half-empty end of the spectrum. And yes, I hide behind the reasoning of "I'm a realist." I'd like to move over to the half-full time soon... not expecting a huge, mega shift...a gradual one would be welcome though.

Building a Fire in the Snow

In the words of my sister, some people are simply "wackjobs."

Just got a call from my friend. Fiery red hair, pale blue eyes, thin and lanky body--- someone whose presence does command your attention.

She left a voicemail on my phone: "I'm going to go outside and make a fire in the snow. I thought it would be kind of neat. Do you and John want to come over?"

Instantly, I was reminded of the Jack London short story, "To Build a Fire." I recall a middle school teacher using that story to illustrate short story elements. The man in the story struggled with building a fire and keeping it alive. Every time it seemed like survival was existent, the damn fire would go out.

I forget how it ended. Since it was written by Jack London and is a story that is "heavy" with elements of nature, I am guessing that it didn't end with a storybook ending. The protagonist probably just froze to death in the snow.

Anyway, why anyone who is NOT stranded in the wilderness would want to go outside and build a fire, "just for fun," is beyond me.

Lesson plans seemed like a horrible way to end this weekend. In comparison to sitting outside in 26 degree weather and challenging myself with creating a fire...well....I'll take the lesson plans, thank you very much.

Lofty goals

I am ADEPT at coming up with ideas and doing the preparation. Execution, however, is not my forte.

Case in point: in the summer, I had this "great" idea to use beer bottle caps to make tacky wreaths and photo frames. The tackiness level could be brought to the next degree with, specifically, green Heineken and red Budweiser caps; using those bottle caps could create the ultimate festive wreath.

Through Freecycle, I had one main bottle cap "connection"--yes, networking for bottle caps--hilarious. She knew someone who worked at Applebee's and that person got the bartenders on staff to save tons of bottle caps for me. I just picked them up today and filled a giant shoe box and small shopping bag with the bottle caps. I have no idea how many I have, but I have the urge to count all of them, just out of curiosity.

I bought the crafting supplies: copious amounts of glue sticks, plain wooden frames, ornament balls, mini-wreaths, etc.

It's almost like the planning is more exciting than the actual execution....

Mindless lists

I hate giving in to "top" lists and such, but I saw this list on someone else's blog and thought it was semi-interesting...interesting enough to consume 5 minutes or so and re-post it to my blog....

Got this from http://littleturkishgirl.blogspot.com/

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

Instructions: Copy this. Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (it was either this book or Jane Eyre- I read 90 pages in "one shot" and then stopped...)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (see note for #1...I detested these types of books in high school...might appreciate them more now)4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (got 100 or so pages into the first book and wasn't interested...all I recall is a passage about jelly beans)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (read it!)
6 The Bible - Too Many Cooks
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (read it back in 9th grade- recall being so bored with it that I actually fell asleep while reading it one night; would like to re-visit it sometime soon though)
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (complete? Geez...the list is really from the BBC, I guess... Have read Tempest, Titus Andronicus, Taming of the Shrew, Romeo and Juliet, and some others...but not "complete works")
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Davinci Code... why is it on this "list"?
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwanhalf-bolded because I made it halfway through:)
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert X
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce76 The Inferno – Dante 
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White 
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


I think the fact that I haven't read Charlotte's Web or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a testament to my screwed-up childhood. Many of the books on this list are ones that I own (Lolita, Time Traveler's Wife, Dracula, Notes from a Small Island), but haven't gotten around to reading yet. I realize that this is just some list (can't say "random," as it was published by BBC), but I can't believe I have only read 9 out of the 100... Have read Christmas Carol but only the play version...that doesn't count since Dickens' version is a novella...

One step forward, one step back, maybe even 2.

I just can't get a break. Seems like every time there is an improvement in our current "lot in life," there is another thing that comes along that makes you step backward. Case in point: I've been taking tons of tech classes at work and have managed to earn Master's + 30 indistrict credits. I got a pay raise of about $70 a month. In my head, I rationalize, "Wow, that's basically our phone bill. It's almost our whole cable bill. Cool."

Then, we got an updated mortgage bill in the mail the other day. Our mortgage has gone up by about $50 each month. It's so aggravating. I realize John is working part-time and we have less income, but still. It's such a downer that you could have the "decent" joint income of what ours is and still be struggling. When I think about it, my heart starts beating faster. I don't even want to take the time or effort to go outside and rake leaves or "beautify" our house because I am just so pissed off at the cost of things. I know things could be worse, but I also get so focused on how angry I am at the cost of things. They say that buying a house is the American dream but in 2010 (especially in NJ), it really isn't. I worry ahead to when we get John's tuition bill for spring... and that's not even that much, since it is a local college, but still.

I miss the simplicity of apartment life. We always had enough for rent and necessities, plus money for extras.I don't need things to be easy, but I need to be able to take one step ahead and remain in the forward-walking direction.

Halloween Frenzy

As a kid, I didn't like Halloween. My recollections of childhood Halloweens revolve around the following images: a 2 year-old me in red cowgirl outfit, standing beside my father; having to concoct my own "clown" outfit when Mom was drunk and I had to dress up for Halloween (I wore a green clown wig with her hippie vest from the 1960s); feeling fat and frumpy and wearing large, billowy clothing to be a gypsy in high school; dressing up as a nun (so fucking lame); and dressing up as a baby (the prototypical outfit for teen girls who want to go trick-or-treating but don't want to put effort into a costume).

I think I revel in Halloween as an adult because of those junky childhood memories.

This year, I am being a "provocative" jailbird. I always like the contradiction of my outfits: short skirt with fishnets, but with masculine Doc Martens and black boxer briefs under the skirt since it is so short:) It's like being a slutty tomboy.

I feel kind of crappy this year because I have definitely gained weight the past few months and don't necessarily feel "sexy." I really have to get this eating/portion control situation in order.

I am, however, remaining optimistic and looking ahead---I am already thinking about my costume for next year. For probably the past 4 years, I have yearned to be a mermaid for Halloween. I have searched online and know, by heart, the various color and design offerings from several websites. I want to buy a costume, but tweak it with my own ideas.

Tonight, at the Good Will store and TJ Maxx, I saw TWO mermaid costumes-- one was for a dog and the other was for a little girl. I get that it's Halloween and costumes are abound, but Good Will and TJ Maxx aren't exactly costume headquarters. The mermaid costumes are a sign--- I must be one next year!

Mom and baby costumes...

I realize that we're in a different generation. Having kids does not mean you have to leave behind all remnants of youth or fun. However, I also think there is something ridiculous about the abundance of moms (and dads too) who dress up to match their small children.

I don't have any strong arguments for my point of view. I just think it's stupid. I have no issue with dressing up a little for Halloween and having fun going trick-or-treating with your little ones (although my feelings on trick-or-treating with babies is also a strong one: I think it's stupid!). When  you start coordinating family costumes though, eek... it's a bit much for me.

I'm sure I might change my mind a bit when we have a baby of our own (though I really don't think I will) :)

FML

I hate when people post FML on Facebook. Inevitably, it is always followed by something that is clearly not an FML situation. An FML situation is a situation that is so dire and, just plain shitty, that you don't have actual time to worry about posting it on Facebook.

Some people post FML in regard to traffic. Um--- we live in NJ---the most densely populated state in the U.S. Fuck population density, maybe...but not your life.

Others post FML in connection to instances like having tons of grad school work to do. Okay-- a majority of people make the choice to go to grad school; most aren't forced into it.  If they're making that choice, then they shouldn't complain. I suffered through grad classes and working full-time (all while regressing to an acne-ridden face from the chaos of it all); I survived...and not once did I post FML.

I just think that our society is such a generation ME society. People really need to think about others' situations and, then, they should give mindful thought to whether they are truly in FML situations.

Take me, for example. John and I got married and moved into our first home. Three months later, he quit his job (with my agreement) and decided to go back to school. Now, we have: mortgage payments (almost 3x what our previous apartment rent was), the higher utilities bills that come with houses, and tuition fees. I work full-time and John is only working part-time. The situation sucks. BUT... our relationship is great and even better than ever. We're making our ends meet, month to month. It could be worse. It isn't an FML situation.

I think I am going to start an FPD movement though.

Hilarious

The women at Weight Watchers crack me up.

Today, I had a weight gain of .8 pounds. "Just a speck," according to the woman who signed me in at the front desk. A speck? It's almost a pound...

The woman at the front desk proceeded to look me over, up and down: "What kind of pants do you have on today?"

I had on light spandex exercise pants... the kind I always wear on weigh-in day. I had no shoes on and a light t-shirt on, like usual.  My clothing is the "control" in this weight loss "experiment."

My sister-in-law, upon hearing of my weight gain, asked me, "Did you... you know...go to the bathroom today?"

Hilarious...the excuses that we make for ourselves, and for others.

Nope, ladies. No heavier clothing. No lack of excretion. Just too many slices of pumpkin cake and Italian appetizers at Saturday night's dinner.

On to next week....

Heavy breathing, like Notorious B.I.G.

I remember when Notorious B.I.G.'s songs came out---my friends and I would laugh at the heavy breathing he produced during the song--clear signs that the man was morbidly obese and, possibly, had binged a cheeseburger, fries, and onion rings during sound checks.

Right now, I have a gigantic ass.  I am also breathing heavily when simply walking around or carrying things. I'm just annoyed at how I've "let myself go."

I officially started WW on Monday. Went to the meeting and stepped on the scale of truth. The number was higher than I thought it would be.  Some girl at the meeting was basically explaining her way of cheating the points system and making something be less points. Another woman asked, "I just don't know what to do. At night, all I want to do is eat." I had to slightly smile at comments like that. 1] Don't "cheat" the points system.... it's meant for estimations, not total scientific accuracies. 2] Um- don't eat?

I am trying to take things in stride. Went to put on my "big jeans" for work and they were skin tight. Skin tight where you are left with rivet marks from the waist band deeply pressing into your flesh. Whatever. Put on another pair of jeans that were probably too casual for work but oh well.

Am just trying to keep a positive state of mind, which is ridiculously difficult for pessimist me. Think I will make like DJ Tanner in that infamous Full House episode: put pictures of models all over the fridge, snack on ice cubes, and exercise lots... I'll be that episode minus the fainting.

Vocation

Voc means having to do with the voice. A vocation, as most know it, is a job-- though the word's definition also generally includes the phrase "a calling."

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Agh. At times, I wish summer vacation was less time or that I could find a "summer job" that would pay decent and be "fun." When it comes down to it, not working for two months makes it extremely difficult on the eventual evening before you go back to work.

I have to do seating charts, make some cut-outs for the bulletin board, and do some other mundane tasks. I've stayed in all day and basically done nothing except eat exorbitant amounts of food and flip-flopped through the various marathons on TV: 90210, Housewives of NJ, and The Office.

Of course, part of me is nervous about tomorrow morning--- the first impressions the students will form about me, especially.

Many times, people have asked me (students and adults) whether I think you need to be smart to be a teacher. While intelligence is a factor, when you get down to it, you just have to be a few steps in front of the students. Not exactly genius work, especially at middle school or primary school level.

At this stage in the teaching game, I feel like confidence can make you rise above any missing intellectual components. Act like you know and act like you are spectacular at what you do and people, notably 13 year olds, fall for it.

I feel like I am the other way around--I have the intelligence part down-pat but am lacking the confidence part---which makes going back to work tomorrow even more challenging. Nothing I will do with my classes tomorrow will be particularly deep or thought-provoking. I just need the confidence. Argh.

As thoughts are swirling around me about the idea of going "back to work," the following poem aptly arrived in my inbox as poem of the day.

Vocation
by Sandra Beasley

For six months I dealt Baccarat in a casino.
For six months I played Brahms in a mall.
For six months I arranged museum dioramas;
my hands were too small for the Paleolithic
and when they reassigned me to lichens, I quit.
I type ninety-one words per minute, all of them Help. Yes, I speak Dewey Decimal.
I speak Russian, Latin, a smattering of Tlingit.
I can balance seven dinner plates on my arm.
All I want to do is sit on a veranda while
a hard rain falls around me. I'll file your 1099s.
I'll make love to strangers of your choice.
I'll do whatever you want, as long as I can do it
on that veranda. If it calls you, it's your calling,
right? Once I asked a broker what he loved
about his job, and he said Making a killing.
Once I asked a serial killer what made him
get up in the morning, and he said The people.

The kind of morning I like

I haven't been outside yet, so who knows---it could be humid and uncomfortable.  I am loving the weather from inside the house though. Am sitting in the computer room with nothing but the windows to light the room. The blinds are half open. I can hear the breeze shake the trees intermittently. Spots of light and shadow are entering the window, then exiting. It's supposed to be in the 70s today. In my opinion, it's a perfect day.

"I'm a Weight Watcher!"

When I used to be on Weight Watchers (officially, as in going to the meetings and beaming over stupid incentives like bookmarks celebrating weight loss), I made up this 4-word jingle that basically copied the "I'm a Wheel Watcher" jingle from the gameshow. Instead, you guessed it, the lines in the jingle were "I'm a Weight Watcher."

Well, I guess I can sing that song again--starting this evening.

I have decided to rejoin Weight Watchers, meetings and all. I haven't stepped on a scale in ages but clothing says enough--- went to go put on my "loose" nice jeans for work and they were skin tight on me... like skin tight as in how Suzanne Somers wore her jeans on Three's Company. This was not a SEXY tight either.

Clothing tells enough. I don't need to step on a scale. I also don't want to step on a scale-- because I know the number will be high--the highest it has been in what I can truthfully say is YEARS.

I am trying to get too negative. Afterall, I am not 300 pounds or at the point of necessary gastric bypass (though I would welcome that "easy" weight loss-- haha). I'm just aggravated at myself. I got to such a good point over a year and a half ago and now I screwed it all up.

I used to say my total weight loss goal would be to get to 137. Screw that. For the timebeing, I just want my typically loose jeans to be loose:) Onward and upward (except for the #s on the scale)...

10 days in the shoes of Morgan Spurlock

I think I am still feeling residual effects from our Midwest Tour de Fat. Since we have gotten back from the trip, I've just been sitting around, basically doing nothing. Should really go to the gym and plan on actually getting there today. I know I just have to get back to improved eating habits but I feel, as the saying goes, "like a bump on a log."

Right now I am thinking of how, in Supersize Me, Morgan Spurlock gets his medical checkup (after nearly a month of consuming McDonald's) and his cholesterol, heart rate, etc are dreadful. I feel the same.

I don't know how people can eat like this all the time. I just feel like shit :) In fact, I don't know how I ate like this in high school. I used to always eat Mcdonald's, Burger King, etc. Guess that's why I had to wear guys' clothing for most of my high school life (could never find my size in regular stores for girls).

Gluttony goes hand in hand with another "g" word: guilt.

Left to my own ideas

So I couldn't think of anything to write and googled "blog post ideas." I got a bunch of stupid ideas:) Even beyond stupid, a lot of them seemed pretentious...like I should post under the assumption that I have a huge following or something. Lame.

Instead I am left on my own to come up with ideas.

We're back from the Midwest trip. I loved Wisconsin. Granted, we were in Wisconsin during the most beautiful time of the year but still-- could winter be that bad?

Along the trip, there were definite laugh-out-loud points. Just a sampling of them:

**When we were touring the Miller Brewery, the guy in front of us had on a bowling-style shirt that said ROTTING FLESH on the back, yellow letters against a black background. Badass. Haha.

**Also on the brewery tour, we saw some guy fondling a cigar in his hand. Seriously. He had the cigar, unlit, resting between his fingers.

**This girl was leaving, Culver's, a popular fast food restaurant. She was, and I say this truthfully, huge. She had on a light blue t-shirt, speckled with bleach stains. Maybe a Pollock fan? :) She also had on cotton shorts that clearly had an elasticized waist. Upon reaching into the backseats on her caravan, the shirt went up, the shorts went down, and... ass was seen. Hilarious.

**At this metal show we went to, we saw this guy that clearly needed other people's validation. He did that hand gesture, the one that means "Rock on" or something like that. While doing the gesture, he looked around him and kind of shook his head in an affirmative way--seeking someone else to agree with him that the music was "badass." He had a portion of his hair that was spiked and dyed red. He had on: a Rolling Stone tee, jeans with large ass pockets, bright white sneakers, a silver studded belt (think 8th graders shopping at Hot Topic), a skull bandana twisted around his wrist, a red studded-like bracelet, and painted nails. I am not making any of these details up. He was hilarious.

Good times.

Midwest thoughts

Almost [approximately] 10 years ago, John and me embarked on our East coast roadtrip.Over the course of 4 weeks, maybe even more, we traveled down I-95 and made our way to Florida. We stopped along the way in: Baltimore, some very urban place in DC/Virginia whose hotel featured a "drug watch jurisdiction" sign, Outer Banks, Savannah, Charleston, Daytona Beach, Miami, Orlando, and finally made it to Key West.

Right now we are halfway through our Midwest roadtrip. Drove 14 hours the first day and made it to Chicago. Wandered 'round Wrigleyville area of Chicago. Moved on to Milwaukee (parked astoundingly far from places that has ridiculously close parking spots---we assume every place is like NYC: "Stop! Take the parking spot as soon as you see it.").Next was Mall of America (fun, but we were hoping it would be like a little town-- a place where you could sleep and everything--instead it was tourist mecca). We then turned around and made it back to Appleton to visit John's friend.

Being out here makes me think of possibilities of moving. The houses are reasonably priced and if I moved out here I'd feel like I was making money and not just giving the entire paycheck to the mortgage company.People say you make more $ in NJ and that's true, but it's mainly only true for those upper level business jobs. Plus, the house prices are exponentially cheaper... you'd make out in the end by moving here.

There's so much green too. On the highway, we saw what I could honestly say were verdant tracts of land. Tons of wildflowers growing on roadsides. Plenty of horses and cows to see. There's lot of state and county parks and just general kindess. It's the type of place in which I would want to have John and I raise a family.

Moving would not happen for AWHILE but it's something wonderful to keep in the back [but not too far back] part of my mind. 
 

STFU

Agh. Facebook status posts aro so annoying and self-indulgent. I don't need to hear about someone's amazing vacation or read some lameass post that praises the "aesthetics" of artwork at the Tate Museum.

This one really makes me roll my eyes: 1 year ago today I married my best friend, today I get to look forward to spending an entire lifetime together!

Half the time, when I read facebook status updates I am either thinking to myself "shut the fuck up" or "get a fucking life." Yes, i realize one could argue that the second thought could easily be said to me, in terms of the abundant amount of time I spend reading the stupid status updates in the first place.

I feel that sites like Facebook are places where people can just gloat about the wonderful, amazing, fill in the blank here with any lameass adjective you'd see on sticker that an elementary school teacher would hand out, things going on in their lives. Equally annoying is when people are like "There's a long line at the DMV--- fml." Really? Fuck your life because you're waiting on a long line somewhere...?

When I am away from the computer, it generally "does me good." Although I miss it, it is so completely refreshing to go about my day and just get things done. I like situations where I am forced to be without technologies, for temporary amounts of time.

I've made an oath to myself to not post self-indulgent things....though I am not really a self-indulgent kind of person anyway, when it comes to comments I make in everyday life. I like to avoid the spotlight being on me... because there's over 6.5 billion other people in the world.

Mixed Sky

Love the sky outside right now. There's still a trace of blue jutting through the rest of the sky, white and grey. There's dark clouds overhead but the sky still looks indecisive---not sure if it will rain, downpour, or just stay stagnant.

For years, I've quite enjoyed weather reports of epic proportions. Whenever there's a hurricane or earthquake [not in Jersey, of course], I stay near the television and constantly tune in to hear about the latest progression. Somehow I feel that my enthusiasm for natural disasters would significantly decrease if I lived in an area that actually had natural disasters.

Natural disasters are to the Weather Channel what Britney Spears breakdowns are to Perez Hilton--- a godsend.

The forecast for tonight is pretty bland: a mix of clouds and sun. Tomorrow, it will be "generally sunny." Sunday, just about the same. Monday has a chance for scattered thunderstorms---that makes me smile. I love the sudden sound of thunder crashing, the darkened skies, and the occasional lightning bolt being the only thing that illuminates your daylight bedroom.