Weird cat lady gets weirder

This afternoon I had a food craving for Indian food. Food cravings don't occur too often with me- sure, I get certain cravings when watching TV and seeing commercials.... but generally, I don't "act" upon those urges.

Went to the Indian restaurant near our apartment and got the lunch buffet...Chicken Tikka Masala, Naan, and various other foods that I do not know by name.

Eating at a restaurant alone is kind of weird. I felt like everyone was watching me and wondering, "Why is she here alone?" Three things crossed my mind...things they could have been thinking:
1] she is completely antisocial and weird...but happens to like Indian food
2] she is bulimic--one of those people who you see on Tyra Banks' show or something... she binges by herself...and will soon proceed to go into the bathroom
3] she is a member of OverEaters Anonymous and is "getting her fix" right now.

I obviously think too much.

Eating alone is kind of cool...it feels a bit liberating...the fact that you do not need company in order to enjoy the ambiance of a restaurant. I know some friends who always feel the need to be with other people when they go shopping, to the movies, etc. I quite like being alone...

Shortly after I was there, a guy came in and had lunch by himself too. He was in the booth near mine and instead of having his back face me, his face was facing me. I thought that was odd.

As I left the restaurant, I heard a student say hi to me. The student was there with her whole family. It was odd, unexpected. I mean, it wasnt like I was at Friday's or Bennigan's or something...this is a small Indian restaurant in the middle of a stripmall that features Dress Barn and Marshalls. I quickly replied, "Hi" back to the student.

I know my students think of me as cat lady. I never mention John because teaching is one of those professions where "the system" likes to be conservative and traditional---people living together BEFORE marriage? What an unorthodox idea!

Now instead of being "cat lady," I will be weird cat lady who had mid-day binges of Indian food...by herself. Oh well. :)

Haribo candy, i love you.

Am working on a final paper for the class that I am taking this semester. The bed looks like a library vomited all over it--- books, papers, scraps of paper, all over the place. I'm a nerd with research...I think I actually like it. And I like looking at the ends of chapters and finding new resources.

I'm not really 'stressed' about the paper. It is what it is and I have given myself plenty of time to get it done. However, I have used this paper as an excuse to eat tons of candy....because, you know, when you're 'stressed,' sometimes food helps. Last week, I "scored" some caramel/candied apples and Reeses Pieces.... Today I went to the store and bought some Haribo root beer gummies...as hard as imaginable, tooth-breaking gumminess, but so good.

The other day I was jokingly telling John that I want to look like Kate Moss. We were both joking about how she has to "work" to look like she does-- you know, supporting a crack habit is not easy nowadays...

I think it's funny how we make excuses for ourselves so that we can things that we like.-- the example being my candy frenzy.

Tomorrow after class, I WILL exercise.

John had me work out with him the other day and now my legs and shoulders hurt...that's my excuse for not exercising today. I told John that if he was my personal trainer, I would have taken 70 bucks cash, thrown it at him, and exclaimed, "I quit."

No peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts

There aren’t too many movies that I will watch over and over, no matter what my mood is. However, Bridget Jones’s Diary is one of those movies that I can watch over and over and enjoy. I have to say I find Hugh Grant charming---they had some “I Love the 90s” special on VH1 the other day and were talking about the Hugh grant/ Divine Brown debacle and were saying how Hugh Grant is the only man who can sound charming, amidst apologizing for sleeping with a prostitute. I agree. And I love the Colin Firth character too--- the nice guy, Rudolph the Reindeer sweater and all, who always seems to get screwed over.

Most of all, I like how Bridget Jones (via Renee Zellweger), is this goofy, insecure character who somehow remains charming.

This movie reminds me of a book I recently read, Jemima J, by Jane Green. I’d have to carefully compare publication dates but I think Jemima J is a complete ripoff of Bridget Jones’s Diary…and since it was a book before it was a movie, I’m sure the Helen Fielding book came out before Jane Green’s literary endeavor. Jemima J features a British woman who works in the journalism field (coincidence?). She’s overweight and has a huge crush on someone within her office… she ends up meeting someone online, in California, and ends up meeting him. The most unbelievable part of the book was that Jemima J (due to lying to her online “beau”) feels the need to lose weight; she goes from 180 to 120 within an unmentioned amount of time…by exercising like crazy and basically starving herself. Although I loved the book and found myself reading it like crazy, this whole aspect pissed me off. Jemima J, once she is 120 pounds, is glorified in the book. It’s such bullshit.

But Bridget Jones--- such a charming character---and she feels real too! She makes completely stupid mistakes but somehow seems to come out on top… Anyway, the movie makes for a great way to procrastinate on a Sunday night….