Ok, yes, I think that I have a job that's worthy of respect... I think I am "attempting" to lead the minds of tomorrow down the right paths today...yadda yadda yadda....
But I can't help but notice that so many fellow teachers are incredibly irritating.
I went out to lunch with some teachers last week. They all [seriously] had Coach purses with them (or Nine West for the subtler ones). They all had this silverish watch on. I don't know what it is called or what brand it is because I just look at my cell phone. Before the time of me carrying a cell phone, I'd politely go up to strangers and ask what time it was. I've never been a watch person. They all talk about their condos or townhouses. And then the rings... it's like every teacher I know in the age bracket from 25-30 has an engagement ring on her finger. And all the rings look similar... band of diamonds...and this one diamond jutting out in the middle.
I know I shouldn't waste my time looking [or writing...or thinking!] about other people. But... I don't know...I feel so different from so many of them. But I somehow do not think that makes me the odd one out. I think they are the odd ones.
I know we go on and on about materialism and consumption, but it just seems to be so true and evident. And it annoys me that I see so many people in my profession with those same kinds of beliefs. Don't get me wrong. I buy stuff... there's things I want. But I feel like "myself" most of the time, like me. I don't look around and feel like I am everyone else.
And this is NOT to say that I think I am unique or original. But surely, these girls who I lunched with cannot be THAT similar. It's just bizarre, that's all.
But I think that when you have "educators" acting like they're part of some clone wars experiment, people do lose respect for them.
Like some weird version of Professional Stepford Wives.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Back on the blog
Wow---it's been a LONG time since I have blogged. During the day, I constantly have thoughts and imagine sitting down later in the day and jotting down those thoughts here. Somehow that never happens. And the amusing or funny or witty thoughts that I had drifting around my mind--well, they disappear.
Today though..I noticed something I have been noticing for awhile...
What's up with huge engagement rings? Like engagement rings where the diamond is raised real high, a la weapon mode? I don't get it. Aesthetically, I think it is unattractive. Also, the "raised diamond" just seems intentionally showy...which I guess it is. You can't really raise a little diamond all too high. Also--I don't know, it seems like your ring would constantly get caught on clothing, etc.
I think that setting is called Marquise...I heard the word thrown around from a friend. She "wanted" a Marquise setting, 1 1/2 carats, blah blah blah.
The whole wedding planning is crazy. I don't think we would "really" do this, but amidst the planning of invitation fonts/thermography, dress fittings, song selections, ceremony readings selections, etc, flying off to somewhere other than here sounds DIVINE. John's family is huge and fairly close-knit. I know the idea of eloping wouldn't necessarily go over all too well with them. But it just seems easier.
I, however, like to stick to the mindset that things are only as complicated as I let them be. I'm trying to stay as minimal frills as possible.
But back to the ring. Women just seem so obsessed with it. John and I have been together 8 years. I never "prodded" or forced him to propose. I think I ONCE uttered, "If you ever propose to me, use the diamond that my Mom gave to me." It's a half carat or 3/4 and was from a necklace setting. I didn't want him going broke to buy me a ring.
The whole American wedding is over the top and ridiculous.
Like a nerd, I recalled reading a book about the American wedding "dream" about a year ago...I checked my book journal [that's the nerd status qualifier] and got the title: One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. And they say you "can't buy love." Whoever said that was not from the U.S., I'm guessing.
Today though..I noticed something I have been noticing for awhile...
What's up with huge engagement rings? Like engagement rings where the diamond is raised real high, a la weapon mode? I don't get it. Aesthetically, I think it is unattractive. Also, the "raised diamond" just seems intentionally showy...which I guess it is. You can't really raise a little diamond all too high. Also--I don't know, it seems like your ring would constantly get caught on clothing, etc.
I think that setting is called Marquise...I heard the word thrown around from a friend. She "wanted" a Marquise setting, 1 1/2 carats, blah blah blah.
The whole wedding planning is crazy. I don't think we would "really" do this, but amidst the planning of invitation fonts/thermography, dress fittings, song selections, ceremony readings selections, etc, flying off to somewhere other than here sounds DIVINE. John's family is huge and fairly close-knit. I know the idea of eloping wouldn't necessarily go over all too well with them. But it just seems easier.
I, however, like to stick to the mindset that things are only as complicated as I let them be. I'm trying to stay as minimal frills as possible.
But back to the ring. Women just seem so obsessed with it. John and I have been together 8 years. I never "prodded" or forced him to propose. I think I ONCE uttered, "If you ever propose to me, use the diamond that my Mom gave to me." It's a half carat or 3/4 and was from a necklace setting. I didn't want him going broke to buy me a ring.
The whole American wedding is over the top and ridiculous.
Like a nerd, I recalled reading a book about the American wedding "dream" about a year ago...I checked my book journal [that's the nerd status qualifier] and got the title: One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. And they say you "can't buy love." Whoever said that was not from the U.S., I'm guessing.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Blimpie
I TRY not to be one of those girls who constantly exclaims, "I'm so fat! My thighs are gross! I disgust myself," but lately that's what I feel like. I'm not vocalizing those thoughts aloud but they are constantly crossing my mind. When I was HUGE in freshman year of college, those thoughts didnt really pass my mind. I knew I was big and unhealthy but that was basically all I had ever known myself as, so I didn't pay that much mind to it. Going to an all female college where your looks didnt really matter helped to make me less aware of my...girth.
After meeting John, I lost some weight...maybe 20 pounds at the most...but it made such a difference.
Now... I just feel big again. It's frustrating. I eat healthy stuff, for the most part...but have no control over serving sizes. I've "started" Weight Watchers countless times, but whenever I make a mistake and binge, I simply write off the regimen and go back to normal.
Now I'm at the point where I think I will join John's mom and go to the Weight Watchers meetings and fully "join." Honestly, I wish someone took calipers to me and was just like, "You're fat." I need something to motivate me.
I'm hoping that the weekly weigh-ins will somehow motivate me. The thing is...now I know what I "could be" and I want to be that....
Why is it that Europeans don't seem to have this problem? So many are tall, slender, and UNobsessed with food....
After meeting John, I lost some weight...maybe 20 pounds at the most...but it made such a difference.
Now... I just feel big again. It's frustrating. I eat healthy stuff, for the most part...but have no control over serving sizes. I've "started" Weight Watchers countless times, but whenever I make a mistake and binge, I simply write off the regimen and go back to normal.
Now I'm at the point where I think I will join John's mom and go to the Weight Watchers meetings and fully "join." Honestly, I wish someone took calipers to me and was just like, "You're fat." I need something to motivate me.
I'm hoping that the weekly weigh-ins will somehow motivate me. The thing is...now I know what I "could be" and I want to be that....
Why is it that Europeans don't seem to have this problem? So many are tall, slender, and UNobsessed with food....
Monday, May 05, 2008
FREE
"The stars were in alignment today," or however that saying goes. After work, I drove to drop off my final paper and then rushed back onto route 46... hopped onto 80W and cruised onto 287south...with no traffic whatsoever, despite the fact that it was 4:45 in the afternoon. Amazing.
Handing in the final paper just feels like such a weight has been lifted. It wasn't even that the paper was "that" much work; I worked on it in dribs and drabs; it wasn't like I completed it in one 10 hour cram session. Just having to hand it in though... I felt like May 5 would never arrive.
It's smooth sailing from here...wow...cliches abound this evening.
Wish I had some plans of debauchery, but can't say I do. Next step is to clean the apartment, which includes getting through the many mounds of laundry sitting all over the place.... have tons of DVDs by my bedside that are waiting to be watched.
It was a non-humid 75 degrees out today. The air in the evening is cool, but not torturous. The smell of freshly cut grass is a commonality. Class trips, assemblies, half-days and other time wasters are just around the corner...and PNC concert season is almost here. Things are good. :)
Handing in the final paper just feels like such a weight has been lifted. It wasn't even that the paper was "that" much work; I worked on it in dribs and drabs; it wasn't like I completed it in one 10 hour cram session. Just having to hand it in though... I felt like May 5 would never arrive.
It's smooth sailing from here...wow...cliches abound this evening.
Wish I had some plans of debauchery, but can't say I do. Next step is to clean the apartment, which includes getting through the many mounds of laundry sitting all over the place.... have tons of DVDs by my bedside that are waiting to be watched.
It was a non-humid 75 degrees out today. The air in the evening is cool, but not torturous. The smell of freshly cut grass is a commonality. Class trips, assemblies, half-days and other time wasters are just around the corner...and PNC concert season is almost here. Things are good. :)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Obsession
Lately, I've been obsessed with paperweights. I have them all over my desk at work. I'd have them at home, but Lola and Flash are ultra frisky and have a tendency to knock things over and break them. I have visions of coming home from work and seeing broken shards all over...hence, leaving all of them at work.
I've even bought a few paperweights from Ebay. Of course, they look grand and beautiful in digital photo form but when I finally get them in the mail, they're not as luminous as I would have hoped for.
Was in the city with Jaime awhile ago and we passed by a store that had tons of paperweights in its display window. I figured, "Why not go in?" Was not ready to see pricetags of $100+.
I guess what fascinates me is the collision of colors. They remind me of kaleidoscopes.
I guess part of the fascination is also connected to my father. I don't remember much about him, but I do recall that on his workdesk, there were various paperweights. Most vividly, I recall a paperweight that had a bright orange and mustard yellow color combination.
I might try to sneak one or two real nice paperweights onto the wedding registry...
I've even bought a few paperweights from Ebay. Of course, they look grand and beautiful in digital photo form but when I finally get them in the mail, they're not as luminous as I would have hoped for.
Was in the city with Jaime awhile ago and we passed by a store that had tons of paperweights in its display window. I figured, "Why not go in?" Was not ready to see pricetags of $100+.
I guess what fascinates me is the collision of colors. They remind me of kaleidoscopes.
I guess part of the fascination is also connected to my father. I don't remember much about him, but I do recall that on his workdesk, there were various paperweights. Most vividly, I recall a paperweight that had a bright orange and mustard yellow color combination.
I might try to sneak one or two real nice paperweights onto the wedding registry...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Tears of Happiness?
I don't know what's going on with me, but lately I have been crying at just about everything. Don't know if it can be attributed to some weird emotional change in me now that I am becoming a bride... or maybe I'm being affected by not being on birth control anymore. All I know is that I cry at a wide array of things.
I wouldn't say that it is excessive crying, but anyone who knows me knows that it takes quite a bit to make me cry. Sometimes I cry amidst obvious moments. When we met with the priest and were discussing the marriage ceremony, he asked, "Why do you want to marry John?" All I could do was look over at John and then, while crying, say, "Because I love him." He then answered the priest's same question with this amazingly complex answer... which, in retrospect, makes me laugh. My answer involved crying so it is "better," so I claim:)
I've been crying at stupid things lately... American Idol being a prime example...or The Biggest Loser. Reality shows are not intended to make people cry...in fact, they're supposed to provoke the opposite response: pointing at the tv screen, laughing, being shocked, being amazed, but not being drawn to tears.
I also just watched the movie Once...The movie's main song, "Falling Slowly," made me cry. The movie has the song within it at least 3 times... all 3 times, it had the same effect on me.
I don't think this phenomenon is a bad thing...it's just different for me. And I can only imagine my wedding day. My emotions, whether happy or sad, seem to stay within me and then suddenly, they explode. I think I should invest in Kleenex stock before October.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoSL_qayMCc
I wouldn't say that it is excessive crying, but anyone who knows me knows that it takes quite a bit to make me cry. Sometimes I cry amidst obvious moments. When we met with the priest and were discussing the marriage ceremony, he asked, "Why do you want to marry John?" All I could do was look over at John and then, while crying, say, "Because I love him." He then answered the priest's same question with this amazingly complex answer... which, in retrospect, makes me laugh. My answer involved crying so it is "better," so I claim:)
I've been crying at stupid things lately... American Idol being a prime example...or The Biggest Loser. Reality shows are not intended to make people cry...in fact, they're supposed to provoke the opposite response: pointing at the tv screen, laughing, being shocked, being amazed, but not being drawn to tears.
I also just watched the movie Once...The movie's main song, "Falling Slowly," made me cry. The movie has the song within it at least 3 times... all 3 times, it had the same effect on me.
I don't think this phenomenon is a bad thing...it's just different for me. And I can only imagine my wedding day. My emotions, whether happy or sad, seem to stay within me and then suddenly, they explode. I think I should invest in Kleenex stock before October.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoSL_qayMCc
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Dolly Parton--a deep thinker?
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain..." ---yes, indeed---a quote by Dolly Parton.
Our students are prepping for state testing and we're encouraging them to use quotations in opening sentences....so cheesy quotations are hanging up all over the school. I actually don't mind that Dolly Parton quotation--although I can't ever imagine admitting to "quoting" Dolly Parton.
Things have felt down lately... I don't know, it might just be my reflection on today. I felt so out of it at work, so tired... not even caffeine tablets could energize me.
Wedding planning is going okay. I honestly don't get why people freak out. If you take it one step at a time, it's manageable. Am freaking out a bit because John's mom showed me the guest list for their side and it is 120. I'm not too picky but I totally want to avoid having tables of 10; 10 at a table is so incredibly crowded. If they have 120, just on their side, it will be tables of 10. I'm hoping for people to RSVP "No." ;-)
Work kind of sucks. The kids are off the wall and understandably so. Spring break is eons away. I know I shouldn't complain because other people hardly get any time off, in comparison to what teachers get...but we need this break...badly.
Also... I think I got scammed on Ebay:( It's only a 7 dollar pair of earrings, but I'm annoyed. AFTER purchasing the item, I looked at the seller's feedback and some people mentioned they never got their item. 2 weeks later, I am still waiting for mine:(
I know none of what I am feeling now is anything all too tragic or horrible. I just feel like I am living life as if I am a pause button on a CD player...no moving forward, backward, or anywhere. God, that sounds pathetic and angsty. I think I just need to get some sleep.
Our students are prepping for state testing and we're encouraging them to use quotations in opening sentences....so cheesy quotations are hanging up all over the school. I actually don't mind that Dolly Parton quotation--although I can't ever imagine admitting to "quoting" Dolly Parton.
Things have felt down lately... I don't know, it might just be my reflection on today. I felt so out of it at work, so tired... not even caffeine tablets could energize me.
Wedding planning is going okay. I honestly don't get why people freak out. If you take it one step at a time, it's manageable. Am freaking out a bit because John's mom showed me the guest list for their side and it is 120. I'm not too picky but I totally want to avoid having tables of 10; 10 at a table is so incredibly crowded. If they have 120, just on their side, it will be tables of 10. I'm hoping for people to RSVP "No." ;-)
Work kind of sucks. The kids are off the wall and understandably so. Spring break is eons away. I know I shouldn't complain because other people hardly get any time off, in comparison to what teachers get...but we need this break...badly.
Also... I think I got scammed on Ebay:( It's only a 7 dollar pair of earrings, but I'm annoyed. AFTER purchasing the item, I looked at the seller's feedback and some people mentioned they never got their item. 2 weeks later, I am still waiting for mine:(
I know none of what I am feeling now is anything all too tragic or horrible. I just feel like I am living life as if I am a pause button on a CD player...no moving forward, backward, or anywhere. God, that sounds pathetic and angsty. I think I just need to get some sleep.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Transcription Junction
Just had to transcribe a 45 minute interview. Of course, I searched "guidelines for transcribing an interview" online and found, much to my dismay, that for every hour of recorded interview, you should be prepared for 4-6 hours of transcription.
I started this assignment on Sunday for an hour. That's all I could take. Worked on it today for an hour and a half, and another hour later. So, the timing is just about right.
It was one of the most tedious tasks ever. I felt like some kind of secretarial robot. It wasn't a hard task, per say. It didn't require intelligence or anything. It was just incredibly tedious and required patience.
I'm so nerdy, the next time I write a paper for class, I'm sure I will think something along the lines of, "This is so freeing. Not having to transcribe and having the ability to be more creative with my wording..."
And by the way...can it snow again? Screw spring coming early. Next vacation isn't until April 22nd and I need a day or two off before then. The DVDs are piling up on my nightstand: La Vie En Rose, From Here to Eternity, Just a Kiss, Chisholm '72, Eastern Promises, Blind Dating, Ira and Abby....Also would love to read something that has no mention of informal reading assessments, graphic organizers, or Fry readability stats...
I started this assignment on Sunday for an hour. That's all I could take. Worked on it today for an hour and a half, and another hour later. So, the timing is just about right.
It was one of the most tedious tasks ever. I felt like some kind of secretarial robot. It wasn't a hard task, per say. It didn't require intelligence or anything. It was just incredibly tedious and required patience.
I'm so nerdy, the next time I write a paper for class, I'm sure I will think something along the lines of, "This is so freeing. Not having to transcribe and having the ability to be more creative with my wording..."
And by the way...can it snow again? Screw spring coming early. Next vacation isn't until April 22nd and I need a day or two off before then. The DVDs are piling up on my nightstand: La Vie En Rose, From Here to Eternity, Just a Kiss, Chisholm '72, Eastern Promises, Blind Dating, Ira and Abby....Also would love to read something that has no mention of informal reading assessments, graphic organizers, or Fry readability stats...
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Brainmush
Yikes. Strange things are a'-brewin' in my mind. I have not gotten to sleep for the past few nights until after 12. I drive home from work and pieces of litter in the roadway suddenly "come to life" and I somehow mistake them for small animals.
I feel overwhelmed with work lately. Am giving out open-ended response assignments and guiding students through them, yet they seem to be making the same errors over and over. I feel like they disregard my comments. It is incredibly irritating. When I sit down and grade a batch of papers, I feel like it is a waste of time.
Am completing tutoring sessions for a grad school class and have no idea if I am tutoring well. Yesterday and today were the first two sessions. I have just been doing assessments, but now I don't know what to do with all of that information. I just feel frustrated, in general.
I feel overwhelmed with work lately. Am giving out open-ended response assignments and guiding students through them, yet they seem to be making the same errors over and over. I feel like they disregard my comments. It is incredibly irritating. When I sit down and grade a batch of papers, I feel like it is a waste of time.
Am completing tutoring sessions for a grad school class and have no idea if I am tutoring well. Yesterday and today were the first two sessions. I have just been doing assessments, but now I don't know what to do with all of that information. I just feel frustrated, in general.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Snow Day Nothingness
Well, we got a snow day from school. Don't know exactly why. It was lightly snowing last night and then did change to ice, but now it is about 40 degrees outside. And for ONCE, I actually cleaned off my car tonight, in order to make this morning easier...a fruitless effort since by the time this morning arrived, the snow had dissipated anyway.
Snow days are odd. I always have these idealized visions of doing things around the apartment, reading, going to the gym (because generally the snow days I get are not anything comparable to REAL snow)...I always end up making breakfast for John (guilt over the fact that he has to go to work), watching however many minutes of a talk show that I can tolerate (this morning it was about 8 minutes of a "You're the daddy and you know it!" paternity episode of Maury), and then falling asleep. Woke up around noon and decided to make myself even more comatose by eating leftover Chinese food...that stuff is like the elixir of great sleep. Then watched the Adam Sandler/Done Cheadle movie Reign Over Me. Cried two to three times during the movie. Not like it was anything super emotional but I don't know...I've been overly emotional lately. EVEN cried during the Grammys. Maybe it is excitement over being married... or feeling overwhelmed by it all. I don't know.
Point is this: for once I wish one of my snow days from work would be a real, hardcore blizzard-like snowday....then I would not feel so guilty about wasting the day away....
Snow days are odd. I always have these idealized visions of doing things around the apartment, reading, going to the gym (because generally the snow days I get are not anything comparable to REAL snow)...I always end up making breakfast for John (guilt over the fact that he has to go to work), watching however many minutes of a talk show that I can tolerate (this morning it was about 8 minutes of a "You're the daddy and you know it!" paternity episode of Maury), and then falling asleep. Woke up around noon and decided to make myself even more comatose by eating leftover Chinese food...that stuff is like the elixir of great sleep. Then watched the Adam Sandler/Done Cheadle movie Reign Over Me. Cried two to three times during the movie. Not like it was anything super emotional but I don't know...I've been overly emotional lately. EVEN cried during the Grammys. Maybe it is excitement over being married... or feeling overwhelmed by it all. I don't know.
Point is this: for once I wish one of my snow days from work would be a real, hardcore blizzard-like snowday....then I would not feel so guilty about wasting the day away....
Monday, February 04, 2008
The Quest for Tacky Earrings continues....
You know how when you get a gift from a family member that you're obligated to wear it at least once....to show that "you like it?" Case in point.... I vividly recall a sweatsuit set I got in 5th grade. Pink pants and sweatshirt... the shirt had a big gumball machine on it and on parts of the shirt and pants were large, circular, gumball-esque things. I can't believe I ever wore it.
Kids today know so much and are such smartasses, if I had the outfit now I'd probably be the target of lines like, "Hey, you have balls all over you." I actually heard someone repeatedly exclaim "Boner!!!" at the end of the schoolday today. I don't know who the culprit was... I don't think I want to.
Back to story.
A few years back I got a pair of dangly earrings from John's aunt and uncle. I used to be a plain Jane, studs-only type of gal. I started wearing the dangly earrings and have since formed somewhat of an addiction. I even tried winning Xmas Troll dangly earrings on Ebay this December but lost the auction.
Despite not being a football fan and not really caring that much about the Giants' victory (although it's awesome that the Patriots were 18-0 and lost it all at the Superbowl...priceless), I've been searching like a lunatic for dangly Giants Superbowl Championship earrings. Found some real tacky ones at the official Giants website. Tacky dangly earrings pair #-who-knows-what, here I come...
Kids today know so much and are such smartasses, if I had the outfit now I'd probably be the target of lines like, "Hey, you have balls all over you." I actually heard someone repeatedly exclaim "Boner!!!" at the end of the schoolday today. I don't know who the culprit was... I don't think I want to.
Back to story.
A few years back I got a pair of dangly earrings from John's aunt and uncle. I used to be a plain Jane, studs-only type of gal. I started wearing the dangly earrings and have since formed somewhat of an addiction. I even tried winning Xmas Troll dangly earrings on Ebay this December but lost the auction.
Despite not being a football fan and not really caring that much about the Giants' victory (although it's awesome that the Patriots were 18-0 and lost it all at the Superbowl...priceless), I've been searching like a lunatic for dangly Giants Superbowl Championship earrings. Found some real tacky ones at the official Giants website. Tacky dangly earrings pair #-who-knows-what, here I come...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Slam it to the left, if you're having a good time
I don't know if it is the BEST $4.99 that I have ever spent but for this weekend, it comes close. Victoria's Secret is still having remnants of their semi-annual sale. How can stuff still cost 15 bucks or more when it is 75% off, I have no idea. Spice Girls' Greatest Hits CD was "exclusively" released by Victoria's Secret...and was in their clearance bin for under 5 bucks. I had to indulge. "Greatest Hits" is a bit of a misnomer...tons of bands have greatest hits albums when they only had 2 or 3 "real" top hits. This one has "Wannabe," "Spice Up Your Life," and one of my faves: "2 Become 1," spelled just like that too. It's a hilarious attempt at a sexy and romantic song.
The Spice Girls are a conundrum. When they came out, it was also about "Girl Power," but I also think they were about society's acceptance of having semi-trashy women as girls' role models. "Wannabe" in itself, if you read the lyrics "deeply, [which I am sure is NOT the intention] almost seems like it's about some big girl-on-girl orgy. Weird. It's funny that they're the Spice Girls because the Spice Channel is a pay-per-view channel featuring pornography... Also, the Spice Girls were kind of trampy...well...mainly Ginger Spice...but still, it was enough trampiness for the 5 of the girls.
I just think it is weird how we have these female singers who are so sexual and have sexually suggestive lyrics, yet somehow they become role models for little girls.
Don't even get me started with Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus...that girl is so artificially made up. Looking @ her is like looking at one of those statues in Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum...
The Spice Girls are a conundrum. When they came out, it was also about "Girl Power," but I also think they were about society's acceptance of having semi-trashy women as girls' role models. "Wannabe" in itself, if you read the lyrics "deeply, [which I am sure is NOT the intention] almost seems like it's about some big girl-on-girl orgy. Weird. It's funny that they're the Spice Girls because the Spice Channel is a pay-per-view channel featuring pornography... Also, the Spice Girls were kind of trampy...well...mainly Ginger Spice...but still, it was enough trampiness for the 5 of the girls.
I just think it is weird how we have these female singers who are so sexual and have sexually suggestive lyrics, yet somehow they become role models for little girls.
Don't even get me started with Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus...that girl is so artificially made up. Looking @ her is like looking at one of those statues in Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum...
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Annoyed
So---it's the end of the marking period. Grades are due and as I grade homework, quizzes, and projects and am in a frenzy, I think, "What's the point of this?" It all just gets annoying. I like to believe in effort and improvement (although not that much---am a true pessimist), but this is what happens: the kids who get A's always get A's and the kids who do shit work end the marking period with D's or F's....or with, god forbid, C's. It pisses me off how a C is considered "unsatisfactory" by so many students and their parents.
Truth of the matter is we're all not little geniuses. Most of us fall in the middle, are "average." How is it that most of us are average but if you looked at school records where I work, a VAST majority of kids are getting mostly A's and B's?
Work has been so annoying lately. I'm there later than everyone else and wonder, "What am I doing wrong?" The special ed teachers, one specifically, piss me off. We have this one teacher who just has no sense of planning or creativity with his lesson plans....none whatsoever. And he just coasts along. He has small classes of 3 or 4 students----this guy won't get fired or anything... he somehow managed to get tenure and now will be at our school for awhile. It pisses me off.
Am maybe going to get all New Agey and start writing daily affirmations...or reading them. Today, after a shitty day at work, I wrote to myself: Don't let people control you---control yourself.
We'll see.
Truth of the matter is we're all not little geniuses. Most of us fall in the middle, are "average." How is it that most of us are average but if you looked at school records where I work, a VAST majority of kids are getting mostly A's and B's?
Work has been so annoying lately. I'm there later than everyone else and wonder, "What am I doing wrong?" The special ed teachers, one specifically, piss me off. We have this one teacher who just has no sense of planning or creativity with his lesson plans....none whatsoever. And he just coasts along. He has small classes of 3 or 4 students----this guy won't get fired or anything... he somehow managed to get tenure and now will be at our school for awhile. It pisses me off.
Am maybe going to get all New Agey and start writing daily affirmations...or reading them. Today, after a shitty day at work, I wrote to myself: Don't let people control you---control yourself.
We'll see.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
One Perfect Day
Read a book over the summer--- One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding, by Rebecca Mead. The book basically talked about bridezilla culture and how it almost is unavoidable. It contrasted wedding from years ago to weddings of today; some time was spent discussing the "almighty" bridal expo shows that are put on and make planning a wedding seem like THE most important and ONLY thing one should be focusing on for a year+.
We put the initial deposit down for the ceremony/reception place. While talking to an employee, we were offered extra such as raw seafood bar and extra dessert table/chocolate fountain. I don't think any of those things are necesary. In regard to the chocolate fountain/ dessert spread, John's mom said, "But I havent been to a wedding where I haven't seen one of those."
And I guess that is what has fueled this bridal culture--the idea that you don't want to be "the one" who didn't have something at her wedding that countless others have had at theirs.
My friend Valerie is also getting married and has booked the Madison Hotel. Was looking at their website and thinking of how beautiful that place is for a wedding. I feel like I am slowly being sucked into the bridal culture. Like..I LOVE where we are getting married, but I quickly see myself comparing it to where my friend will get married.
In the end, the place, dessert options, chair covers, etc should not matter. It's the people who really make the event special.
I have to just keep that idea in my head continuously. Maybe I could even be ultra philosophical and keep one of Hamlet's most well-known mantras in my mind too: "To thine own self be true."
We put the initial deposit down for the ceremony/reception place. While talking to an employee, we were offered extra such as raw seafood bar and extra dessert table/chocolate fountain. I don't think any of those things are necesary. In regard to the chocolate fountain/ dessert spread, John's mom said, "But I havent been to a wedding where I haven't seen one of those."
And I guess that is what has fueled this bridal culture--the idea that you don't want to be "the one" who didn't have something at her wedding that countless others have had at theirs.
My friend Valerie is also getting married and has booked the Madison Hotel. Was looking at their website and thinking of how beautiful that place is for a wedding. I feel like I am slowly being sucked into the bridal culture. Like..I LOVE where we are getting married, but I quickly see myself comparing it to where my friend will get married.
In the end, the place, dessert options, chair covers, etc should not matter. It's the people who really make the event special.
I have to just keep that idea in my head continuously. Maybe I could even be ultra philosophical and keep one of Hamlet's most well-known mantras in my mind too: "To thine own self be true."
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Honeydew and apple red
Wow--haven't blogged in over a month. Feels odd. But at least I don't feel compelled to do an entry on New Year's resolutions or how refreshing it is that a new year has arrived. It'd be a little unseasonal, being that it is January 16th.
Nights are terribly annoying. I can't get to sleep at a "decent hour." 11:45 is usually when I wind up getting into bed. Am usually asleep around 12. I wake up and feel like this machine that just has to keep moving, otherwise I will stop dead in my tracks. It's not something that is that bad---it's really annoying though.
So...John proposed. Friends have asked, "Oooh what is the story? Tell me exactly how he did it." I feel like tying up a transcript and distributing copies of it. The best part of the story that I feel is necessary to say is that I had no idea he was going to propose. I didn't help him pick out a ring or anything either and he did an amazing job. He didn't know my ring size so he told the lady at the jeweler's, "She is 5'5", about 150 pounds, and has big feet." Priceless. The lady apparently was "large" and John went with a ring size that fit her---it didnt fit me. We had a whole debacle of me wearing the ring on my pinkie finger until it got resized.
Wedding details are drifting into place. Everyone acts like it is crazy hard to plan one but I think it is only as complicated as you make it. Am quickly realizing how much everything costs though. According to one website I saw, on average, couples will spend $38,300 for their wedding in New York, Northern New Jersey, Long Island NY, NJ, PA. That's crazy. This state is ridiculous. John and I have "good jobs" and can't afford a house...not even in a shitty area. That's scary. And the wedding...I'm trying to keep costs as low as possible. It's hard though.
John's mom and sister are "on board" to help me plan. Last night we sifted through 6 or 7 bridal magazines. I got bored after about 15 minutes. They proceeded looking and pointing things out.
Thus far--- wedding on October 24 of this year. Can't wait to incorporate leaf-inspired invitations, favors, etc. John is obsessed with red and I am obsessed with green. Neither of us is budging on our color preferences. John's mom and sister seem to have found some common ground for us in the shades of honeydew and "deep" apple red. I love how color names are so vivid...and often food-related. Favorite one: Crayola's Macaroni and Cheese.
Nights are terribly annoying. I can't get to sleep at a "decent hour." 11:45 is usually when I wind up getting into bed. Am usually asleep around 12. I wake up and feel like this machine that just has to keep moving, otherwise I will stop dead in my tracks. It's not something that is that bad---it's really annoying though.
So...John proposed. Friends have asked, "Oooh what is the story? Tell me exactly how he did it." I feel like tying up a transcript and distributing copies of it. The best part of the story that I feel is necessary to say is that I had no idea he was going to propose. I didn't help him pick out a ring or anything either and he did an amazing job. He didn't know my ring size so he told the lady at the jeweler's, "She is 5'5", about 150 pounds, and has big feet." Priceless. The lady apparently was "large" and John went with a ring size that fit her---it didnt fit me. We had a whole debacle of me wearing the ring on my pinkie finger until it got resized.
Wedding details are drifting into place. Everyone acts like it is crazy hard to plan one but I think it is only as complicated as you make it. Am quickly realizing how much everything costs though. According to one website I saw, on average, couples will spend $38,300 for their wedding in New York, Northern New Jersey, Long Island NY, NJ, PA. That's crazy. This state is ridiculous. John and I have "good jobs" and can't afford a house...not even in a shitty area. That's scary. And the wedding...I'm trying to keep costs as low as possible. It's hard though.
John's mom and sister are "on board" to help me plan. Last night we sifted through 6 or 7 bridal magazines. I got bored after about 15 minutes. They proceeded looking and pointing things out.
Thus far--- wedding on October 24 of this year. Can't wait to incorporate leaf-inspired invitations, favors, etc. John is obsessed with red and I am obsessed with green. Neither of us is budging on our color preferences. John's mom and sister seem to have found some common ground for us in the shades of honeydew and "deep" apple red. I love how color names are so vivid...and often food-related. Favorite one: Crayola's Macaroni and Cheese.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Freedom...for two days
Yes!!! I am done with my final project for my grad school class. It was a pain and there was no possibility of bullshitting anything within the project, which poses an extra challenge.
Feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...but obviously my mind is still too mushy right now to make up non-cliched statements. I still haven't met with the professor yet and I am sure changes will have to be made...but for two days, I can relax.
Feel like sitting down and watching a stupid romantic comedy. Actually watched a movie called Imagine Me and You this morning (pre-paper ritual....otherwise known as procrastination). The movie was British and was about a couple that recently got married. Rachel [main character] begins feeling attraction toward the female florist who helped out with the wedding, Luce. What I liked about it was that it didn't take the American "comedic" take of how film addresses people discovering their newfound sexuality. The movie was realistic and the intimate scenes with the women were innocent and non-gratuitous. I now also have a new hair role model...Piper Perabo's hair in the movie is awesome...cascading curls, but the kind that look like they require no effort at all.
Can't believe Christmas is around the corner either. Haven't started shopping. Someone in my grad class said she has been so busy with class that she told her family that they should celebrate Christmas in January...I'm beginning to think the same thing.
Feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...but obviously my mind is still too mushy right now to make up non-cliched statements. I still haven't met with the professor yet and I am sure changes will have to be made...but for two days, I can relax.
Feel like sitting down and watching a stupid romantic comedy. Actually watched a movie called Imagine Me and You this morning (pre-paper ritual....otherwise known as procrastination). The movie was British and was about a couple that recently got married. Rachel [main character] begins feeling attraction toward the female florist who helped out with the wedding, Luce. What I liked about it was that it didn't take the American "comedic" take of how film addresses people discovering their newfound sexuality. The movie was realistic and the intimate scenes with the women were innocent and non-gratuitous. I now also have a new hair role model...Piper Perabo's hair in the movie is awesome...cascading curls, but the kind that look like they require no effort at all.
Can't believe Christmas is around the corner either. Haven't started shopping. Someone in my grad class said she has been so busy with class that she told her family that they should celebrate Christmas in January...I'm beginning to think the same thing.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Ew. Ick. Gross.
Was coming out from Moe’s tonight (Thursday night is lazy night--- takeout food of some kind + an episode of The Office). Had on my favorite pair of brown “work pants” and my winter coat---a
A
LIKE I HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT THE WHOLE MODELING SCAM ON TV.
I tried to remain cordial and quickly said, “I am a full-time teacher and student”— He asked, “You’ve never thought about modeling?” This was being said to someone in a black men’s coat, brown pants, and Easy Spirit-esque shoes. Hilarious. No make-up either. And exiting a fast food place with a giant bag of food.
You’d think he would walk up to someone with Uggs, low-rise jeans, and a Juicy hoodie instead.
The most “typical” part… when he left, he went over to his vehicle…a mini-van.
I was so freaked out. On my drive home, I was literally saying, “Ew, fucking gross, ick” repeatedly, out loud.Friday, November 23, 2007
Black Friday Vampire
John had to work today and had to wake up @ 430AM! I don't know--on days like these, I feel guilty sleeping in when he has to work and deal with a line of 100+ people all vying for the 40 Nintendo Wiis that are on hand.
I was looking @ sale circulars last night and Kohls had some great stuff on sale. I thought, I'll wake up with John and go to Kohls...why not? I SERIOUSLY did not think it would be crowded. Got to Kohls @ 5...the parking lot was packed, there were no shopping carts left, and @ the jewelry counter they gave you numbered tickets as if you were on line @ the deli.
All went smoothly. I know Adbusters is hosting Buy Nothing Day today but, honestly, I will be buying gifts for Christmas. Might as well buy them today and save some money.
After Kohls I went to Target and made it back to the apartment before the official time of sunrise.
No more shopping today.
What I noticed @ 5AM was the "comraderie" at the store. People were polite and were sharing holiday tales with each other on line. The lady in front of me was telling me how she was buying some things for herself, "for once." The woman behind me told me an anecdote of last year--her friend and her went to Kohls, Macys, Pennys, Target, etc and were back to their houses by 10 AM.
Despite the HUGE line....I'd estimate there were 100 people in front of me on line @ the registers.... I somehow think that there was this courtesy in the air because we had all ventured to Kohls at an insane hour.
But there's no way I'd want to be in any shopping mall later today.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Grading sucks
I remember knowing people when I grew up that LOVED to help the teacher grade papers...i.e objective multiple choice tests. I mean, they truly got euphoric when they were allowed to write the BIG C's [for correct] and x out wrong answers in red ink (This was in the early 90s before the purple-ink-let's-not-hurt-self-esteem-w/-red-ink days). I never was that type.
And now... sitting in front of the computer on Sunday night at 6:15, I still am not one of those types. I detest grading tests, quizzes, and written work. Multiple choice quizzes are a waste of time because the kids could just as easily grade the quizzes and we have to go over them in class anyway. Must manage time better so I can have the students grade them. Right now I am also grading book reviews that my 8th graders wrote. Grading them is completely aggravating because most of them ignore marks/comments that I suggested upon reading their rough drafts. I don't get it... is it laziness? is it ageism (I'm one of the youngest 8th gr teachers and I honestly believe some of those kids think I do not know what I am talking about when it comes to writing, etc)? Is it not caring?
Whatever it is, it's headache-inducing. Maybe I care too much...that's probably it. For instance, when I am grading and notice 3 or 4 students in a row who did badly on the quiz, I put the folder of quizzes in my bag and ignore it...because I feel i have taught concepts well enough and failure pisses me off.
Just have to stop thinking so much, I think. Wish I could be like the teacher across the hall. She always has an immaculate desk, free of papers or reminder-notes. At the end of the day, bam!, she's out the door at 2:30....
I haven't reached robot levels yet.
And now... sitting in front of the computer on Sunday night at 6:15, I still am not one of those types. I detest grading tests, quizzes, and written work. Multiple choice quizzes are a waste of time because the kids could just as easily grade the quizzes and we have to go over them in class anyway. Must manage time better so I can have the students grade them. Right now I am also grading book reviews that my 8th graders wrote. Grading them is completely aggravating because most of them ignore marks/comments that I suggested upon reading their rough drafts. I don't get it... is it laziness? is it ageism (I'm one of the youngest 8th gr teachers and I honestly believe some of those kids think I do not know what I am talking about when it comes to writing, etc)? Is it not caring?
Whatever it is, it's headache-inducing. Maybe I care too much...that's probably it. For instance, when I am grading and notice 3 or 4 students in a row who did badly on the quiz, I put the folder of quizzes in my bag and ignore it...because I feel i have taught concepts well enough and failure pisses me off.
Just have to stop thinking so much, I think. Wish I could be like the teacher across the hall. She always has an immaculate desk, free of papers or reminder-notes. At the end of the day, bam!, she's out the door at 2:30....
I haven't reached robot levels yet.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Peeing, Procrastination, The Notebook
Peeing...procrastination...The Notebook...all of the dots will be connected soon.
I usually hate starting out writings with quotes; it just seems like the way a weak writer would start something out. I found this quote online and liked it though...
"Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.” (Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby)
Have a paper due for my class. I've done the observations for the paper and have tons of pages of sloppy notes to prove it. I just haven't felt like sitting done and writing the paper. I decided to go for the Masters of Reading b/c I got sick of analyzing novels and writing literary papers. In the end, I'll do no good to the world if I can analyze a Kafka book or some other piece of lit that someone else has inevitably already taken apart and put back together.
The paper for this class is annoying though. Statistics... I hate statistics. They're so boring to write about. You can't throw in any vivid adjectives where there are statistics.
Back to the subject line.
So...today...I SO did not want to start this paper. This morning I was purposely consuming massive amounts of water so as to make myself have to pee...thus making myself not be able to sit down at the computer, "hunker down," and concentrate.
At 1:oo, I finally decided to leave the house and go to the library to work on the paper. Wrote close to 7 pages but feel that I am nowhere near done. Worse, I worry that some of the 7 pages I already wrote is repetitive drivel.
When I got home, I decided to reward myself for my hard work...and eyestrain. Needed a movie that required no thought at all. Popped The Notebook into the DVD player. I just got to the scene where I always feel the need to roll my eyes.... Allie and Noah have reunited... Noah tells Allie he wrote her every day for a year and that "It wasn't over." Immediately after, he says "It still [emphasis] isn't over" and pulls her into a kiss.
Cheesiness!
Yet...I'll still watch the movie to the end...
I usually hate starting out writings with quotes; it just seems like the way a weak writer would start something out. I found this quote online and liked it though...
"Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.” (Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby)
Have a paper due for my class. I've done the observations for the paper and have tons of pages of sloppy notes to prove it. I just haven't felt like sitting done and writing the paper. I decided to go for the Masters of Reading b/c I got sick of analyzing novels and writing literary papers. In the end, I'll do no good to the world if I can analyze a Kafka book or some other piece of lit that someone else has inevitably already taken apart and put back together.
The paper for this class is annoying though. Statistics... I hate statistics. They're so boring to write about. You can't throw in any vivid adjectives where there are statistics.
Back to the subject line.
So...today...I SO did not want to start this paper. This morning I was purposely consuming massive amounts of water so as to make myself have to pee...thus making myself not be able to sit down at the computer, "hunker down," and concentrate.
At 1:oo, I finally decided to leave the house and go to the library to work on the paper. Wrote close to 7 pages but feel that I am nowhere near done. Worse, I worry that some of the 7 pages I already wrote is repetitive drivel.
When I got home, I decided to reward myself for my hard work...and eyestrain. Needed a movie that required no thought at all. Popped The Notebook into the DVD player. I just got to the scene where I always feel the need to roll my eyes.... Allie and Noah have reunited... Noah tells Allie he wrote her every day for a year and that "It wasn't over." Immediately after, he says "It still [emphasis] isn't over" and pulls her into a kiss.
Cheesiness!
Yet...I'll still watch the movie to the end...
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Death fairy is officially dead
I bought my Halloween costume a few weeks ago..."death fairy." It's made by a company called "Fairylicious." Lame! The costume has this black, "pleather"ish top, velvety purple skirt, and black wings. I also purchased the matching death tiara, black eyelashes, and fishnets. It's kind of cheesy but I thought it'd be fun.
I tried the costume on... damn, online purchases!...The costume looks bad. Others might think it looks ok but there's no way I can walk around the city, or anyplace else, and feel comfy with myself. It's too late to return it and I think that's dumb anyway...it was on sale and I CAN wear it next year...if I lose weight.
This is the mantra that I often say. I don't get why food has such a hold on me. It's not even that I eat that badly. I just eat large portions. It's ritualistic. I go the cabinet, get some almonds or other seemingly healthy snack. I get a small portion and then close the bag/container lid. 1 minute later I go back to the kitchen, go into the cabinet, and do the same process again.
I got fake nails last month and have not bitten my nails since. Maybe I need one of those Hannibal Lector face masks to prevent myself from eating.
I get so mad with myself. I don't think I am that heavy but then I try on something that looks "gigantic," and it fits me snugly. Then I feel like garbage.
My excuse right now is classes. I am taking a grad class and FINALLY am completing the coursework. I am busy. I am not one of those people who thrives on busy-ness. I can have crazy, psychotically busy days for 2 or 3 days, but not routinely. I don't understand people who can live their lives, full time, like that. Things should be balanced. I think of Jack Nicholson in The Shining...when he types "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Had my fun this weekend...movies/dinner on Friday with John. Darjeeling Limited sucked. I fell asleep. It was so slow. Good use of color and awesome soundtrack though. Fuddruckers' hamburgers rock! Saturday was a comedy show in the city. Took the bus there all by myself and met Lisa there. Felt like it was a rite of passage because the idea of traveling to the city alone freaks me out.
Now is time for work...and stopping with the petty whining over some dumb Halloween costume.
I've taken out last year's pirate costume from my closet. Think I'll have some corpse-like makeup and be a dead pirate... someone's got to counterbalance all the girls out there who will be dressed up as slut bumblebees, nurses, Maria Antoinette, referees, beergirls, and who knows what else.
I tried the costume on... damn, online purchases!...The costume looks bad. Others might think it looks ok but there's no way I can walk around the city, or anyplace else, and feel comfy with myself. It's too late to return it and I think that's dumb anyway...it was on sale and I CAN wear it next year...if I lose weight.
This is the mantra that I often say. I don't get why food has such a hold on me. It's not even that I eat that badly. I just eat large portions. It's ritualistic. I go the cabinet, get some almonds or other seemingly healthy snack. I get a small portion and then close the bag/container lid. 1 minute later I go back to the kitchen, go into the cabinet, and do the same process again.
I got fake nails last month and have not bitten my nails since. Maybe I need one of those Hannibal Lector face masks to prevent myself from eating.
I get so mad with myself. I don't think I am that heavy but then I try on something that looks "gigantic," and it fits me snugly. Then I feel like garbage.
My excuse right now is classes. I am taking a grad class and FINALLY am completing the coursework. I am busy. I am not one of those people who thrives on busy-ness. I can have crazy, psychotically busy days for 2 or 3 days, but not routinely. I don't understand people who can live their lives, full time, like that. Things should be balanced. I think of Jack Nicholson in The Shining...when he types "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Had my fun this weekend...movies/dinner on Friday with John. Darjeeling Limited sucked. I fell asleep. It was so slow. Good use of color and awesome soundtrack though. Fuddruckers' hamburgers rock! Saturday was a comedy show in the city. Took the bus there all by myself and met Lisa there. Felt like it was a rite of passage because the idea of traveling to the city alone freaks me out.
Now is time for work...and stopping with the petty whining over some dumb Halloween costume.
I've taken out last year's pirate costume from my closet. Think I'll have some corpse-like makeup and be a dead pirate... someone's got to counterbalance all the girls out there who will be dressed up as slut bumblebees, nurses, Maria Antoinette, referees, beergirls, and who knows what else.
Friday, October 26, 2007
What a Day
I am so glad this day is done...or at least that the "work-related" part of the day is done. It's past 6:00 and I just got home from work. Not a big deal to most people, but I got to work at 7. Have observations of other teachers that I have to do for grad school...thus, I lose my preps and have to do stuff after school. Am also being observed myself by the principal next week...so that whole nervousness/anxiety scenario is starting up. When he observes me, his face looks stone-cold and completely bored. I try to block him out of my view and just pretend he isn't in the room. His comments are always the same... class-management related and "Why did you pick THIS lesson? Why did you choose THOSE vocabulary words?"Annoying.
Am going out with a friend tomorrow and we made preliminary plans. Had my cell phone off at work. Got home and she had left 2 messages...both with tones like, "Call me back NOW," and an email complete with capitals. It's not like I am going to ditch her. I generally stay committed to plans once I make them. People piss me off.
My 8th graders are bastards. Luckily, it's only one class that is really horrendous. On Monday, I am taking a colleague's suggestion and giving that class BRUTALLY boring seatwork. If anyone talks or objects, out they go. Tuesday, I can start off with "Things can be how they were yesterday or they could be different...blah blah blah."
And I've been reading my students' journals and they're all so obsessed with money and being rich. I know a lot of people dream of being rich...but these kids write as if they deserve it. I don't know ...money does not solve all problems... moreso, it creates them...
Today is just a day where I feel inclined to put a temporary bumper sticker on my car... PEOPLE SUCK.
Am going out with a friend tomorrow and we made preliminary plans. Had my cell phone off at work. Got home and she had left 2 messages...both with tones like, "Call me back NOW," and an email complete with capitals. It's not like I am going to ditch her. I generally stay committed to plans once I make them. People piss me off.
My 8th graders are bastards. Luckily, it's only one class that is really horrendous. On Monday, I am taking a colleague's suggestion and giving that class BRUTALLY boring seatwork. If anyone talks or objects, out they go. Tuesday, I can start off with "Things can be how they were yesterday or they could be different...blah blah blah."
And I've been reading my students' journals and they're all so obsessed with money and being rich. I know a lot of people dream of being rich...but these kids write as if they deserve it. I don't know ...money does not solve all problems... moreso, it creates them...
Today is just a day where I feel inclined to put a temporary bumper sticker on my car... PEOPLE SUCK.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Gyno Talk
John makes fun of me for going to Planned Parenthood. I guess the "gist" of it is that he thinks that at my age I should go to a real gynocologist of my own. I did try that a few years ago, in fact. The lady made feel comfortable and at her office I got the "luxury" of a robe-like piece of clothing instead of a HUGE paper towel/loincloth. Also, the office was painted nicely and felt overly cozy.
Then the doctor changed the insurance she accepted; mine was no longer accepted.
So back to Planned Parenthood.
I really have no "issue" with going there. And I feel comfortable asking questions because I know the doctors and nurses there have heard everything. They should really collaborate and write some amusing memoir; something with a title like Pap Talk.
Anyway, so I just got off the phone with Planned Parenthood...have to schedule my annual. It's so annoying and I hate it, but it's only once a year so I guess it's not too bad. And of course I hate it---who would like it?
But the receptionist made me laugh. After scheduling my appointment, she said, "Ok, we'll see you then. And nothing in your vagina for 24 hours."
Hilarious.
Then the doctor changed the insurance she accepted; mine was no longer accepted.
So back to Planned Parenthood.
I really have no "issue" with going there. And I feel comfortable asking questions because I know the doctors and nurses there have heard everything. They should really collaborate and write some amusing memoir; something with a title like Pap Talk.
Anyway, so I just got off the phone with Planned Parenthood...have to schedule my annual. It's so annoying and I hate it, but it's only once a year so I guess it's not too bad. And of course I hate it---who would like it?
But the receptionist made me laugh. After scheduling my appointment, she said, "Ok, we'll see you then. And nothing in your vagina for 24 hours."
Hilarious.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Angst and Autumn
Autumn's mad
She wants to come on through
but is stopped by relentless summer...
I scribbled that semi-teen-angsty "ditty" on a sheet of paper while driving to class on Thursday night. Torrential rain was falling---and of course, people were driving like idiots [mainly the SUV drivers]. Thursday felt like autumn had finally arrived. The temperatures were finally near normal and it was as if the rainstorm's intent was to wash away any remnants of summer.
Now it's Saturday night and it's actually cold outside. Now shall begin my adolescent behavior---refusing to wear a coat or jacket until it is neccessary; for instance, if snow is on the ground. I detest coats and jackets. They're so uncomfortable. Hoodies are my friends.
Hopefully, there will be an official frost soon. John and I went apple picking last Wednesday. We were so excited to go. I came home quickly, at 2:30ish... we drove over to Riamede Farm and there was hardly anyone there. We had the place to ourselves. Most of the apples we like weren't ready to be picked though. Plus, it felt like 90 degrees outside. The whole experience was very anti-climactic.
As soon as the first frost arrives, the Mutsu apples will be ready. These are our faves. They're GIANT apples... think along the lines of genetic mutations.
A website (Nature Hills) describes it as follows: The Mutsu Apple has a moderately sweet flavor with firm, juicy white flesh. Its skin color is a yellowish green with an orange blush. The Mutsu apple is also known as Crispin. This apple is vigorous, fairly early, and the fruit is large and oblong shaped. It is excellent for fresh eating, sauces, pies, and baking. This apple stores and keeps well.
Sounds amazing, right? The description also sounds partly pornographic. Hmm.
She wants to come on through
but is stopped by relentless summer...
I scribbled that semi-teen-angsty "ditty" on a sheet of paper while driving to class on Thursday night. Torrential rain was falling---and of course, people were driving like idiots [mainly the SUV drivers]. Thursday felt like autumn had finally arrived. The temperatures were finally near normal and it was as if the rainstorm's intent was to wash away any remnants of summer.
Now it's Saturday night and it's actually cold outside. Now shall begin my adolescent behavior---refusing to wear a coat or jacket until it is neccessary; for instance, if snow is on the ground. I detest coats and jackets. They're so uncomfortable. Hoodies are my friends.
Hopefully, there will be an official frost soon. John and I went apple picking last Wednesday. We were so excited to go. I came home quickly, at 2:30ish... we drove over to Riamede Farm and there was hardly anyone there. We had the place to ourselves. Most of the apples we like weren't ready to be picked though. Plus, it felt like 90 degrees outside. The whole experience was very anti-climactic.
As soon as the first frost arrives, the Mutsu apples will be ready. These are our faves. They're GIANT apples... think along the lines of genetic mutations.
A website (Nature Hills) describes it as follows: The Mutsu Apple has a moderately sweet flavor with firm, juicy white flesh. Its skin color is a yellowish green with an orange blush. The Mutsu apple is also known as Crispin. This apple is vigorous, fairly early, and the fruit is large and oblong shaped. It is excellent for fresh eating, sauces, pies, and baking. This apple stores and keeps well.
Sounds amazing, right? The description also sounds partly pornographic. Hmm.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Ride the Wind
"Ride the Wind" is absolutely my favorite song by Poison. It's cheesy and attempts to discuss motorcycle riding in a "deep" context. Sample lyric: "Hearts of fire/ Streets of stone/
Modern warriors/ Saddle iron horses of chrome." You get my point.
Today Jaime and I trekked into NYC to go bikeriding in Central Park. Central Park amazes me because it is just so huge. Secondly, you feel like you're simultaneously "in" the city, but also "out" of the city, in some exotic world where urban life and nature mesh together. We rode bikes around and me, being the scaredycat I am, kept riding the brakes whenever we'd approach a steep hill. There was a wedding in progress at one of the junctures we crossed--some lady had on a navy blue and white striped blazer (nautical theme...with a gold anchor embroidered on one of the front pockets), LOOSE black leather pants, and navy blue shoes. Odd.
We saw some old people gathered on a bench, reading through the coupons and foodstore advertisements in the Sunday paper.
One performer was under the bridge. He was dressed in this pseudo-Native American outfit and played the violin while singing in a mournful voice.
There was a juggler too...and someone painted up as the Statue of Liberty.
It was such a beautiful day out and as I rode my bike around, I could feel the wind dance across my face. This is such a lame comparison but I kind of felt like the Pee Wee Herman character in Pee Wee's Big Adventure---just riding around on a bike, slowly riding along, with a stupid, gleeful expression on my face.... minus the future impending porn theatre/masturbation charges.
The only unpleasant aspect of today was at the end of our biketrip. We were putting the bikes into the car and while taking the front tire off, my thumbnail came off. Fake nails suck. Now I see why "girly girls" never seem to do sports, heavy manual labor, etc... all I did was pull a lever on the side of the tire and the nail popped off. It quickly danced across the NYC sidewalk, only to be rescued by me and tucked away in my wallet. Argh.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Back to my "roots"
I was only 6 years old when my Dad died, so I don't remember all too much about him. I remember that he had a bunch of colorful glass paperweights. I remember a thick-yarned knit cap he used to wear. I remember when he taught me how to draw fluffy clouds.
My mom has told me stories about how my dad used to go to garage sales all the time. When he passed away, she said the basement was FILLED with his stuff. She proceeded to pay someone money to haul all the stuff away. In retrospect, that kind of pisses me off---what could I have done back then? I didnt even understand what was happening.
I like to think that even though he wasn't around when I was growing up, that certain qualities of my dad have been passed down to me...like... my current fondness for glass paperweights... and my enjoyment of garage sales and fleamarkets.
I used to go to garage sales all the time in high school. I'd buy stupid stuff. Case in point: I remember buying a felt beet... I hung it on my bedroom wall. And I was obsessed with bright green and pink paisley/60s prints. The garage sale habit ended after college. This apartment is small enough as it is---no need to bring in more clutter---and the felt beet has long been gone.
Today, on a whim, I went to this rummage sale @ a local church. It SUCKED...random junk in boxes, unlabeled. I drove around for awhile and went to a few more garage sales. I love it because it's a sneak peek into someone's home and life. At this one house, there were a bunch of CDs like Offspring, Collective Soul, Green Day, etc. I guessed they had to belong to someone my age...I had most of those CDs in high school. At another house, I got to talking to the owner, this older and feisty lady, and she was telling me most of the stuff for sale at her house was stuff she got at other garage sales. The piles of STUFF on her lawn seemed endless.
I hate the garage sales where nothing has a price on it. Argh.
I'm home now and I was pretty conservative with my purchases... the buy of the day? Definitely these tacky, gold (spray painted?) eagle bookends :)
Also...I found this seashell-themed stationary set that I used to have when I was younger. I knew it was the same one b/c the company was Olympia. When I was 10 or 11, I used to go door-to-door selling stuff from Olympia sales club: wrapping paper, stationary, knickknacks, etc. You'd win prizes for selling a certain amount. It was like being Willie Loman, but the 10 year old version.
Being a kid now sucks... you're not "allowed" to sell door-to-door b/c of possible "bad people." Essentially, most of us are good people...or so I like to think.
My mom has told me stories about how my dad used to go to garage sales all the time. When he passed away, she said the basement was FILLED with his stuff. She proceeded to pay someone money to haul all the stuff away. In retrospect, that kind of pisses me off---what could I have done back then? I didnt even understand what was happening.
I like to think that even though he wasn't around when I was growing up, that certain qualities of my dad have been passed down to me...like... my current fondness for glass paperweights... and my enjoyment of garage sales and fleamarkets.
I used to go to garage sales all the time in high school. I'd buy stupid stuff. Case in point: I remember buying a felt beet... I hung it on my bedroom wall. And I was obsessed with bright green and pink paisley/60s prints. The garage sale habit ended after college. This apartment is small enough as it is---no need to bring in more clutter---and the felt beet has long been gone.
Today, on a whim, I went to this rummage sale @ a local church. It SUCKED...random junk in boxes, unlabeled. I drove around for awhile and went to a few more garage sales. I love it because it's a sneak peek into someone's home and life. At this one house, there were a bunch of CDs like Offspring, Collective Soul, Green Day, etc. I guessed they had to belong to someone my age...I had most of those CDs in high school. At another house, I got to talking to the owner, this older and feisty lady, and she was telling me most of the stuff for sale at her house was stuff she got at other garage sales. The piles of STUFF on her lawn seemed endless.
I hate the garage sales where nothing has a price on it. Argh.
I'm home now and I was pretty conservative with my purchases... the buy of the day? Definitely these tacky, gold (spray painted?) eagle bookends :)
Also...I found this seashell-themed stationary set that I used to have when I was younger. I knew it was the same one b/c the company was Olympia. When I was 10 or 11, I used to go door-to-door selling stuff from Olympia sales club: wrapping paper, stationary, knickknacks, etc. You'd win prizes for selling a certain amount. It was like being Willie Loman, but the 10 year old version.
Being a kid now sucks... you're not "allowed" to sell door-to-door b/c of possible "bad people." Essentially, most of us are good people...or so I like to think.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Hell Must've Frozen Over and Maybe Now Pigs Can Fly Too
First, I got highlights to my hair in the summer. This seemed MONUMENTAL to most people who know me because I am very low-maintenance. The highlights weren't a big deal though; Amy is a hairdresser and finally got me to cave in and change my hair. Before the highlights, the last time I dyed my hair was when I used Sun-In in 8th grade and turned a dark brown head of hair into orange.
Yesterday, I entered the dark side. I got fake nails.
I'm turning into a girly-girl... well, as girly-girl as I am capable of.
The thing is, I've always bitten my nails. I don't ever do it in front of other people (b/c I know it's a gross habit), but I'll bite my nails if I am nervous or bored. My mom used to say I'd never get a boyfriend because of my nails---- no one's ever complained. My grandma used to say,"You'll never get a job with nails like those." Um, job? Check.
The other day at the library, a patron said something to me. He said that I'm a "beeewww-tiful" girl and "Why you bite your nails?" I don't know... it got to me.
So yesterday I went to the salon and got them put on. The lady who did my nails said I was "special," and not in a complimentary way. I had to get gel nails..whatever those are...because my nails (more classifiable as "nubs" ) are so weak and acrylics wouldn't stay on.
At this point,
1] I HATE having fake nails...I have this fear that they will fall off and I won't have a tube of crazy glue handy. And why should you have to walk around fearing that you won't have the necessary pseudo-permanent adherence when you need it?
2] Having these nails is a pain in the ass. It takes 2x as long to button shirts, open things, put on jewelry, etc.
3] I'd rather stop biting my nails altogether than pay ripoff amounts at the salon...and instead spend my money on books and CDs.
I once had fake nails in high school. A friend put them on for me. On the walk home from her house, I began ripping them off.
If I didn't pay for these nails, they'd be in the garbage now too.
These nails are temporary... but I swear...I'll never bite my nails again...
Yesterday, I entered the dark side. I got fake nails.
I'm turning into a girly-girl... well, as girly-girl as I am capable of.
The thing is, I've always bitten my nails. I don't ever do it in front of other people (b/c I know it's a gross habit), but I'll bite my nails if I am nervous or bored. My mom used to say I'd never get a boyfriend because of my nails---- no one's ever complained. My grandma used to say,"You'll never get a job with nails like those." Um, job? Check.
The other day at the library, a patron said something to me. He said that I'm a "beeewww-tiful" girl and "Why you bite your nails?" I don't know... it got to me.
So yesterday I went to the salon and got them put on. The lady who did my nails said I was "special," and not in a complimentary way. I had to get gel nails..whatever those are...because my nails (more classifiable as "nubs" ) are so weak and acrylics wouldn't stay on.
At this point,
1] I HATE having fake nails...I have this fear that they will fall off and I won't have a tube of crazy glue handy. And why should you have to walk around fearing that you won't have the necessary pseudo-permanent adherence when you need it?
2] Having these nails is a pain in the ass. It takes 2x as long to button shirts, open things, put on jewelry, etc.
3] I'd rather stop biting my nails altogether than pay ripoff amounts at the salon...and instead spend my money on books and CDs.
I once had fake nails in high school. A friend put them on for me. On the walk home from her house, I began ripping them off.
If I didn't pay for these nails, they'd be in the garbage now too.
These nails are temporary... but I swear...I'll never bite my nails again...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Deli, deli, deli!
So annoying. I keep losing stuff. I somehow lost my Montclair parking hangtag, despite the fact that the hangtag is ALWAYS in my car. I somehow lost my student ID too. I don't know...sometimes I am ditzy when it comes to putting things in their right spot. The hangtag will probably surface under the sofa and the ID card will probably be in under the pseudo-dining room table.
Just got back from the foodstore. The deli area cracks me up. If I'm ever feeling down, I think I will simply drive over to a local supermarket and go in the deli section, waiting on line. It's amusing.
I LOVE the people who request samples. "Hmm, I'd like the swiss. Can I try some?" It's generally always old people or fat people that make this request. I guess what I think is amusing is that someone would need to taste the deli meats. Frankly, unless you're getting Snowball turkey (ick...how can you eat something that has an sexually disgusting meaning in the Urban dictionary?), there's not that much difference with deli meats.
Tonight, there was this "little guy" on the deli line. He kept getting 1/4 lb of this, 1/2 lb of that, 1/4 lb of this. He put the salami in the shopping cart and his lady [a GIANT compared to him] exclaimed, "You can't put that there. The bananas will smell like meat." I had a smile across my face. People are so odd.
Then there's the crazy people who request the deli people to slice the meats thinner and THINNER---these requests usually occur after the person has had 5 or 6 samples of the meat.
It's just the little, idiosyncratic things that people do that make me laugh---the type of things that arise out of the most seemingly boring places.
Just got back from the foodstore. The deli area cracks me up. If I'm ever feeling down, I think I will simply drive over to a local supermarket and go in the deli section, waiting on line. It's amusing.
I LOVE the people who request samples. "Hmm, I'd like the swiss. Can I try some?" It's generally always old people or fat people that make this request. I guess what I think is amusing is that someone would need to taste the deli meats. Frankly, unless you're getting Snowball turkey (ick...how can you eat something that has an sexually disgusting meaning in the Urban dictionary?), there's not that much difference with deli meats.
Tonight, there was this "little guy" on the deli line. He kept getting 1/4 lb of this, 1/2 lb of that, 1/4 lb of this. He put the salami in the shopping cart and his lady [a GIANT compared to him] exclaimed, "You can't put that there. The bananas will smell like meat." I had a smile across my face. People are so odd.
Then there's the crazy people who request the deli people to slice the meats thinner and THINNER---these requests usually occur after the person has had 5 or 6 samples of the meat.
It's just the little, idiosyncratic things that people do that make me laugh---the type of things that arise out of the most seemingly boring places.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Me: the posh, Euro-trash version
We got the latest issue of Radar magazine...The magazine is devoted to pop culture junk. I'd say it's comparable to People or US Weekly, but I feel that it is slightly more "educational" and "intelligent" than those magazines.
Anyway, Posh Spice...oh, sorry...Victoria Beckham...was on the cover with her hubby. 1] I generally am not attracted to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed "hunky" type but David Beckham is HOT. 2] Victoria Beckham looks alien-esque. Her breasts are ridiculously large, in contrast with the rest of her body. Her hair is curved toward her face as if it is controlled by some kind of mechanical device. Also, her head is large. And she always has a stupid look on her face.
So...anyway...
We have a wedding to go to at the end of the month. Instead of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," I feel like my mantra should be, "Always a wedding guest, NEVER a bridesmaid." I've been to so many weddings in the past 3 years. I'm happy for friends/family and all but weddings are a bit annoying. Getting dressed up is fun but usually involves spending $$$; I'd rather buy a bunch of books and CDs. Secondly, the whole monetary wedding gift is so expensive. It's a large chunk out of your wallet if you have a few weddings within a year.
I pray that NO ONE ever asks me to be a bridesmaid. I won't be offended. I'll be thankful b/c it seems like a pain in the ass.
Ok, wedding, wedding.
We were down in AC for John's sister's birthday. The whole family went down there... it wasn't well-planned and we didn't do all that much except for eating fattening food. I did partake in two bubble baths with scorching hot water, so that was nice.
So we went to the outlets in AC and, on a whim, went into the BCBG store. Everyone that worked there was dressed in black and had super stylish hair. It reminded me of that SNL skit where Will Ferrell and co. work in a high fashion store- it's the cell phone skit.
Got some help trying on dresses but nothing seemed good. The one guy kept bringing me size 6s and 8s and when I would say, I'm nowhere near a size 6 ot 8," he'd act surprised and be like, "No way!" PLEASE...I'm not putting myself down...I'm a size 12 and I'm ok with that. Any idiot could look at me and know I am not a size 6.
Ok... "let me make this long story short." So I tried on several dresses. One was awesome but super casual. Then...the glitzy dress. It has empire waist, flows OUT instead of being clingy, and is an "adventurous" pale chocolate color. You have to understand, when I dress up I ALWAYS take refuge in the color black. Also, this dress has beading work by the empire waist.
Contemplated buying it, had them put it on hold for me, then walked around a bit more. 20 minutes later, I bought the dress. When I told John and his cousin where I got the dress, his cousin said, "That store is Euro-trash." Well, then,....I guess I'm Euro-Trash :)
Anyway, Posh Spice...oh, sorry...Victoria Beckham...was on the cover with her hubby. 1] I generally am not attracted to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed "hunky" type but David Beckham is HOT. 2] Victoria Beckham looks alien-esque. Her breasts are ridiculously large, in contrast with the rest of her body. Her hair is curved toward her face as if it is controlled by some kind of mechanical device. Also, her head is large. And she always has a stupid look on her face.
So...anyway...
We have a wedding to go to at the end of the month. Instead of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," I feel like my mantra should be, "Always a wedding guest, NEVER a bridesmaid." I've been to so many weddings in the past 3 years. I'm happy for friends/family and all but weddings are a bit annoying. Getting dressed up is fun but usually involves spending $$$; I'd rather buy a bunch of books and CDs. Secondly, the whole monetary wedding gift is so expensive. It's a large chunk out of your wallet if you have a few weddings within a year.
I pray that NO ONE ever asks me to be a bridesmaid. I won't be offended. I'll be thankful b/c it seems like a pain in the ass.
Ok, wedding, wedding.
We were down in AC for John's sister's birthday. The whole family went down there... it wasn't well-planned and we didn't do all that much except for eating fattening food. I did partake in two bubble baths with scorching hot water, so that was nice.
So we went to the outlets in AC and, on a whim, went into the BCBG store. Everyone that worked there was dressed in black and had super stylish hair. It reminded me of that SNL skit where Will Ferrell and co. work in a high fashion store- it's the cell phone skit.
Got some help trying on dresses but nothing seemed good. The one guy kept bringing me size 6s and 8s and when I would say, I'm nowhere near a size 6 ot 8," he'd act surprised and be like, "No way!" PLEASE...I'm not putting myself down...I'm a size 12 and I'm ok with that. Any idiot could look at me and know I am not a size 6.
Ok... "let me make this long story short." So I tried on several dresses. One was awesome but super casual. Then...the glitzy dress. It has empire waist, flows OUT instead of being clingy, and is an "adventurous" pale chocolate color. You have to understand, when I dress up I ALWAYS take refuge in the color black. Also, this dress has beading work by the empire waist.
Contemplated buying it, had them put it on hold for me, then walked around a bit more. 20 minutes later, I bought the dress. When I told John and his cousin where I got the dress, his cousin said, "That store is Euro-trash." Well, then,....I guess I'm Euro-Trash :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
3 day work weeks..how it should be
This 3-day workweek is fabulous...it's times like these that I am thankful I don't live in the MidWest or those other "square-shaped" states. Jersey is diverse... and because of that diversity...schools close for more holidays...Or at least my school closes... Because of Rosh Hashanah, we got this Thursday and Friday off.
3 day workweeks are fabulous. Why can't work be like this all the time?
I just feel so full of energy this morning...and I am restored back to life b/c our phone is working again too. There's been this technology stormcloud hovering over my head... anything technological has just been breaking on me lately. The other day our phone just died. The funniest thing was calling the phone company and hearing the customer service rep read from a sheet of paper in a monotone voice: "Yes, ma'am, I understand your disappointment at not having a phone line. Please listen and I can assist you with testing the line and seeing if the connection is bad." She also proceeded to tell me to "make sure" everything was plugged in because maybe that was the problem. Argh.
But now this morning the phone is working again.... it wasnt really like I missed it... but I do like the feel of a "house phone" against my ear better than the feel of a cell phone.
Am SO content with this weather...no more gross 100% humidity days and air that you could "cut with a knife." What a stupid cliche.
It's September and even though it is back-to-school time, fun stuff is on the way....apple picking [last year John and I bought 50 pounds of apples...and ate them ALL...and did NOT make apple pie or anything...just regular apple-eating...that's how we roll]. Soon the leaves will be changing and it will be sweater time... I LOVE sweaters... and Halloween is just around the corner. Once again, I face the conflict of only seeing sluttified costumes online. Might be a butterfly. VERY girly costume, I know, but ever since Amy highlighted my hair...I've felt more and more like a girly-girl everyday.
3 day workweeks are fabulous. Why can't work be like this all the time?
I just feel so full of energy this morning...and I am restored back to life b/c our phone is working again too. There's been this technology stormcloud hovering over my head... anything technological has just been breaking on me lately. The other day our phone just died. The funniest thing was calling the phone company and hearing the customer service rep read from a sheet of paper in a monotone voice: "Yes, ma'am, I understand your disappointment at not having a phone line. Please listen and I can assist you with testing the line and seeing if the connection is bad." She also proceeded to tell me to "make sure" everything was plugged in because maybe that was the problem. Argh.
But now this morning the phone is working again.... it wasnt really like I missed it... but I do like the feel of a "house phone" against my ear better than the feel of a cell phone.
Am SO content with this weather...no more gross 100% humidity days and air that you could "cut with a knife." What a stupid cliche.
It's September and even though it is back-to-school time, fun stuff is on the way....apple picking [last year John and I bought 50 pounds of apples...and ate them ALL...and did NOT make apple pie or anything...just regular apple-eating...that's how we roll]. Soon the leaves will be changing and it will be sweater time... I LOVE sweaters... and Halloween is just around the corner. Once again, I face the conflict of only seeing sluttified costumes online. Might be a butterfly. VERY girly costume, I know, but ever since Amy highlighted my hair...I've felt more and more like a girly-girl everyday.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Preppin' and Steppin'
Less than 12 hours until I see the "little brats" again. That's what a member of our school's construction crew referred to the students as. Can't say I completely disagree. Looked over my class lists and didn't see any kids that I am completely dreading to have in class. Do have "B." again... he is this "portly" child who is completely lazy. Which came first, the portliness or the laziness, I ask? His handwriting is horrible and there seems to be some motor issues involved, but I just want to chalk it up to obesity and laziness ;-) I also have the "exhibitionist" in class...again. I wasn't graced with his presence in 7th grade, but as an 8th grader, he is enrolled in my class. Hopefully, I won't have to send him to the nurse again in order for her to tell him to stop rubbing himself during class. If I have to send him out again this year, I think I will just flip and be like, "Get the fuck out, now."
So, I am nervous, moreso anxious, about starting back to school tomorrow. The classroom is ready and I think I made the classroom space more logical than ever. Good feng shui... maybe. I have seating charts and a few extra things to do before tomorrow but instead of doing them after in-service today, I came home and relaxed a bit. Then went to the first step class for the new session. The instructor was obsessed with making us do this one particular step pattern that was hellish. She was walking around and "monitoring," and commanding us like a drill sergeant. Sadistic people should think of careers as exercise instructors.
After step, headed to the shoestore and to Marshalls...ANYTHING to not have to think about tomorrow. It's not that I am completely dreading work. Year 6 shouldn't be too bad... it's just getting back into the whole grind. I like the unstructured element of my summers. Now it's back to waking up early, making lunch, wearing "nice" clothes, grading quizzes/responses, going to faculty meetings, calling parents...argh.
But...looking on the bright side, next week's only a 3-day week... and it's payday too!
So, I am nervous, moreso anxious, about starting back to school tomorrow. The classroom is ready and I think I made the classroom space more logical than ever. Good feng shui... maybe. I have seating charts and a few extra things to do before tomorrow but instead of doing them after in-service today, I came home and relaxed a bit. Then went to the first step class for the new session. The instructor was obsessed with making us do this one particular step pattern that was hellish. She was walking around and "monitoring," and commanding us like a drill sergeant. Sadistic people should think of careers as exercise instructors.
After step, headed to the shoestore and to Marshalls...ANYTHING to not have to think about tomorrow. It's not that I am completely dreading work. Year 6 shouldn't be too bad... it's just getting back into the whole grind. I like the unstructured element of my summers. Now it's back to waking up early, making lunch, wearing "nice" clothes, grading quizzes/responses, going to faculty meetings, calling parents...argh.
But...looking on the bright side, next week's only a 3-day week... and it's payday too!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Back to school...
I can't EVER complain about having summer vacation. I thought about this today as I drove home in 5:00 traffic. Peering in other car windows (because why should I keep my eye on the road?), I noticed tons of sad/pissed off/annoyed faces. Color is washed from people's complexions and they just sit, stone-faced, waiting for the next traffic light to change or the next car lane to move a bit faster. Working 9-5 has to SUCK...especially during summertime when there's beautiful weather.
I keep hearing people say, "The summer went so fast; I can't believe it's over." People always make statements like that---statements about how quickly time passes. Come October, people will comment, "I can't believe how the weather has changed." Come November, you'll hear "Can you believe it is already November? Before you know it, it'll be Christmas."
I feel like summer passed at just the right pace...not super fast, but certainly not at snail's rate slowness either.
So, summer wrap up. Went to Ocean City for the last week of June. Enjoyed some beach time and pigged out on every indulgence known to man. Spent July taking a summer class which, for the most part, was "painless." Went to the beach 2 more times, all day and for Sunday night movies-on-the-beach. Went to see Poison! For August, went to the beach 2 more times. Saw Lisa for the first time in a full year and things were just like they always were---good times. Went karaoking at a gay bar---rite of passage. Read a few books. Worked part-time at the library. Went to the Def Leppard concert...the last "real" tailgating extravaganza before the whole Ozzfest arrests/ two deaths debacle. If PNC gets rid of the tailgating concept altogether, I will be so pissed. In between these "big events," was more relaxation.
It was a good, relaxing summer. I wish I had gone to the beach more though. I swear, when I lived in Toms River, I never took advantage of being so close to the beach. Now that I am up in North Jersey, I miss it so much...
Feel semi-ready for next week. I can't believe it is my 6th year in the same teaching position! That makes me feel a lot more comfortable. While I am always adapting lesson plans/ideas, it's good to KNOW the material I am teaching and have past experiences with ideas on how I will teach that material. This year, I am thinking about having a class reading blog. I don't want it to be a graded activity...just an arena where students can post comments on favorite books, movie adaptations, comment on movie adaptations, songs, etc. Also might incorporate Thornton Wilder's Our Town into the Reading course. Am looking into new teen-ish books to add to my course. Am not exactly excited about starting work again...I like sitting around, reading, and sleeping in...but if I have to do something, teaching works for me.
Don't plan on sitting in benny traffic this weekend but next weekend... I think I will make a beach trek. Gotta keep up with the tan:)
I keep hearing people say, "The summer went so fast; I can't believe it's over." People always make statements like that---statements about how quickly time passes. Come October, people will comment, "I can't believe how the weather has changed." Come November, you'll hear "Can you believe it is already November? Before you know it, it'll be Christmas."
I feel like summer passed at just the right pace...not super fast, but certainly not at snail's rate slowness either.
So, summer wrap up. Went to Ocean City for the last week of June. Enjoyed some beach time and pigged out on every indulgence known to man. Spent July taking a summer class which, for the most part, was "painless." Went to the beach 2 more times, all day and for Sunday night movies-on-the-beach. Went to see Poison! For August, went to the beach 2 more times. Saw Lisa for the first time in a full year and things were just like they always were---good times. Went karaoking at a gay bar---rite of passage. Read a few books. Worked part-time at the library. Went to the Def Leppard concert...the last "real" tailgating extravaganza before the whole Ozzfest arrests/ two deaths debacle. If PNC gets rid of the tailgating concept altogether, I will be so pissed. In between these "big events," was more relaxation.
It was a good, relaxing summer. I wish I had gone to the beach more though. I swear, when I lived in Toms River, I never took advantage of being so close to the beach. Now that I am up in North Jersey, I miss it so much...
Feel semi-ready for next week. I can't believe it is my 6th year in the same teaching position! That makes me feel a lot more comfortable. While I am always adapting lesson plans/ideas, it's good to KNOW the material I am teaching and have past experiences with ideas on how I will teach that material. This year, I am thinking about having a class reading blog. I don't want it to be a graded activity...just an arena where students can post comments on favorite books, movie adaptations, comment on movie adaptations, songs, etc. Also might incorporate Thornton Wilder's Our Town into the Reading course. Am looking into new teen-ish books to add to my course. Am not exactly excited about starting work again...I like sitting around, reading, and sleeping in...but if I have to do something, teaching works for me.
Don't plan on sitting in benny traffic this weekend but next weekend... I think I will make a beach trek. Gotta keep up with the tan:)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Warcraft Ben
Before delving into Warcraft Ben, let me just say that E! channel is playing Pleasantville for probably the 10th time this week. I LOVE this movie....
Warcraft Ben has been a "fixture" at the library where I work for over a week---it's official. Last Monday night, during my 5-8pm shift, I noticed him. The remainder of the week he came into the library for hours on end. It was bizarre---I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and so would Warcraft Ben. Sitting at a table smack dab in the middle of the library, hovered over his computer, eyes squinted to the screen, face contorted into a look of intensity. He had greyish crazy hair---think Albert Einstein. He had greyish crazy hair, but this week he got a haircut and looks less wacky and even "handsome." He's young...I can't pinpoint the age though; I'm horrible at that. Not young as in 20s, but young as in he has grey hair but isnt 40+. Maybe mid 30s. Wow, I guess I can tell I am getting older if mid 30s if I easily classify mid 30s as young. He usually has on a dress shirt and khakis, as well as the type of blazer or jacket that a university professor would wear.
Last week, toward the end of the week, I finally got a glimpse of what he was so engrossed in. I saw a colorful moving screen, chatting at the bottom of the screen, and ... recognized it as Warcraft. Whereas I previously thought he was a weirdo, I now had some sort of perspective on him. John plays Warcraft and is on the computer ALL the time. I, in a smartass way, asked, "Can't you just play for an hour and then stop?" He went into a diatribe on how the game is played in real-world-time and just because you stop playing doesn't the game stops. I guess I can relate...kind of...despite the fact that it was released in the early 90s, I still am quite obsessed with Tetris. I play it on John's DS Lite. At this point, I've destroyed the DS Lite and as of yesterday it wasnt working. I could play Tetris on the Gamecube but for some insane reason, I quite enjoy ruining my eyesight on the 4" x 4" screen.
Back to Ben.
Saw him again today. The guy is totally nice and "normal" with the exception of the fact that he comes to the library in work clothes and is playing Warcraft all day. Can't figure it out. Skipping out from work to go to library and play Warcraft? Doesnt make sense. Playing Warcraft at library to hide addiction from girlfriend? Maybe...
Anyway, the guy fascinates me. Today someone sneezed and amidst the SILENCE of the library, Warcraft Ben said "Bless you," loudly. When he left tonight ...at closing time...with the rest of the staff...he got into a bright red Acura sporty car. Weird. I would've taken him for a Corolla or Prius type of guy.
And...his name isn't really Ben. Just my name for him. I always envision Benjamins as having curly hair... and just being calm, introverted types. So until his real name is exposed, he shall remain as Warcraft Ben.
Warcraft Ben has been a "fixture" at the library where I work for over a week---it's official. Last Monday night, during my 5-8pm shift, I noticed him. The remainder of the week he came into the library for hours on end. It was bizarre---I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and so would Warcraft Ben. Sitting at a table smack dab in the middle of the library, hovered over his computer, eyes squinted to the screen, face contorted into a look of intensity. He had greyish crazy hair---think Albert Einstein. He had greyish crazy hair, but this week he got a haircut and looks less wacky and even "handsome." He's young...I can't pinpoint the age though; I'm horrible at that. Not young as in 20s, but young as in he has grey hair but isnt 40+. Maybe mid 30s. Wow, I guess I can tell I am getting older if mid 30s if I easily classify mid 30s as young. He usually has on a dress shirt and khakis, as well as the type of blazer or jacket that a university professor would wear.
Last week, toward the end of the week, I finally got a glimpse of what he was so engrossed in. I saw a colorful moving screen, chatting at the bottom of the screen, and ... recognized it as Warcraft. Whereas I previously thought he was a weirdo, I now had some sort of perspective on him. John plays Warcraft and is on the computer ALL the time. I, in a smartass way, asked, "Can't you just play for an hour and then stop?" He went into a diatribe on how the game is played in real-world-time and just because you stop playing doesn't the game stops. I guess I can relate...kind of...despite the fact that it was released in the early 90s, I still am quite obsessed with Tetris. I play it on John's DS Lite. At this point, I've destroyed the DS Lite and as of yesterday it wasnt working. I could play Tetris on the Gamecube but for some insane reason, I quite enjoy ruining my eyesight on the 4" x 4" screen.
Back to Ben.
Saw him again today. The guy is totally nice and "normal" with the exception of the fact that he comes to the library in work clothes and is playing Warcraft all day. Can't figure it out. Skipping out from work to go to library and play Warcraft? Doesnt make sense. Playing Warcraft at library to hide addiction from girlfriend? Maybe...
Anyway, the guy fascinates me. Today someone sneezed and amidst the SILENCE of the library, Warcraft Ben said "Bless you," loudly. When he left tonight ...at closing time...with the rest of the staff...he got into a bright red Acura sporty car. Weird. I would've taken him for a Corolla or Prius type of guy.
And...his name isn't really Ben. Just my name for him. I always envision Benjamins as having curly hair... and just being calm, introverted types. So until his real name is exposed, he shall remain as Warcraft Ben.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
No time, there's never any time
Quick pop-culture question. Who uttered these "famous" lines:
" No time/ There's never any time!/ I don't have time to study/ I''ll never get into Stanford/
I'll let everyone down/ I'm so confused."
An even bigger hint is here:
Damn, I love Saved by the Bell. I feel so bad for kids today. They don't have any fun, cheesy "teen" shows to watch. All that's on now is Laguna Beach, My Sweet 16, and other crap.
It's getting down to the end of summer now. One week left until we have our in-service days. 2 in-service days and then the kids come back on Thursday and Friday. Just ordered a bunch of cheesy (but only semi-cheesy) posters and bookmarks online. Am beginning to update my course outline and get other teaching materials ready.
I would never complain about not having enough time-- 2 months+ seems "sufficient." I just feel like I didn't get that much done this summer. I guess that's kind of the point of summer, relaxing and having a good time. I did work a little bit and took a summer class, so I guess that is accomplishment of some sort. I just can't believe that this time next week I will have to wake up early and get back into the whole Monday-Friday grind.
So I guess what I'm saying is that in times like these, I sometimes do "connect" with SBTB's Jessie Spano... even with the whole caffeine addiction thing. I'm not a coffee drinker so in the mornings I sometimes "rev" up with caffeine pills... A lame addiction indeed. This summer, however, I was classy and got into drinking Red Bull... I'll have to stock up for next week.
" No time/ There's never any time!/ I don't have time to study/ I''ll never get into Stanford/
I'll let everyone down/ I'm so confused."
An even bigger hint is here:
Damn, I love Saved by the Bell. I feel so bad for kids today. They don't have any fun, cheesy "teen" shows to watch. All that's on now is Laguna Beach, My Sweet 16, and other crap.
It's getting down to the end of summer now. One week left until we have our in-service days. 2 in-service days and then the kids come back on Thursday and Friday. Just ordered a bunch of cheesy (but only semi-cheesy) posters and bookmarks online. Am beginning to update my course outline and get other teaching materials ready.
I would never complain about not having enough time-- 2 months+ seems "sufficient." I just feel like I didn't get that much done this summer. I guess that's kind of the point of summer, relaxing and having a good time. I did work a little bit and took a summer class, so I guess that is accomplishment of some sort. I just can't believe that this time next week I will have to wake up early and get back into the whole Monday-Friday grind.
So I guess what I'm saying is that in times like these, I sometimes do "connect" with SBTB's Jessie Spano... even with the whole caffeine addiction thing. I'm not a coffee drinker so in the mornings I sometimes "rev" up with caffeine pills... A lame addiction indeed. This summer, however, I was classy and got into drinking Red Bull... I'll have to stock up for next week.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
RAIN!!!!
Once again, another day filled with rain. Rainy days crack me up. People go into a frenzy. The roads are suddenly chaotic. Stores are filled with people because god forbid you stay inside and "read" on a bad-weather day. Then there's the other side of the spectrum. People who think that if rain hits their body that it will somehow turn them to ice or a stone statue. Those people stay at home ALL day, watching channel 61 weather channel, silently urging the rain to stop.
Today I read for a little bit. Am now reading Brighton Beach Memoirs. John's mom always talk about it so I decided to read it. I like it. Yes, what a thought-provoking statement. What I like best is how when I read it, I can hear each of the characters in my mind. Yes, I know that this is an element of reading---the whole imagination "thang"---but if the author writes like shit, then it is less likely you will be able to imagine scenes and characters' voices. Will have to try to some more Neil Simon plays.
Also made a trek to Kohls for some "back to school" shopping. So did the rest of NJ. The store wasnt crowded; that wasn't the problem. It was just that every piece of clothing that I liked was not available in my size.
Clothing stores, in general, annoy me. I think because more Americans are oevrweight that the stores are adjusting their sizes. For the most part, I take a medium or even sometimes a small in shirts. There is NO WAY that in reality I am a medium...but I think clothing stores are just making clothing bigger and putting smaller size #s on them.
Another thing that frustrates me is the whole misses, ladies, womens, petites, juniors, etc categories. Why are junior sizes odd numbers and "regular" sizes even numbers? I just try on whatever I like--keep it simple...kind of.
I don't know- I have this extremely dumb theory about obesity and "years ago." When I think back to when I was a kid, they didnt have tons of LARGE sizes. They didn't have teen plus-size stores such as Torrid. I recall once having to buy Husky-brand boys' jeans because they didnt have my size in girls' jeans. In short, years ago, if you were fat, you were stylistically screwed.
Now you can be a size 26W and find "trendy" clothing. I think that it's good...but also bad. My stupid theory is that because there were not tons of readily available plus-size clothing stores years ago that it somehow kept people in a certain body-frame category. I don't know if the so-called theory makes sense.
Anyway, I ended up getting a skirt for work (size 6...HELLO...i am not "really" a size 6). And I got a shirt for John. I love shopping for guys' shirts... so easy...small, med, large, XL...no intelligence required.
On an ending note, I have a strange urge to hear Danzig's "Mother." I might just finally cave in to Itunes and buy something. Usually I prefer just buying a whole album...but..not in this case.
Today I read for a little bit. Am now reading Brighton Beach Memoirs. John's mom always talk about it so I decided to read it. I like it. Yes, what a thought-provoking statement. What I like best is how when I read it, I can hear each of the characters in my mind. Yes, I know that this is an element of reading---the whole imagination "thang"---but if the author writes like shit, then it is less likely you will be able to imagine scenes and characters' voices. Will have to try to some more Neil Simon plays.
Also made a trek to Kohls for some "back to school" shopping. So did the rest of NJ. The store wasnt crowded; that wasn't the problem. It was just that every piece of clothing that I liked was not available in my size.
Clothing stores, in general, annoy me. I think because more Americans are oevrweight that the stores are adjusting their sizes. For the most part, I take a medium or even sometimes a small in shirts. There is NO WAY that in reality I am a medium...but I think clothing stores are just making clothing bigger and putting smaller size #s on them.
Another thing that frustrates me is the whole misses, ladies, womens, petites, juniors, etc categories. Why are junior sizes odd numbers and "regular" sizes even numbers? I just try on whatever I like--keep it simple...kind of.
I don't know- I have this extremely dumb theory about obesity and "years ago." When I think back to when I was a kid, they didnt have tons of LARGE sizes. They didn't have teen plus-size stores such as Torrid. I recall once having to buy Husky-brand boys' jeans because they didnt have my size in girls' jeans. In short, years ago, if you were fat, you were stylistically screwed.
Now you can be a size 26W and find "trendy" clothing. I think that it's good...but also bad. My stupid theory is that because there were not tons of readily available plus-size clothing stores years ago that it somehow kept people in a certain body-frame category. I don't know if the so-called theory makes sense.
Anyway, I ended up getting a skirt for work (size 6...HELLO...i am not "really" a size 6). And I got a shirt for John. I love shopping for guys' shirts... so easy...small, med, large, XL...no intelligence required.
On an ending note, I have a strange urge to hear Danzig's "Mother." I might just finally cave in to Itunes and buy something. Usually I prefer just buying a whole album...but..not in this case.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Ink on the hand
I remember when I was a kid that if you had something written on your hand, adults would bombard you with what I now believe to be urban legend-esque types of responses. The most popular one was that if you wrote on your hand, the ink would seep into your skin and "bad things" would happen.
After having written countless reminders on my hands for years, I now deem the whole ink-seeping-into-hand-and-wreaking-havoc stories to be bullshit :)
On my left hand, I've written the word "PAPER." I have to keep reminding myself to finish my paper for my summer class. We have to email it to the professor by noon tomorrow. I'm such an idiot... I was working on the paper here and there, a little bit each day this week. Did nothing on it yesterday. Now it's Saturday and I have one lesson plan left [it's a unit plan paper/project thang]. It just seems stupid to nearly finish the assignment and then...stop. I'm the same way with other tasks. Take running, instance....um, in my case we will use the word "jogging." I'll jog like a [SLOW] maniac and then toward the end of my goal, I will completely slow down...the direct opposite of what you should do. I'm always like that with things...do tons of stuff in the beginning and then complete the task at a snail's pace. Personality quirk, I suppose.
I want to try to drive down to the beach tomorrow morning so I guess I should hurry up with this paper. At the rate of how much I am in the sun, I will look like Magda from There's Something about Mary in no time. When I saw that movie for the first time, I thought it was so funny. It loses its appeal, exponentially, upon later viewings. I hate when that happens.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Simple Joys in Life
I remember a few years back there was a published book called 14,000 Things to Be Happy About:http://www.amazon.com/14-000-Things-Happy-About/dp/0894803700/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-4427841-0086322?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1185844946&sr=8-2
My friend's mom owned it and we used to make fun of the book. They had things such as (from Amazon excerpt): "pajamas at breakfast," "the feel of rug under bare feet," and "the position of your head as you bite into a taco." We thought it was hilarious that Lisa's mom had this book. She would even highlight all of the "happy things" she had experienced. It seemed kind of wishy-washy and hippieish...a "mom" kind of book.
Years later, I found the book at a garage sale or used book sale and picked up a copy. Am not sure where it is not though.
Driving to Montclair today, I had a happy moment... and there were a few more by the end of the evening. This kind of experience is a rarity when you're driving on a highway that, no matter what time it is, still seems to be congested and at full capacity.
So this is my mini-list from today---things to be happy about:
1) Driving and sticking your left hand out the driver-side window----palm facing out, feeling the strong wind as it tries to bypass you... getting a steady breeze mixed in with the vents of your car's fan function.
2) Going 70mph on route 46....somehow it happened tonight, I don't know how.
3) Driving along a highway or road and smelling fresh, bakery smells. Tonight there was the scent of baked cinnamon-raisin bread as I drove down the highway. The smell quickly disappeared and was replaced by a combination of fatty butter and old gymsock smells. Oh well, can't win 'em all.
4) Hearing a song on the radio that you do not know the name or artist of, but simply love....
5) Making friendly, warm eye contact with another driver on the road...maybe even both simultaneously smiling at one another....
Only 13,996 more ideas and I can publish 14,001 Things to Be Happy About...
My friend's mom owned it and we used to make fun of the book. They had things such as (from Amazon excerpt): "pajamas at breakfast," "the feel of rug under bare feet," and "the position of your head as you bite into a taco." We thought it was hilarious that Lisa's mom had this book. She would even highlight all of the "happy things" she had experienced. It seemed kind of wishy-washy and hippieish...a "mom" kind of book.
Years later, I found the book at a garage sale or used book sale and picked up a copy. Am not sure where it is not though.
Driving to Montclair today, I had a happy moment... and there were a few more by the end of the evening. This kind of experience is a rarity when you're driving on a highway that, no matter what time it is, still seems to be congested and at full capacity.
So this is my mini-list from today---things to be happy about:
1) Driving and sticking your left hand out the driver-side window----palm facing out, feeling the strong wind as it tries to bypass you... getting a steady breeze mixed in with the vents of your car's fan function.
2) Going 70mph on route 46....somehow it happened tonight, I don't know how.
3) Driving along a highway or road and smelling fresh, bakery smells. Tonight there was the scent of baked cinnamon-raisin bread as I drove down the highway. The smell quickly disappeared and was replaced by a combination of fatty butter and old gymsock smells. Oh well, can't win 'em all.
4) Hearing a song on the radio that you do not know the name or artist of, but simply love....
5) Making friendly, warm eye contact with another driver on the road...maybe even both simultaneously smiling at one another....
Only 13,996 more ideas and I can publish 14,001 Things to Be Happy About...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Feelings on my 27th year
"It's my birthday!!!" (said in an annoying, loud, shrill like that of a 15-year-old wearing an I heart me shirt)
Today did officially suck. No birthday tragedies or anything...just a boring day. Worked at the library from 9-3, scurried to put finishing touches on a presentation/assignment for class, then went to class. Ended up that I didn't have to present tonight afterall because we ran out of time. That was kind of annoying but it's better I got the whole assignment out of the way before the weekend anyway. Will present next week. Tonight we're going to see the midnight showing of The Simpsons movie... since I've watched the show since 4th grade, I feel I owe it to myself to see the movie. I can't believe that show has been on for SO long. I literally grew up with it.
Back to birthday talk...I guess as you get older, birthdays aren't that big of a deal. I know women freak out about getting older; I don't really understand why. No one says just because you're 40, you have to get a "mom haircut" and "let yourself go."
My birthday years have kind of gone backwards actually, in terms of how I regard myself. Ages 14-19 sucked royally. I was fat, had acne, had no sense of style whatsoever, was shy and weak-ish, and had horrible hair. You can tell these years were miserable because my photo album isn't as full as it could be for those given years.
Late 19 and on have been pretty good... I lost weight by basically eating TONS of salad and fruit... and all you can eat sort of regimen... and just feel better about myself. I think I'm less reserved now and even a little bit feisty, at appropriate times. 1st year of teaching was horrible, but other than that, things are fine.
Now at 27, I can look at myself and see an attractive YOUNG woman... both physically and mentally... there's tons of things I want to improve about myself, but not too much I would change if I could.
To repeat that cliche, I've heard countless times (which someone has inevitably written to me via email or bday card): "Hope this year's the best one yet!"
Today did officially suck. No birthday tragedies or anything...just a boring day. Worked at the library from 9-3, scurried to put finishing touches on a presentation/assignment for class, then went to class. Ended up that I didn't have to present tonight afterall because we ran out of time. That was kind of annoying but it's better I got the whole assignment out of the way before the weekend anyway. Will present next week. Tonight we're going to see the midnight showing of The Simpsons movie... since I've watched the show since 4th grade, I feel I owe it to myself to see the movie. I can't believe that show has been on for SO long. I literally grew up with it.
Back to birthday talk...I guess as you get older, birthdays aren't that big of a deal. I know women freak out about getting older; I don't really understand why. No one says just because you're 40, you have to get a "mom haircut" and "let yourself go."
My birthday years have kind of gone backwards actually, in terms of how I regard myself. Ages 14-19 sucked royally. I was fat, had acne, had no sense of style whatsoever, was shy and weak-ish, and had horrible hair. You can tell these years were miserable because my photo album isn't as full as it could be for those given years.
Late 19 and on have been pretty good... I lost weight by basically eating TONS of salad and fruit... and all you can eat sort of regimen... and just feel better about myself. I think I'm less reserved now and even a little bit feisty, at appropriate times. 1st year of teaching was horrible, but other than that, things are fine.
Now at 27, I can look at myself and see an attractive YOUNG woman... both physically and mentally... there's tons of things I want to improve about myself, but not too much I would change if I could.
To repeat that cliche, I've heard countless times (which someone has inevitably written to me via email or bday card): "Hope this year's the best one yet!"
Monday, July 23, 2007
Rainy day dumb DJs
Ok, so today's torrential rainfall warranted some "thematic" music on the radio...something in connection to the weather...maybe the Carpenters' "Rainy Days and Mondays;" perhaps a little bit of "It's Raining Men;" or maybe the most logical Billboard-friendly choice, Rihanna's "Umbrella." Djs are idiots. Instead, I would turn from station to station and hear the same crap...the Chris Daughtry "I'm Coming Home" song; that Pink "U and UR Hand" song [good in step aerobics class, but that's about it]; or Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry."
I kind of secretly love rainy days. If I have to work at school, rainy days suck. I get up, make myself look presentable, wear "nice work clothes," and even style my hair--- only to get to work with frizzy hair and raindrops scattered on my clothing. Working at the library during the summer is much better for rainy days... it's a good place to be. Or staying in bed and watching documentaries...or reading...good rainy day activities.
I find "umbrella trends" fascinating. 99% of the males that I saw today were either 1] being macho and walking through the rain torrents as if they didn't notice them or 2] using black, navy blue, or dark grey umbrellas. I saw one guy with an earth-toned plaid umbrella. Based on his umbrella use alone, if I was single, I'd date him.
Ladies run the gammut with the motifs and designs on their umbrellas. Most that I saw today were solid colors. I have a feeling this is an East coast phenomenon. I bet people in Florida use vividly colored umbrellas, or umbrellas with cheesy beach themes. I saw someone today who had a Winnie the Pooh umbrella. I'd bet money that she was an elementary school teacher. You just know. Someone else had this reddish/ivory umbrella that looked like a watercolor painting of a radish.
Me, I used to use a black umbrella. Last week, I turned a new leaf. My new umbrella is black [conservative] with brightly colored polka dots [wild]---a perfect twist for an NJ girl.
(Umbrellas #4, Pastel, by Robert Weinstein )
http://www.robertweinsteinart.com/
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Thursday night frenzy
I'm in a frenzy tonight... last class of the week... more homework ADDED to the original syllabus... but it's the END of the week.... I've been drinking a Red Bull before class each night--just because otherwise I feel "out of it." During class, I am usually calm, but focused. When I come home from class, however, I am a spaz. Tonight I feel like going out somewhere (um, karaoke); it's like all my friends have ESP and can sense I am calling them for karaoke-endeavor-requests. I called four people and no one answered their phones :-(
So, instead it's just another evening inside...watching The Office and Scrubs. NBC's Thursday lineup is truly fantastic. Scrubs is amazing because the theme song is a mere 11 or 12 words...
We're watching Smokin' Aces tonight..."movie night." John promised that he will WATCH the movie and not play WOW. He said he might have to occasionally get up from the couch and press the space (aka "jump") key. I'm fine with that. I don't really want to see this movie all that much but Jeremy Piven and Ryan Reynolds are in it...I think I'll survive just fine.
So, instead it's just another evening inside...watching The Office and Scrubs. NBC's Thursday lineup is truly fantastic. Scrubs is amazing because the theme song is a mere 11 or 12 words...
We're watching Smokin' Aces tonight..."movie night." John promised that he will WATCH the movie and not play WOW. He said he might have to occasionally get up from the couch and press the space (aka "jump") key. I'm fine with that. I don't really want to see this movie all that much but Jeremy Piven and Ryan Reynolds are in it...I think I'll survive just fine.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Trembling Blue Stars...and exercise
Felt like listening to a CD...an actual, REAL CD...and not just some digital mix of songs. Actually, despite Itunes and all of the music available online, I still prefer buying CDs; there's something exciting about holding a CD in your hand and discovering the liner notes and inside cover art. Anyway, I went through my CD collection and came upon Trembling Blue Stars' album, Broken by Whispers. Don't know if I have ever listened to the CD straight through, but, damn, what a good name for a band!
Went to the gym tonight. Argh, this blog is becoming "The Exercise Files." Told myself I'd run a mile. It's not like I haven't completed that feat before but during vacation, I was LAZY as could be. I also consumed many soft "Philly-style" pretzels, funnelcakes, pizza, etc. So lately I've been getting back into the gym routine. I go after my night class--get to the gym around 9PM. I find that I exercise REALLY well at that time of day.
Anyway, I huffed, puffed, and probably mouthed a few curse words, but made it through my mile. My legs now have that jellyish feeling running through them. I think that might be a good thing.
Interesting thing about the 9PM timeslot at the gym. There's this other guy who comes in nightly, at the same time as me...or around the same time. He's in his 30s, I guess---I've never been good at the age guessing game. He intrigues me because he looks like a gentle soul: dark hair, dark eyes, calm face. He wears a tshirt tucked into his jogging shorts or sweatpants. I find that odd. I don't know... it just seems to be such a put-together ensemble for the gym. He also wears black sneakers. I've always seen black sneakers as "dorky." Anyway, the fact that we seem to follow the same time routine and even exercise routine (treadmill/elliptical) just intrigues me. I wonder if he eats dinner at 5:00 and before going to the gym pops in a few TV shows on DVD. Just wondering. He looks like he would be named something like Mel. I don't know why. Or maybe James. But a lot of people probably look like they could be named James.
Went to the gym tonight. Argh, this blog is becoming "The Exercise Files." Told myself I'd run a mile. It's not like I haven't completed that feat before but during vacation, I was LAZY as could be. I also consumed many soft "Philly-style" pretzels, funnelcakes, pizza, etc. So lately I've been getting back into the gym routine. I go after my night class--get to the gym around 9PM. I find that I exercise REALLY well at that time of day.
Anyway, I huffed, puffed, and probably mouthed a few curse words, but made it through my mile. My legs now have that jellyish feeling running through them. I think that might be a good thing.
Interesting thing about the 9PM timeslot at the gym. There's this other guy who comes in nightly, at the same time as me...or around the same time. He's in his 30s, I guess---I've never been good at the age guessing game. He intrigues me because he looks like a gentle soul: dark hair, dark eyes, calm face. He wears a tshirt tucked into his jogging shorts or sweatpants. I find that odd. I don't know... it just seems to be such a put-together ensemble for the gym. He also wears black sneakers. I've always seen black sneakers as "dorky." Anyway, the fact that we seem to follow the same time routine and even exercise routine (treadmill/elliptical) just intrigues me. I wonder if he eats dinner at 5:00 and before going to the gym pops in a few TV shows on DVD. Just wondering. He looks like he would be named something like Mel. I don't know why. Or maybe James. But a lot of people probably look like they could be named James.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Stop shaking your leg...NOW!
Flash's tail is resting on the keyboard as I type this. Lately, he's been sitting near me whenever I am at the computer. He's been affectionate ever since we got back from vacation. Lola's the direct opposite...she's been distant and kind of bitchy. We think she is going through her "teenage" cat years...Flash went through a similar, unaffectionate phase after he was a kitten.
I've taken a few grad school classes now and some people seem to never change, in regard to habits. In no ranking order, these are the 4 MOST annoying types of classmates to have in a room with you.
1] The Obsessive Highlighter ("highlighter" being used as a noun referring to "one who highlights")
The obsessive highlighters aren't super-abundant in grad school but I know they're out there. These are the people that may be reading in the assigned text before class or following along on a certain page with the professor--- they have the inclination to highlight practically the whole page... so instead of mostly white pages with some "important" pieces of the text highlighted, you instead have a whole page of pink, yellow, green, or orange. And the highlighter (marker this time) makes that irritating squeaky noise, line by line.
2] The Shaker
This is the person who, OF COURSE, is sitting next to YOU and keeps shaking their leg for the whole duration of class. I just want to throw a heavy steel plate on their leg and make them stop.
3] The Quoter
So pretentious...some ignorant ass who really knows or understands nothing, but feels inclined to quote tons of other "thinkers" and "intellectuals." Quotes are fine, substantiating ideas is fine....THE Quoter goes above and beyond...
4] The Insecure Participant
I find it so annoying when someone persistently prefaces a statement, opinion, or viewpoint with something like "I know this is a stupid question, but..." or "I'm probably wrong, but..." I don't know what's up with those people. If you truly think you're most likely wrong or that what you're about to say can be categorized as "stupid," why participate in the first place? Wait for a better moment in the discussion and participate in a non-stupid, correct way. Females tend to fill the insecure participant category more than males. What happened to girl power? Thank god The Spice Girls are reuniting for a tour...
I've taken a few grad school classes now and some people seem to never change, in regard to habits. In no ranking order, these are the 4 MOST annoying types of classmates to have in a room with you.
1] The Obsessive Highlighter ("highlighter" being used as a noun referring to "one who highlights")
The obsessive highlighters aren't super-abundant in grad school but I know they're out there. These are the people that may be reading in the assigned text before class or following along on a certain page with the professor--- they have the inclination to highlight practically the whole page... so instead of mostly white pages with some "important" pieces of the text highlighted, you instead have a whole page of pink, yellow, green, or orange. And the highlighter (marker this time) makes that irritating squeaky noise, line by line.
2] The Shaker
This is the person who, OF COURSE, is sitting next to YOU and keeps shaking their leg for the whole duration of class. I just want to throw a heavy steel plate on their leg and make them stop.
3] The Quoter
So pretentious...some ignorant ass who really knows or understands nothing, but feels inclined to quote tons of other "thinkers" and "intellectuals." Quotes are fine, substantiating ideas is fine....THE Quoter goes above and beyond...
4] The Insecure Participant
I find it so annoying when someone persistently prefaces a statement, opinion, or viewpoint with something like "I know this is a stupid question, but..." or "I'm probably wrong, but..." I don't know what's up with those people. If you truly think you're most likely wrong or that what you're about to say can be categorized as "stupid," why participate in the first place? Wait for a better moment in the discussion and participate in a non-stupid, correct way. Females tend to fill the insecure participant category more than males. What happened to girl power? Thank god The Spice Girls are reuniting for a tour...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Pedometer nerd
To show my nerd status, let me first say that I enjoy how prefixes and roots create words. For example, the "ped" means "foot" and "meter" refers to "measurement," thus leading to a device that measures footsteps. I guess it was some time last year that there was this real push to get us sedentary Americans to walk more---at least 10,000 steps a day. Pedometers were sold everywhere, real cheap too. For awhile McDonald's even sold a "fitness meal" (kind of like a Happy Meal, but for obese adults instead of the kiddies). I don't know if they still sell it. With the exception of my consumption of McDonald's surged by intoxication a few months ago, I haven't had McDonald's since I saw Super Size Me. Anyway, the fitness meals came with a free pedometer, an incentive to start making the oath to walk 10,000 steps a day and get on track to better fitness.
On a sidenote, I've heard (I think from that Super Size Me doc.) that McDonald's puts sugar in their foods, even their "healthy" foods. Don't know how healthy the fitness meals really are.
Anyway, back to the topic. Ok, on our recent vacation, I drove everyone crazy. I had my pedometer on all the time, seeing if I made the 10,000 step mark. For the most part, I did do the 10,000 steps (5 miles!) daily, just from walking on the boardwalk and walking into town to shop.
I wore my pedometer today to see how much I walk during a typical day. Had a workshop at school and was walking around the building at various times. Had a class at Montclair and was walking around campus, to the bookstore, library, and then to class. At the foodstore, I purposely parked far away so as to walk a little more. It i now 9:15, the end of my walking for the day, and I've only gone 8,717 steps (about 4 miles). I know it's not a big deal and I am obviously getting a bit obsessive, but the whole thing just makes me realize---- if during the "typical" day, I moderately walk around and do not make this 10,000 step minimum, what about people who are truly sedentary? Or what about those days when I stay inside and watched 3 movies in a row, doing nothing else all day? God, no wonder why so many Americans are overweight.
Ok, so I don't have time tonight to fix the under 10,000 step debacle but...I think from now on I am going to make a promise to myself to get in the 10,000 steps daily...the 10,000 steps will NOT include working out at the gym-- that's extra.
What a blah post--although there was some foreshadowing, being that the title of the post was "Pedometer nerd."
'Til another time...
On a sidenote, I've heard (I think from that Super Size Me doc.) that McDonald's puts sugar in their foods, even their "healthy" foods. Don't know how healthy the fitness meals really are.
Anyway, back to the topic. Ok, on our recent vacation, I drove everyone crazy. I had my pedometer on all the time, seeing if I made the 10,000 step mark. For the most part, I did do the 10,000 steps (5 miles!) daily, just from walking on the boardwalk and walking into town to shop.
I wore my pedometer today to see how much I walk during a typical day. Had a workshop at school and was walking around the building at various times. Had a class at Montclair and was walking around campus, to the bookstore, library, and then to class. At the foodstore, I purposely parked far away so as to walk a little more. It i now 9:15, the end of my walking for the day, and I've only gone 8,717 steps (about 4 miles). I know it's not a big deal and I am obviously getting a bit obsessive, but the whole thing just makes me realize---- if during the "typical" day, I moderately walk around and do not make this 10,000 step minimum, what about people who are truly sedentary? Or what about those days when I stay inside and watched 3 movies in a row, doing nothing else all day? God, no wonder why so many Americans are overweight.
Ok, so I don't have time tonight to fix the under 10,000 step debacle but...I think from now on I am going to make a promise to myself to get in the 10,000 steps daily...the 10,000 steps will NOT include working out at the gym-- that's extra.
What a blah post--although there was some foreshadowing, being that the title of the post was "Pedometer nerd."
'Til another time...
Monday, July 09, 2007
Summer is simply coasting by,...
I can't believe that we're already 3 weeks into summer. I totally cannot complain--I went on vacation to Ocean City, spent my friend's birthday with her in A.C., and went to the beach the other day too. A lot of people don't even get to do that list of things within the whole summer. I just feel the ultimate need to make the most of my free time in the summer.
My summer class starts tonight... was hoping that the professor would have an abbreviated class schedule. We are supposed to meet Monday through Thursday from 5-7pm... according to the course syllabus we will be meeting each one of those nights until the end of the course. I HATE driving on route 46 and driving on route 46 during rush hour (um....a duration of time which begins around 3pm and ends way past 7) is miserable.
John and I have been doing South Beach Diet for almost a week. Even though we've been staying within the "phase 1 menu," I have the feeling that we will somehow defy the diet and either end up gaining weight or just staying what we are. Yesterday I had a binge---ate about 9 sugar-free fudgesicles. I guess that's not much of a binge but I don't think fudgesicle gorge sessions are part of the diet.
You know how you can buy virtually anything online? Case in point: People that play World of Warcraft can actually buy "game money" via ebay... virtual money...it's crazy. Anyway, I wish I could buy self-control online. I could be so much more productive in all facets of my life....
My summer class starts tonight... was hoping that the professor would have an abbreviated class schedule. We are supposed to meet Monday through Thursday from 5-7pm... according to the course syllabus we will be meeting each one of those nights until the end of the course. I HATE driving on route 46 and driving on route 46 during rush hour (um....a duration of time which begins around 3pm and ends way past 7) is miserable.
John and I have been doing South Beach Diet for almost a week. Even though we've been staying within the "phase 1 menu," I have the feeling that we will somehow defy the diet and either end up gaining weight or just staying what we are. Yesterday I had a binge---ate about 9 sugar-free fudgesicles. I guess that's not much of a binge but I don't think fudgesicle gorge sessions are part of the diet.
You know how you can buy virtually anything online? Case in point: People that play World of Warcraft can actually buy "game money" via ebay... virtual money...it's crazy. Anyway, I wish I could buy self-control online. I could be so much more productive in all facets of my life....
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Old habits die hard...
"Old habits die hard"- I like that phrase...it's semi-overused so maybe it's considered a cliche...I'm not sure...but I like it!
Just got back from Ocean City..am remembering back to this past week...I'd sit out on the balcony in a beachchair, simultaneously reading a book and peoplewatching. Made a little oath to myself that when I got back here, I'd try to sit outside more and stay away from TV and the computer... and look at where I am, about 2 hours after I got home... oh well...
Read some wonderful "chick lit" on vacation...Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner [yes, we were all immature and making fun of the author's last name] and Smart Women by Judy Blume. Judy Blume hasn't written that many books for adults, but I love her "adult books." John makes fun of me... :-)
Am REALLY looking forward to this summer... I'm only 9 days into summer vacation and feel like I've accomplished a lot...of...relaxation. My summer class starts on 7/9 and I am looking forward to it...although the M/T/W/H 5-7pm schedule is ridiculous... what genius came up with that time slot? I plan on being a lunatic and leaving my apartment around 3ish everyday...will stop at Barnes and Noble and read for awhile before class... I can't deal with route 46 traffic...
On a different note, I hope that during this summer I NEVER have to hear the music melange that I heard on the beach the other day---Bruce Springsteen AND Sublime...I get the reason for Springsteen tunes--- NJ, man! And I get the reason for listening to Sublime on the beach--- very laidback and poseur-reggae...but... both honestly suck.
I wouldn't mind hearing someone sing Boyz to Men aloud though...classic clip...poor Mom...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j97V-aMjeTk
Just got back from Ocean City..am remembering back to this past week...I'd sit out on the balcony in a beachchair, simultaneously reading a book and peoplewatching. Made a little oath to myself that when I got back here, I'd try to sit outside more and stay away from TV and the computer... and look at where I am, about 2 hours after I got home... oh well...
Read some wonderful "chick lit" on vacation...Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner [yes, we were all immature and making fun of the author's last name] and Smart Women by Judy Blume. Judy Blume hasn't written that many books for adults, but I love her "adult books." John makes fun of me... :-)
Am REALLY looking forward to this summer... I'm only 9 days into summer vacation and feel like I've accomplished a lot...of...relaxation. My summer class starts on 7/9 and I am looking forward to it...although the M/T/W/H 5-7pm schedule is ridiculous... what genius came up with that time slot? I plan on being a lunatic and leaving my apartment around 3ish everyday...will stop at Barnes and Noble and read for awhile before class... I can't deal with route 46 traffic...
On a different note, I hope that during this summer I NEVER have to hear the music melange that I heard on the beach the other day---Bruce Springsteen AND Sublime...I get the reason for Springsteen tunes--- NJ, man! And I get the reason for listening to Sublime on the beach--- very laidback and poseur-reggae...but... both honestly suck.
I wouldn't mind hearing someone sing Boyz to Men aloud though...classic clip...poor Mom...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j97V-aMjeTk
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
"South Jersey" Adventures...
I find it humorous how such a small state like NJ could attract native residents to vacation spots. North Jerseyans act like anything below exit 100 on the parkway is a different country. In a way, it is... the whole boardwalk "culture," an abundance of CHEAP thrift shops, signs for activities like paintballing and racecar tracks, Confederate flags AS window coverings, ...
We've been down in Ocean City for the past few days...will be here until Saturday. Our rental house is literally in walking distance to the beach. I can easily imagine myself going to the beach daiy: basking in the sun for most of the time, reading a lot, and occasionally hopping into the water for refreshment. And the abundance of awesome boardwalk food... undescribeable... John and I have already made an oath to start South Beach upon our return "up north."
Tonight I went to A.C. and gambled for the first real time. I previously had done the slot machines but they provide no amusement. You lose your money fast [and you ALWAYS lose] and there's no sense of control in the game. You press buttons, the machine determines when it will stop, and if you're lucky, you win 25 cents.
We played BlackJack tonight... Floyd was our dealer... I was a bit wary of him...there were only 3 of us at the table and he was making "small talk." It just felt weird...because I knew that, inevitably, we'd be losing money to this guy.
John lost his "gambling money" within about 10 minutes... my heart was racing as fast as it ever has. I can see how people get a rush from gambling. Even when you're losing, you keep betting more chips, thinking that somehow you'll be lucky the next round, the adrenaline increasing and increasing.
When I played, there was this old man at our table. He said he was down at the tables because he couldn't sleep and had nothing else to do. He had bloodshot eyes and looked completely out of it, but looked endearing at the same time.
Ended up losing 25 of the 100 I started out with...I didn't quite "get" the us-against-dealer concept and said "hit me" when I had 13 and the dealer was showing a 5...or something like that. It all ended up okay but apparently you're supposed to play the game like you're all in it together, against the dealer. I think that's dumb--- everyone is an individual player, right? I even mentioned capitalism to the other player, the old man... every man for himself. Luckily, I think he was humored.
So...we technically came back from A.C. as losers... but it was definitely fun... makes me have bigger interest in visiting Vegas...John and I had always wanted to go to see the shows out there, but now I think I'd have a slight interest in the gambling too...
John's cousin was laughing at my "cheapness" (I like to call it frugality...)-- no matter WHAT, I would not double down during my card deals...
Next time I go to A.C., I'd like to dress like a hip, younger version of an old lady in A.C. --- flashy colors and all, a little gold lame (accent mark above the "e") here and there...
We've been down in Ocean City for the past few days...will be here until Saturday. Our rental house is literally in walking distance to the beach. I can easily imagine myself going to the beach daiy: basking in the sun for most of the time, reading a lot, and occasionally hopping into the water for refreshment. And the abundance of awesome boardwalk food... undescribeable... John and I have already made an oath to start South Beach upon our return "up north."
Tonight I went to A.C. and gambled for the first real time. I previously had done the slot machines but they provide no amusement. You lose your money fast [and you ALWAYS lose] and there's no sense of control in the game. You press buttons, the machine determines when it will stop, and if you're lucky, you win 25 cents.
We played BlackJack tonight... Floyd was our dealer... I was a bit wary of him...there were only 3 of us at the table and he was making "small talk." It just felt weird...because I knew that, inevitably, we'd be losing money to this guy.
John lost his "gambling money" within about 10 minutes... my heart was racing as fast as it ever has. I can see how people get a rush from gambling. Even when you're losing, you keep betting more chips, thinking that somehow you'll be lucky the next round, the adrenaline increasing and increasing.
When I played, there was this old man at our table. He said he was down at the tables because he couldn't sleep and had nothing else to do. He had bloodshot eyes and looked completely out of it, but looked endearing at the same time.
Ended up losing 25 of the 100 I started out with...I didn't quite "get" the us-against-dealer concept and said "hit me" when I had 13 and the dealer was showing a 5...or something like that. It all ended up okay but apparently you're supposed to play the game like you're all in it together, against the dealer. I think that's dumb--- everyone is an individual player, right? I even mentioned capitalism to the other player, the old man... every man for himself. Luckily, I think he was humored.
So...we technically came back from A.C. as losers... but it was definitely fun... makes me have bigger interest in visiting Vegas...John and I had always wanted to go to see the shows out there, but now I think I'd have a slight interest in the gambling too...
John's cousin was laughing at my "cheapness" (I like to call it frugality...)-- no matter WHAT, I would not double down during my card deals...
Next time I go to A.C., I'd like to dress like a hip, younger version of an old lady in A.C. --- flashy colors and all, a little gold lame (accent mark above the "e") here and there...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Poetry ...at last
A co-worker and I were bitching about teaching the other day. Actually, I guess I was bitching about it and she was listening and just keeping a straight face and nodding "Uh huh, uh huh," the whole time. I was saying how I used to write all the time, mostly poetry although I did write some really short narrative pieces. It basically comes down to this: my job (and students!) have sucked the creativity out of my brain. Seriously, one of those little bastards from my first year of teaching is now walking around with my creativity in their mind... well, maybe not.
We can say, "Make time if it's important," "Make time for yourself," blah blah blah. But it doesn't happen all too often...at least not with me.
The other night, after the whole bacon/food frenzy fiasco, I fell asleep for 3+ hours. This led to me being wide AWAKE at midnight and after. I actually wrote a "pome" [I hate when people pronounce it like that]. It's kind of teen angsty, but I'm proud of myself. Still could use some editing.
My eyes used to be bright,
Wide open like a child.
Contemplative repose
mixed with excitement.
Hundreds of blue flecks
collided together
and exploded
into vivid orbs.
There was celebration in my eyes.
Now the bright blue
has been splashed with a milky gray,
disappointment casting a shadow.
I sometimes purposely
try to open my eyes wide.
If I look as if I feel wonder,
then maybe I will.
You can only try so many times,
to widen something
that has undoubtedly been closed.
We can say, "Make time if it's important," "Make time for yourself," blah blah blah. But it doesn't happen all too often...at least not with me.
The other night, after the whole bacon/food frenzy fiasco, I fell asleep for 3+ hours. This led to me being wide AWAKE at midnight and after. I actually wrote a "pome" [I hate when people pronounce it like that]. It's kind of teen angsty, but I'm proud of myself. Still could use some editing.
My eyes used to be bright,
Wide open like a child.
Contemplative repose
mixed with excitement.
Hundreds of blue flecks
collided together
and exploded
into vivid orbs.
There was celebration in my eyes.
Now the bright blue
has been splashed with a milky gray,
disappointment casting a shadow.
I sometimes purposely
try to open my eyes wide.
If I look as if I feel wonder,
then maybe I will.
You can only try so many times,
to widen something
that has undoubtedly been closed.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I pigged out...ah, I feel good.
Work sucked today! I feel like having a drill put into my head and having all the brain matter taken out. Then, I could walk around in a catatonic state and have nothing bother me. There was a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that was like that. Yeah, I want to be like him.
The students are just not "into" working. 6th and 7th graders aren't too bad but my 8th graders are lazier than ever. No matter what I try to do to make lessons "engaging" or "meaningful," they just do nothing. The only way they shut up is if I have classtime where they passively sit, and I read aloud. Yay for read alouds. But then it is literally me doing all the work...which is, I guess why they like it so much.
Seriously though, I had the biggest headache at work today. I have to keep biting my tongue to keep all my nasty, mean thoughts inside.
Got home from work today and gorged... one of those weird stress-filled eating frenzies where you have the oddest combo of foods: 2 nectarines, 1 orange, 6 pieces of bacon, almonds and miscellaneous "fruit mix," and cheese. Not the best snack, but it turned out being dinner so I guess that's ok. I fell asleep for 4 straight hours.
I just want the schoolyear to end so I can enjoy my time because, at this point, the time we have left is just pointless. 10 more days, two of them 1/2 days. In the meantime, maybe I'll research into that brain drilling phenomenon. I saw them do something like that on House last night.
The students are just not "into" working. 6th and 7th graders aren't too bad but my 8th graders are lazier than ever. No matter what I try to do to make lessons "engaging" or "meaningful," they just do nothing. The only way they shut up is if I have classtime where they passively sit, and I read aloud. Yay for read alouds. But then it is literally me doing all the work...which is, I guess why they like it so much.
Seriously though, I had the biggest headache at work today. I have to keep biting my tongue to keep all my nasty, mean thoughts inside.
Got home from work today and gorged... one of those weird stress-filled eating frenzies where you have the oddest combo of foods: 2 nectarines, 1 orange, 6 pieces of bacon, almonds and miscellaneous "fruit mix," and cheese. Not the best snack, but it turned out being dinner so I guess that's ok. I fell asleep for 4 straight hours.
I just want the schoolyear to end so I can enjoy my time because, at this point, the time we have left is just pointless. 10 more days, two of them 1/2 days. In the meantime, maybe I'll research into that brain drilling phenomenon. I saw them do something like that on House last night.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Nature! Goulet....
Even off of the main highway of Route 46, nature can be found. I was incredibly lazy today. Previous plans for today were pretty "lite" to begin with: go the gym, go to the mall (looking for summer "hippieish" shirts-- paisley prints and all that jazz), and buy lightbulbs. Not too difficult. Well, I sat around all day. Watched Green Street Hooligans, which was actually pretty good--- although Elijah Wood annoys me. He has looked the same since he was in that Mel Gibson movie where Gibson goes into the future, or something like that. I find Elijah Wood to be kind of wimpy.
Anyway, at 9:00, I finally ventured out. Was taking the trash to the apartment's garbage "area" and caught a quick glimpse of a skunk. There was no way I was going near the garbage cans. Left my trash bags near the parking lot, with the intention of throwing them out when I got back from the store. That was nature sighting #1.
Nature sighting #2 was on my way to turn onto route 46. Caught a glimpse of a deer, staring straight ahead into my headlights.
Bought lightbulbs, check.
Nature sighting #3: When I got back, I went over to the trash bags that I still needed to deposit in the official trash area. A raccoon popped out from amongst the bags. Guess there was some good stuff in the bags because he had burrowed his way through the bags and garbage was all over.
It's kind of funny, actually. Tonight it is raining like crazy...and all these animals are out. I can almost imagine all of them convening in the woods: "Okay, there's bad weather all around. The humans will be staying inside all evening. It's party time for us! Go! Rummage through garbage, gather with friends, let's take back the night!"
Anyway, at 9:00, I finally ventured out. Was taking the trash to the apartment's garbage "area" and caught a quick glimpse of a skunk. There was no way I was going near the garbage cans. Left my trash bags near the parking lot, with the intention of throwing them out when I got back from the store. That was nature sighting #1.
Nature sighting #2 was on my way to turn onto route 46. Caught a glimpse of a deer, staring straight ahead into my headlights.
Bought lightbulbs, check.
Nature sighting #3: When I got back, I went over to the trash bags that I still needed to deposit in the official trash area. A raccoon popped out from amongst the bags. Guess there was some good stuff in the bags because he had burrowed his way through the bags and garbage was all over.
It's kind of funny, actually. Tonight it is raining like crazy...and all these animals are out. I can almost imagine all of them convening in the woods: "Okay, there's bad weather all around. The humans will be staying inside all evening. It's party time for us! Go! Rummage through garbage, gather with friends, let's take back the night!"
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