"Old habits die hard"- I like that phrase...it's semi-overused so maybe it's considered a cliche...I'm not sure...but I like it!
Just got back from Ocean City..am remembering back to this past week...I'd sit out on the balcony in a beachchair, simultaneously reading a book and peoplewatching. Made a little oath to myself that when I got back here, I'd try to sit outside more and stay away from TV and the computer... and look at where I am, about 2 hours after I got home... oh well...
Read some wonderful "chick lit" on vacation...Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner [yes, we were all immature and making fun of the author's last name] and Smart Women by Judy Blume. Judy Blume hasn't written that many books for adults, but I love her "adult books." John makes fun of me... :-)
Am REALLY looking forward to this summer... I'm only 9 days into summer vacation and feel like I've accomplished a lot...of...relaxation. My summer class starts on 7/9 and I am looking forward to it...although the M/T/W/H 5-7pm schedule is ridiculous... what genius came up with that time slot? I plan on being a lunatic and leaving my apartment around 3ish everyday...will stop at Barnes and Noble and read for awhile before class... I can't deal with route 46 traffic...
On a different note, I hope that during this summer I NEVER have to hear the music melange that I heard on the beach the other day---Bruce Springsteen AND Sublime...I get the reason for Springsteen tunes--- NJ, man! And I get the reason for listening to Sublime on the beach--- very laidback and poseur-reggae...but... both honestly suck.
I wouldn't mind hearing someone sing Boyz to Men aloud though...classic clip...poor Mom...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j97V-aMjeTk
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
"South Jersey" Adventures...
I find it humorous how such a small state like NJ could attract native residents to vacation spots. North Jerseyans act like anything below exit 100 on the parkway is a different country. In a way, it is... the whole boardwalk "culture," an abundance of CHEAP thrift shops, signs for activities like paintballing and racecar tracks, Confederate flags AS window coverings, ...
We've been down in Ocean City for the past few days...will be here until Saturday. Our rental house is literally in walking distance to the beach. I can easily imagine myself going to the beach daiy: basking in the sun for most of the time, reading a lot, and occasionally hopping into the water for refreshment. And the abundance of awesome boardwalk food... undescribeable... John and I have already made an oath to start South Beach upon our return "up north."
Tonight I went to A.C. and gambled for the first real time. I previously had done the slot machines but they provide no amusement. You lose your money fast [and you ALWAYS lose] and there's no sense of control in the game. You press buttons, the machine determines when it will stop, and if you're lucky, you win 25 cents.
We played BlackJack tonight... Floyd was our dealer... I was a bit wary of him...there were only 3 of us at the table and he was making "small talk." It just felt weird...because I knew that, inevitably, we'd be losing money to this guy.
John lost his "gambling money" within about 10 minutes... my heart was racing as fast as it ever has. I can see how people get a rush from gambling. Even when you're losing, you keep betting more chips, thinking that somehow you'll be lucky the next round, the adrenaline increasing and increasing.
When I played, there was this old man at our table. He said he was down at the tables because he couldn't sleep and had nothing else to do. He had bloodshot eyes and looked completely out of it, but looked endearing at the same time.
Ended up losing 25 of the 100 I started out with...I didn't quite "get" the us-against-dealer concept and said "hit me" when I had 13 and the dealer was showing a 5...or something like that. It all ended up okay but apparently you're supposed to play the game like you're all in it together, against the dealer. I think that's dumb--- everyone is an individual player, right? I even mentioned capitalism to the other player, the old man... every man for himself. Luckily, I think he was humored.
So...we technically came back from A.C. as losers... but it was definitely fun... makes me have bigger interest in visiting Vegas...John and I had always wanted to go to see the shows out there, but now I think I'd have a slight interest in the gambling too...
John's cousin was laughing at my "cheapness" (I like to call it frugality...)-- no matter WHAT, I would not double down during my card deals...
Next time I go to A.C., I'd like to dress like a hip, younger version of an old lady in A.C. --- flashy colors and all, a little gold lame (accent mark above the "e") here and there...
We've been down in Ocean City for the past few days...will be here until Saturday. Our rental house is literally in walking distance to the beach. I can easily imagine myself going to the beach daiy: basking in the sun for most of the time, reading a lot, and occasionally hopping into the water for refreshment. And the abundance of awesome boardwalk food... undescribeable... John and I have already made an oath to start South Beach upon our return "up north."
Tonight I went to A.C. and gambled for the first real time. I previously had done the slot machines but they provide no amusement. You lose your money fast [and you ALWAYS lose] and there's no sense of control in the game. You press buttons, the machine determines when it will stop, and if you're lucky, you win 25 cents.
We played BlackJack tonight... Floyd was our dealer... I was a bit wary of him...there were only 3 of us at the table and he was making "small talk." It just felt weird...because I knew that, inevitably, we'd be losing money to this guy.
John lost his "gambling money" within about 10 minutes... my heart was racing as fast as it ever has. I can see how people get a rush from gambling. Even when you're losing, you keep betting more chips, thinking that somehow you'll be lucky the next round, the adrenaline increasing and increasing.
When I played, there was this old man at our table. He said he was down at the tables because he couldn't sleep and had nothing else to do. He had bloodshot eyes and looked completely out of it, but looked endearing at the same time.
Ended up losing 25 of the 100 I started out with...I didn't quite "get" the us-against-dealer concept and said "hit me" when I had 13 and the dealer was showing a 5...or something like that. It all ended up okay but apparently you're supposed to play the game like you're all in it together, against the dealer. I think that's dumb--- everyone is an individual player, right? I even mentioned capitalism to the other player, the old man... every man for himself. Luckily, I think he was humored.
So...we technically came back from A.C. as losers... but it was definitely fun... makes me have bigger interest in visiting Vegas...John and I had always wanted to go to see the shows out there, but now I think I'd have a slight interest in the gambling too...
John's cousin was laughing at my "cheapness" (I like to call it frugality...)-- no matter WHAT, I would not double down during my card deals...
Next time I go to A.C., I'd like to dress like a hip, younger version of an old lady in A.C. --- flashy colors and all, a little gold lame (accent mark above the "e") here and there...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Poetry ...at last
A co-worker and I were bitching about teaching the other day. Actually, I guess I was bitching about it and she was listening and just keeping a straight face and nodding "Uh huh, uh huh," the whole time. I was saying how I used to write all the time, mostly poetry although I did write some really short narrative pieces. It basically comes down to this: my job (and students!) have sucked the creativity out of my brain. Seriously, one of those little bastards from my first year of teaching is now walking around with my creativity in their mind... well, maybe not.
We can say, "Make time if it's important," "Make time for yourself," blah blah blah. But it doesn't happen all too often...at least not with me.
The other night, after the whole bacon/food frenzy fiasco, I fell asleep for 3+ hours. This led to me being wide AWAKE at midnight and after. I actually wrote a "pome" [I hate when people pronounce it like that]. It's kind of teen angsty, but I'm proud of myself. Still could use some editing.
My eyes used to be bright,
Wide open like a child.
Contemplative repose
mixed with excitement.
Hundreds of blue flecks
collided together
and exploded
into vivid orbs.
There was celebration in my eyes.
Now the bright blue
has been splashed with a milky gray,
disappointment casting a shadow.
I sometimes purposely
try to open my eyes wide.
If I look as if I feel wonder,
then maybe I will.
You can only try so many times,
to widen something
that has undoubtedly been closed.
We can say, "Make time if it's important," "Make time for yourself," blah blah blah. But it doesn't happen all too often...at least not with me.
The other night, after the whole bacon/food frenzy fiasco, I fell asleep for 3+ hours. This led to me being wide AWAKE at midnight and after. I actually wrote a "pome" [I hate when people pronounce it like that]. It's kind of teen angsty, but I'm proud of myself. Still could use some editing.
My eyes used to be bright,
Wide open like a child.
Contemplative repose
mixed with excitement.
Hundreds of blue flecks
collided together
and exploded
into vivid orbs.
There was celebration in my eyes.
Now the bright blue
has been splashed with a milky gray,
disappointment casting a shadow.
I sometimes purposely
try to open my eyes wide.
If I look as if I feel wonder,
then maybe I will.
You can only try so many times,
to widen something
that has undoubtedly been closed.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I pigged out...ah, I feel good.
Work sucked today! I feel like having a drill put into my head and having all the brain matter taken out. Then, I could walk around in a catatonic state and have nothing bother me. There was a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that was like that. Yeah, I want to be like him.
The students are just not "into" working. 6th and 7th graders aren't too bad but my 8th graders are lazier than ever. No matter what I try to do to make lessons "engaging" or "meaningful," they just do nothing. The only way they shut up is if I have classtime where they passively sit, and I read aloud. Yay for read alouds. But then it is literally me doing all the work...which is, I guess why they like it so much.
Seriously though, I had the biggest headache at work today. I have to keep biting my tongue to keep all my nasty, mean thoughts inside.
Got home from work today and gorged... one of those weird stress-filled eating frenzies where you have the oddest combo of foods: 2 nectarines, 1 orange, 6 pieces of bacon, almonds and miscellaneous "fruit mix," and cheese. Not the best snack, but it turned out being dinner so I guess that's ok. I fell asleep for 4 straight hours.
I just want the schoolyear to end so I can enjoy my time because, at this point, the time we have left is just pointless. 10 more days, two of them 1/2 days. In the meantime, maybe I'll research into that brain drilling phenomenon. I saw them do something like that on House last night.
The students are just not "into" working. 6th and 7th graders aren't too bad but my 8th graders are lazier than ever. No matter what I try to do to make lessons "engaging" or "meaningful," they just do nothing. The only way they shut up is if I have classtime where they passively sit, and I read aloud. Yay for read alouds. But then it is literally me doing all the work...which is, I guess why they like it so much.
Seriously though, I had the biggest headache at work today. I have to keep biting my tongue to keep all my nasty, mean thoughts inside.
Got home from work today and gorged... one of those weird stress-filled eating frenzies where you have the oddest combo of foods: 2 nectarines, 1 orange, 6 pieces of bacon, almonds and miscellaneous "fruit mix," and cheese. Not the best snack, but it turned out being dinner so I guess that's ok. I fell asleep for 4 straight hours.
I just want the schoolyear to end so I can enjoy my time because, at this point, the time we have left is just pointless. 10 more days, two of them 1/2 days. In the meantime, maybe I'll research into that brain drilling phenomenon. I saw them do something like that on House last night.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Nature! Goulet....
Even off of the main highway of Route 46, nature can be found. I was incredibly lazy today. Previous plans for today were pretty "lite" to begin with: go the gym, go to the mall (looking for summer "hippieish" shirts-- paisley prints and all that jazz), and buy lightbulbs. Not too difficult. Well, I sat around all day. Watched Green Street Hooligans, which was actually pretty good--- although Elijah Wood annoys me. He has looked the same since he was in that Mel Gibson movie where Gibson goes into the future, or something like that. I find Elijah Wood to be kind of wimpy.
Anyway, at 9:00, I finally ventured out. Was taking the trash to the apartment's garbage "area" and caught a quick glimpse of a skunk. There was no way I was going near the garbage cans. Left my trash bags near the parking lot, with the intention of throwing them out when I got back from the store. That was nature sighting #1.
Nature sighting #2 was on my way to turn onto route 46. Caught a glimpse of a deer, staring straight ahead into my headlights.
Bought lightbulbs, check.
Nature sighting #3: When I got back, I went over to the trash bags that I still needed to deposit in the official trash area. A raccoon popped out from amongst the bags. Guess there was some good stuff in the bags because he had burrowed his way through the bags and garbage was all over.
It's kind of funny, actually. Tonight it is raining like crazy...and all these animals are out. I can almost imagine all of them convening in the woods: "Okay, there's bad weather all around. The humans will be staying inside all evening. It's party time for us! Go! Rummage through garbage, gather with friends, let's take back the night!"
Anyway, at 9:00, I finally ventured out. Was taking the trash to the apartment's garbage "area" and caught a quick glimpse of a skunk. There was no way I was going near the garbage cans. Left my trash bags near the parking lot, with the intention of throwing them out when I got back from the store. That was nature sighting #1.
Nature sighting #2 was on my way to turn onto route 46. Caught a glimpse of a deer, staring straight ahead into my headlights.
Bought lightbulbs, check.
Nature sighting #3: When I got back, I went over to the trash bags that I still needed to deposit in the official trash area. A raccoon popped out from amongst the bags. Guess there was some good stuff in the bags because he had burrowed his way through the bags and garbage was all over.
It's kind of funny, actually. Tonight it is raining like crazy...and all these animals are out. I can almost imagine all of them convening in the woods: "Okay, there's bad weather all around. The humans will be staying inside all evening. It's party time for us! Go! Rummage through garbage, gather with friends, let's take back the night!"
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