I am sitting here at the computer, listening to the Smiths. I LOVE "This Charming Man" and know that there is a tshirt out there that proclaims "I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear." If I got that shirt, I'd definitely wear it out, although it would be the epitome of stupid, unwitty irony.
In my head, I think, "20 bucks on a tshirt? You could pay most of the water bill. You could pay 1/5 of the cable bill. You could fill half of the gas tank with fuel." In other words, I think of stupid adult-like things that are incredibly irritating and UNfun.
I seriously want to be back in an apartment. I want to spend minimal amounts of income on housing and just enjoy doing whatever the fuck I want in life. When we lived in the apartment, I still lived frugally. If I lived in the apartment now, I would spend money more freely. I want to buy stupid tshirts and revel in them. I want to have "dry heat" that is so freakishly hot in the winter that I open the windows and walk around in tshirts and boxers. I want to not hear the heat kick on and think, "Fuck. $3.30 a gallon for oil." I want to go places--- odd places, wacky places---and just have fun. I would definitely make sure that John and I went on a vacation each summer.
Anyone who thinks that owning a house is the "American dream" is an "American idiot"...at least if the person lives on the East Coast....
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Pantyhose Problems
So...most of the time I go to work sans stockings or pantyhose. I don't know the difference between the two, but I do know that both forms of nylon are a pain in the ass.
Tonight was Back to School Night so I figured I'd "school marm" it up and wear a dress, a cardigan, and heels. Heels do not work with bare skin, so I purchased two pairs of pantyhose-esque items to "test out." The first item is made by Spanx company and is a body shaper. I bought size 5, otherwise known as YOU ARE FUCKING HUGE. Size 5's weight range starts at 220 pounds. I am nowhere near 200 pounds, but I figured if I bought something that fit a heavy person that it would be easier to get it on. The whole struggle with pantyhose is actually getting the damn things on. There's even a shortcut trick to help ease the process of getting pantyhose on-- you put them in the freezer. It just makes it easier to get them on, especially if your legs are "fleshier," shall we say, than most.
The Spanx shaper stopped once it reached my thighs. So- apparently, my legs are normal-sized but once my upper thigh is reached, my legs have a circumference wider than the anticipated circumference of a size "5," or a 200 pound woman.
Elastics and nylon are complicated.
The second purchase was a pair of regular pantyhose; I bought "just my size," which was both the brand name and the truth. I carefully read the graph on the back of the package and purchased my real size.
Those pantyhose wouldn't go on either! No wonder why I've gone the hippie route with wearing flowery skirts, sans pantyhose, and sandals to work.
I ended up just wearing an older pair of stockings...or pantyhose...I really don't know what the difference is, as both are just incredibly irritating. Anyway, my legs looked pasty, as the stockings were a lighter shade than "tan" or "sun-kissed." Pastiness---ultimate school marm look.
Tonight was Back to School Night so I figured I'd "school marm" it up and wear a dress, a cardigan, and heels. Heels do not work with bare skin, so I purchased two pairs of pantyhose-esque items to "test out." The first item is made by Spanx company and is a body shaper. I bought size 5, otherwise known as YOU ARE FUCKING HUGE. Size 5's weight range starts at 220 pounds. I am nowhere near 200 pounds, but I figured if I bought something that fit a heavy person that it would be easier to get it on. The whole struggle with pantyhose is actually getting the damn things on. There's even a shortcut trick to help ease the process of getting pantyhose on-- you put them in the freezer. It just makes it easier to get them on, especially if your legs are "fleshier," shall we say, than most.
The Spanx shaper stopped once it reached my thighs. So- apparently, my legs are normal-sized but once my upper thigh is reached, my legs have a circumference wider than the anticipated circumference of a size "5," or a 200 pound woman.
Elastics and nylon are complicated.
The second purchase was a pair of regular pantyhose; I bought "just my size," which was both the brand name and the truth. I carefully read the graph on the back of the package and purchased my real size.
Those pantyhose wouldn't go on either! No wonder why I've gone the hippie route with wearing flowery skirts, sans pantyhose, and sandals to work.
I ended up just wearing an older pair of stockings...or pantyhose...I really don't know what the difference is, as both are just incredibly irritating. Anyway, my legs looked pasty, as the stockings were a lighter shade than "tan" or "sun-kissed." Pastiness---ultimate school marm look.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Having kids and getting fat
When I look at photos of friends and acquaintances who have had children, I see two main patterns:
1) If the person is a teacher (male or female, doesnt matter), the person seems to stay the same weight. In terms of women, I notice that female teachers who recently have had babies, eventually "bounce back" into their shape.
2) A lot of people who have had children are FAT.
Women gain weight for obvious reasons-- a remainder of the "baby weight" left over even after the baby is born. Men gain weight after their wives have babies just because they "let go." They have this notion that now that they have a family, they can just completely indulge in stupid bullshit of life---mainly eating to cover up their misery of attending stupid events like birthday parties involving princess themes, balloon making, ...
I know there's been research done about "happiness" levels of single people vs. married people vs. married people with children. While research can completely be twisted around and warped to whatever the researcher desires to prove, there have definitely been research that has shown that having children does not necessarily add to one's own happiness.
Interesting how society makes it seem like if you do not have children, you are forever doomed for misery---guess they have to do something to further balance/increase the population though...
I know we're not dealing with overpopulation in the U.S. right now. However, the next birth control/family planning/teenage pregnancy prevention ad campaign should be wordless. All you need are before and after photos of Moms and Dads.
1) If the person is a teacher (male or female, doesnt matter), the person seems to stay the same weight. In terms of women, I notice that female teachers who recently have had babies, eventually "bounce back" into their shape.
2) A lot of people who have had children are FAT.
Women gain weight for obvious reasons-- a remainder of the "baby weight" left over even after the baby is born. Men gain weight after their wives have babies just because they "let go." They have this notion that now that they have a family, they can just completely indulge in stupid bullshit of life---mainly eating to cover up their misery of attending stupid events like birthday parties involving princess themes, balloon making, ...
I know there's been research done about "happiness" levels of single people vs. married people vs. married people with children. While research can completely be twisted around and warped to whatever the researcher desires to prove, there have definitely been research that has shown that having children does not necessarily add to one's own happiness.
Interesting how society makes it seem like if you do not have children, you are forever doomed for misery---guess they have to do something to further balance/increase the population though...
I know we're not dealing with overpopulation in the U.S. right now. However, the next birth control/family planning/teenage pregnancy prevention ad campaign should be wordless. All you need are before and after photos of Moms and Dads.
Friday, September 02, 2011
Hips Don't Lie
Most people attach memories to photos. Research says that many people also attach memories to scents. While I agree with both of those "mental scrapbooking" methods, I also use clothing as a means of remembering moments in life.
Old Navy burgundy halter top. I had this shirt in college and it was definitely my attempt at dressing sexy. I quite like my collar bone area and halter tops easily draw attention to that area. I remember wearing this shirt while dating John. I remember Friday evening, in particular, when we were supposed to meet up with his friends at Charlie Brown's...yes, the now defunct Charlie Brown's Steakhouse. Apparently, Charlie Brown's was the hip place for the Chathamites to gather.
It was the spring, a few months before I turned 21 years old. It was after ten and we were sitting at a table, but it was near the bar area. I had that burgundy halter top on, trying to be "sexy" for the evening. Regular evening wear for me was a tshirt, with hooded sweatshirt over, old jeans, and Birks.
The night I tried to be sexy turned into the night where I got kicked out of the bar. Even though we weren't drinking, or attempting to order drinks, they made us leave because I was not 21.
Burgundy halter top. 10 years later. I am now age 31. I weigh about 13 pounds more than I weighed during the Charlie Brown's episode. I haven't worn this shirt for ages. Right now, I just tried it on. The shirt fits well on top--- collar bone still looks sexy, shoulders and arms are decent-looking, and the shirt is slightly loose on my belly. DAMN hips and ass though. With jeans, this shirt looks ridiculous. My top part of my body looks small and then you hit my mid-section and, wow, hips and ass. The lower portion of my body seems to be hinting, "Time to make a baby. Use those birthing hips." Me, I just want to tell my body, "Fuck off."
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