A reason to lose weight that never crossed my mind

I just finished looking through a bunch of photos from the past few years. It's amazing how my face seems to change from photo to photo. In certain photographs, I definitely have the ability to resemble a chipmunk. In other photos, my legs look chubby. They remind me of my mother's legs. That, in effect, then reminds me of my mother's walk--- moreso a wobble. I don't ever want to be a wobbler.

I can truly say that for nearly half of my life, I have been aware of my eating and exercise habits. "The wedding miracle" occurred in 2008. I ate tons of Fiber One bars and went to the gym a reasonable 4x a week. For my wedding, I got down to my lowest weight in years.  The fact that the number was 152 is laughable, but for me, I felt svelte and skinny.

Over the past few years, I've struggled with the number on the scale. That struggle coincides with our purchase of our first home. I blame stress and cortisol on the fact that the number has not budged. The lowest I've been in years is 164.

I've wanted to lose weight for various reasons. My health is important to me, but so is fitting into the many pairs of pants in my closet. Vanity is another reason. Many of us do not want to openly admit it, but I will. i want to lose weight so that I "look" better.

One weight loss reason that has never crossed my mind is preferential treatment. What I mean by that is the idea that if one is thinner then he/she will be treated better at work and just in everyday circumstances. Some might argue that "attractive people" get treated better because perhaps they have higher self-esteem than us frumpy people. That's bullshit. Attractive, thin people get treated better because that's how life. I'm sure there is some conquest/sexuality factor too.

The point is this... it dawned on me the other day. I think I want to lose weight so that I get treated better. Currently, I'm not being mistreated by people nor do I feel "downtrodden." I'd just like to see how people treat me better. Again, if I did this "experiment" and found that people did indeed treat me better, people would analyze the experiment and say my self-esteem improved and that is why it "seems" people are treating me better. Again, bullshit.

I found this great blog post that relates to this post's topic:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12360/what-losing-100-pounds-taught-me-about-how-we-treat-overweight-people.html

Google "are thinner people treated better" and there are tons of search results. It's definitely a phenomenon.

I've been eating crazy healthy and have been keeping up with gym workouts. I'm sitting here, craving leftover Valentine's Day candy, but instead will just drink water and lemon.

Social experiment...in progress. 

Things that I loathe about my gender...

Today, John commented to me, "I think we get along so well because although there are parts of you that are 'girly,' you essentially dislike the same things about women that I dislike."

This comment was the effect of a conversation we had about various female quirks that I loathe. To me, the thing I detest most about my gender is how we obsess over discussions of weight and negative body imagine. This was extremely apparent yesterday. I went to the movies to see 50 Shades of Grey. Yes, I'm fully aware of the film's controversy. I'm not sure I fully understand claims of the film focusing on rape or manipulation. Although Anastasia, the protagonist, is wary of Christian's Grey's interests, she consents to participating with Christian. At the end of the film, (spoiler alert), she no longer agrees with Christian's proclivities and therefore leaves him.

Okay, so film discussion aside...there were several women behind me who were talking before the movie started. There were four of them, but the one who talked the most said the things that irritated me the most. Some of her comments included the following: "I avoid carbs. And sugars. Foods need less than 10 grams of sugar for me to have them. If sugar is double digits, then the proteins must be double digits too... When I buy bathing suits, it's a pain. I need bandeau tops, but then I need boy shorts to cover my belly. My belly is so big...." There were other comments, but they luckily disappeared from my memory.

I don't want to assume or prejudge, but I doubt that men spend time discussing about how they dislike their bodies. They might talk about protein intake and increasing musculature, but I don't think there is any body shaming.

Many women spend time in conversations discussing carbs, gluten, Weight Watchers, juicing, etc. It needs to stop. There's enough people out there who have a prejudice toward women. We don't need to have a prejudice toward ourselves.

I don't understand it. I've been "overweight" (according to traditional health guidelines like BMI charts) for most of my life. Do I ever spend time reading and/or discussing health or weight loss? Yes. If I had to calculate a percentage, it would be that no more than 5% of my life is focused on that aspect of me. Furthermore, I'm more likely to read things independently and take in the information than discuss them with a friend.

By no means do I consider myself an optimist, but my gender needs to spend more time focusing on positive elements of life. Other things that many females do also irritate me... saving them for another post.