Reunion

Recently, I've been getting emails about my class reunion. No biggie---it was just an idea that was "up in the air." I didn't think it would ever come to fruition.

Today, I got an Evite for the reunion. Was hoping that it would be around the wedding or honeymoon and that I would have a legit excuse [for myself] to not go. However, it is at a convenient time which I could attend. I have mixed emotions.

Even though high school was fun and there was little responsibility, when I think of those years in detail, I actually realize that I detested them. I had really bad skin and was overweight; this made me incredibly insecure and shy. I was incredibly focused on academics and was very anxiety-ridden. That has since changed, thank goodness. Most of all, most of the people I came into contact with at my high school were asses.

So the thought of paying $ to spend an evening with them at a shit bar [classy, eh?], just does not sit well with me. Sure, I could go to the reunion and show how much better I am now---secure with myself, confident, blah blah blah. But why give those people that pleasure? Why should I care what they think?

Still--part of me thinks that if I don't show up, people will think I am some kind of loser and have no life, or that I am embarrassed at what I have made of myself.

Again, I really shouldn't care what they think. But I think this is a constant struggle we all feel---- that we say we "don't care" what others think---- but in many ways, we do. We wouldn't be human if we didn't care what others thought and didn't want to seek their validation.

On a positive note, I saw a brief glimpse of this "special" on Debbie Gibson. It made me think we should definitely play "Lost In Your Eyes" during the dinner hour at the wedding. Rock on.

My Own Personal Flea Market

The inside of our apartment has turned into an "upscale" flea market of sorts. People have been sending wedding gifts and the giant Bed Bath and Beyond boxes are all over the place. I don't understand why a gigantic box is needed for a picture frame. People are idiots too. I know John's family is throwing me a shower--a "surprise" shower. Someone recently gave John a gift for us and the card was entitled "For Your Wedding Shower" and was dated 9/6/08. I'm so annoyed. I love surprises --mainly because I am near impossible to surprise. Lisa said, "No, no, that person is wrong. That's not the date!" but I think she was just trying to be sweet.

But all these wedding gifts just seem so silly. I don't "get" the need for pre-wedding gifts. I'm not complaining, but it just seems a bit much. Most of the gifts have been Michelle picks, which irritates John to no end: picture frames, tea kettles, toasting flutes, etc.

Besides the wedding, the schoolyear is beginning soon. I am going to miss my afternoons of leisure...mainly sitting on my ass, reading for a bit, watching a movie or two, doing some small shopping, driving aimlessly, etc.

The past few nights though, I've already felt fragments of autumn in the air---my favorite time of the year. My blood pressure is low as it is but once autumn arrives, it's like all heart palpitations leave my body. I am incredibly relaxed and mellow. Can't wait.

Teacher Clones

Ok, yes, I think that I have a job that's worthy of respect... I think I am "attempting" to lead the minds of tomorrow down the right paths today...yadda yadda yadda....

But I can't help but notice that so many fellow teachers are incredibly irritating.

I went out to lunch with some teachers last week. They all [seriously] had Coach purses with them (or Nine West for the subtler ones). They all had this silverish watch on. I don't know what it is called or what brand it is because I just look at my cell phone. Before the time of me carrying a cell phone, I'd politely go up to strangers and ask what time it was. I've never been a watch person. They all talk about their condos or townhouses. And then the rings... it's like every teacher I know in the age bracket from 25-30 has an engagement ring on her finger. And all the rings look similar... band of diamonds...and this one diamond jutting out in the middle.

I know I shouldn't waste my time looking [or writing...or thinking!] about other people. But... I don't know...I feel so different from so many of them. But I somehow do not think that makes me the odd one out. I think they are the odd ones.

I know we go on and on about materialism and consumption, but it just seems to be so true and evident. And it annoys me that I see so many people in my profession with those same kinds of beliefs. Don't get me wrong. I buy stuff... there's things I want. But I feel like "myself" most of the time, like me. I don't look around and feel like I am everyone else.

And this is NOT to say that I think I am unique or original. But surely, these girls who I lunched with cannot be THAT similar. It's just bizarre, that's all.

But I think that when you have "educators" acting like they're part of some clone wars experiment, people do lose respect for them.

Like some weird version of Professional Stepford Wives.