"Love is a Mix Tape"

A few years ago, Rob Sheffield wrote "Love is a Mix Tape." The title alone reeled me in and I purchased the book. Clinging to the awesomeness of the title and the excellence of the cover art (two very stupid, yet influential things), I read on, hoping that the book would get better. I never finished it. Its spine is still prominently featured on my bookshelf though. Can't underestimate the value of glancing at a great title and smiling.

So...I got to thinking about it tonight on my drive home....on 124 west or 24 west...have lived here 10+ years and still get confused.

If I were to make a mix tape of my past loves, what single song would represent each person?

I quickly realized that instead of a list of songs that would compose my mix tape, my list of songs would compose a short EP. There weren't too many past loves, especially if the main technicality is that for someone to be a past love, it has to have been someone with whom I had an actual relationship...

Paul-- high school boyfriend---

We started dating under false premises. Jeff, from our lunch table, told Paul that I liked him. I was in 11th grade and Paul was in 9th grade. I guess an 11th grade girl (even an overweight, acne-ridden girl)liking a 9th grade minion was seen as a something to go after.

Paul immediately asked me out (I didn't know about the whole Jeff thing and thought Paul liked me). Despite not being attracted to him and thinking that we had absolutely nothing in common, I said yes. Another word for yes in situations like these is desperation.

Our first "date" was after school by the bay. We walked on the Ocean Gate boardwalk and sat on the sand. Instantly, Paul lunged forward toward my mouth; all I noticed was his hawk-like nose diving toward me (accurate sight--friends in high school called him "Bird" because of that prominent feature). After he tried kissing me, I replied, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

A bit of a rough start to a relationship...

We dated for 1 1/2 years. It was a "passionate" two years...like the stuff that Sunday night Lifetime movies are made of. Our personalities just didn't click. I yelled all the time; he basically did whatever I told him.

If I had to pick one song to represent this relationship it would be Firehouse's "Sleeping with You." Irony is that in 18 months of dating, we never technically "did it"-- everyone assumed we did but nope...I held out:)

I remember Paul liked an interesting range of music: STP, Alice in Chains, Cannibal Corpse,.... and remnants of his dad's tastes: Firehouse, George Thorogood, Alice Cooper, etc...

He did make me a mix tape once...and I recall it being an odd combination of songs, which is what a mix tape is generally all about.

"Sleeping with You" may be a song that seems to have sexual innuendo in it, but I always thought of it innocently-- as in sleeping beside someone and just enjoying the peace of the moment.

Even though I wouldn't call our relationship perfect, it was my first real relationship and a bunch of other silly, innocent firsts came with it... this song stands out in my mind as track 1, Paul.

......