(I wrote this Wednesday afternoon, at 4:30...I didn't post it from work because I am CUH-RAZE and figure that you shouldn't complain about work and post it during work time...at a public school ...)
End of day and head feels like it is pressed in between a vise. Trying to have robot-like efficiency and still failing to complete all necessary tasks. I’d love to have a blood pressure machine in my classroom. I’d measure blood pressure levels at the beginning and end of class, finding twisted amusement in how 14 year olds can aggravate me. The sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard--- writing lesson plans and composing carefully worded emails to parents--- that sound annoys me to no end. It’s the sound of franticness, but ultimately leads to the same outcome. Some people leave the building as soon as we are permitted; in my classroom (“lair”) I can heard them exit their rooms, as the sound of door slamming echoes through the empty halls. Little things annoy me--- the rust stain on the classroom carpeting because the summer crew was too lazy to lift up a heavy metal bookcase before shampooing the carpet, how kids can complain about any particular element at any given time (It’s too hot in here, it’s too cold in here, this novel is boring, this novel is too hard, I hate reading), how kids can be ungrateful… I constantly think in my mind, I hope my children are not like most of the students that I have. I sometimes, often, feel like an idiot for continuing in this profession. Jersey is expensive, but if I lived somewhere else I truly think I would be content working at a bookstore or other small retailer, clocking in at a reasonable hour in the morning, clocking out at another reasonable evening hour, and then going home and enjoying….life.
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