Freedom...for two days

Yes!!! I am done with my final project for my grad school class. It was a pain and there was no possibility of bullshitting anything within the project, which poses an extra challenge.

Feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...but obviously my mind is still too mushy right now to make up non-cliched statements. I still haven't met with the professor yet and I am sure changes will have to be made...but for two days, I can relax.

Feel like sitting down and watching a stupid romantic comedy. Actually watched a movie called Imagine Me and You this morning (pre-paper ritual....otherwise known as procrastination). The movie was British and was about a couple that recently got married. Rachel [main character] begins feeling attraction toward the female florist who helped out with the wedding, Luce. What I liked about it was that it didn't take the American "comedic" take of how film addresses people discovering their newfound sexuality. The movie was realistic and the intimate scenes with the women were innocent and non-gratuitous. I now also have a new hair role model...Piper Perabo's hair in the movie is awesome...cascading curls, but the kind that look like they require no effort at all.

Can't believe Christmas is around the corner either. Haven't started shopping. Someone in my grad class said she has been so busy with class that she told her family that they should celebrate Christmas in January...I'm beginning to think the same thing.

Ew. Ick. Gross.

Was coming out from Moe’s tonight (Thursday night is lazy night--- takeout food of some kind + an episode of The Office). Had on my favorite pair of brown “work pants” and my winter coat---a Land’s End men’s coat. I don’t think it necessarily looks like a guy’s coat but it certainly is not feminine. Also had on my comfy clog-like shoes. I seem to boycott shoes that do not simply slip on your foot—no straps, buckles, laces, or any of that.

As I walked to my car, this scraggly-looking guy came up to me. His celebrity look-alike would be Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. Longish, frizzy, brown hair pulled into a loose ponytail… beard…heavyset. He asked, “Do you know the time?” Being totally aware of my surroundings,…because I’ve seen far too many news stories about being approached in a parking lot, having your “guard” down, and then something bad happening… I replied that I didn’t have a watch but that I estimated it was around 8:15. I started walking away. Then, he said, “Have you ever thought of modeling?”

LIKE I HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT THE WHOLE MODELING SCAM ON TV.

I tried to remain cordial and quickly said, “I am a full-time teacher and student”— He asked, “You’ve never thought about modeling?” This was being said to someone in a black men’s coat, brown pants, and Easy Spirit-esque shoes. Hilarious. No make-up either. And exiting a fast food place with a giant bag of food.

You’d think he would walk up to someone with Uggs, low-rise jeans, and a Juicy hoodie instead.

The most “typical” part… when he left, he went over to his vehicle…a mini-van.

I was so freaked out. On my drive home, I was literally saying, “Ew, fucking gross, ick” repeatedly, out loud.

Black Friday Vampire

John had to work today and had to wake up @ 430AM! I don't know--on days like these, I feel guilty sleeping in when he has to work and deal with a line of 100+ people all vying for the 40 Nintendo Wiis that are on hand.

I was looking @ sale circulars last night and Kohls had some great stuff on sale. I thought, I'll wake up with John and go to Kohls...why not? I SERIOUSLY did not think it would be crowded. Got to Kohls @ 5...the parking lot was packed, there were no shopping carts left, and @ the jewelry counter they gave you numbered tickets as if you were on line @ the deli.

All went smoothly. I know Adbusters is hosting Buy Nothing Day today but, honestly, I will be buying gifts for Christmas. Might as well buy them today and save some money.

After Kohls I went to Target and made it back to the apartment before the official time of sunrise.

No more shopping today.

What I noticed @ 5AM was the "comraderie" at the store. People were polite and were sharing holiday tales with each other on line. The lady in front of me was telling me how she was buying some things for herself, "for once." The woman behind me told me an anecdote of last year--her friend and her went to Kohls, Macys, Pennys, Target, etc and were back to their houses by 10 AM.

Despite the HUGE line....I'd estimate there were 100 people in front of me on line @ the registers.... I somehow think that there was this courtesy in the air because we had all ventured to Kohls at an insane hour.

But there's no way I'd want to be in any shopping mall later today.

Grading sucks

I remember knowing people when I grew up that LOVED to help the teacher grade papers...i.e objective multiple choice tests. I mean, they truly got euphoric when they were allowed to write the BIG C's [for correct] and x out wrong answers in red ink (This was in the early 90s before the purple-ink-let's-not-hurt-self-esteem-w/-red-ink days). I never was that type.

And now... sitting in front of the computer on Sunday night at 6:15, I still am not one of those types. I detest grading tests, quizzes, and written work. Multiple choice quizzes are a waste of time because the kids could just as easily grade the quizzes and we have to go over them in class anyway. Must manage time better so I can have the students grade them. Right now I am also grading book reviews that my 8th graders wrote. Grading them is completely aggravating because most of them ignore marks/comments that I suggested upon reading their rough drafts. I don't get it... is it laziness? is it ageism (I'm one of the youngest 8th gr teachers and I honestly believe some of those kids think I do not know what I am talking about when it comes to writing, etc)? Is it not caring?

Whatever it is, it's headache-inducing. Maybe I care too much...that's probably it. For instance, when I am grading and notice 3 or 4 students in a row who did badly on the quiz, I put the folder of quizzes in my bag and ignore it...because I feel i have taught concepts well enough and failure pisses me off.

Just have to stop thinking so much, I think. Wish I could be like the teacher across the hall. She always has an immaculate desk, free of papers or reminder-notes. At the end of the day, bam!, she's out the door at 2:30....

I haven't reached robot levels yet.

Peeing, Procrastination, The Notebook

Peeing...procrastination...The Notebook...all of the dots will be connected soon.

I usually hate starting out writings with quotes; it just seems like the way a weak writer would start something out. I found this quote online and liked it though...

"Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.” (Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby)

Have a paper due for my class. I've done the observations for the paper and have tons of pages of sloppy notes to prove it. I just haven't felt like sitting done and writing the paper. I decided to go for the Masters of Reading b/c I got sick of analyzing novels and writing literary papers. In the end, I'll do no good to the world if I can analyze a Kafka book or some other piece of lit that someone else has inevitably already taken apart and put back together.

The paper for this class is annoying though. Statistics... I hate statistics. They're so boring to write about. You can't throw in any vivid adjectives where there are statistics.

Back to the subject line.

So...today...I SO did not want to start this paper. This morning I was purposely consuming massive amounts of water so as to make myself have to pee...thus making myself not be able to sit down at the computer, "hunker down," and concentrate.

At 1:oo, I finally decided to leave the house and go to the library to work on the paper. Wrote close to 7 pages but feel that I am nowhere near done. Worse, I worry that some of the 7 pages I already wrote is repetitive drivel.

When I got home, I decided to reward myself for my hard work...and eyestrain. Needed a movie that required no thought at all. Popped The Notebook into the DVD player. I just got to the scene where I always feel the need to roll my eyes.... Allie and Noah have reunited... Noah tells Allie he wrote her every day for a year and that "It wasn't over." Immediately after, he says "It still [emphasis] isn't over" and pulls her into a kiss.

Cheesiness!

Yet...I'll still watch the movie to the end...

Death fairy is officially dead

I bought my Halloween costume a few weeks ago..."death fairy." It's made by a company called "Fairylicious." Lame! The costume has this black, "pleather"ish top, velvety purple skirt, and black wings. I also purchased the matching death tiara, black eyelashes, and fishnets. It's kind of cheesy but I thought it'd be fun.

I tried the costume on... damn, online purchases!...The costume looks bad. Others might think it looks ok but there's no way I can walk around the city, or anyplace else, and feel comfy with myself. It's too late to return it and I think that's dumb anyway...it was on sale and I CAN wear it next year...if I lose weight.

This is the mantra that I often say. I don't get why food has such a hold on me. It's not even that I eat that badly. I just eat large portions. It's ritualistic. I go the cabinet, get some almonds or other seemingly healthy snack. I get a small portion and then close the bag/container lid. 1 minute later I go back to the kitchen, go into the cabinet, and do the same process again.

I got fake nails last month and have not bitten my nails since. Maybe I need one of those Hannibal Lector face masks to prevent myself from eating.

I get so mad with myself. I don't think I am that heavy but then I try on something that looks "gigantic," and it fits me snugly. Then I feel like garbage.

My excuse right now is classes. I am taking a grad class and FINALLY am completing the coursework. I am busy. I am not one of those people who thrives on busy-ness. I can have crazy, psychotically busy days for 2 or 3 days, but not routinely. I don't understand people who can live their lives, full time, like that. Things should be balanced. I think of Jack Nicholson in The Shining...when he types "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Had my fun this weekend...movies/dinner on Friday with John. Darjeeling Limited sucked. I fell asleep. It was so slow. Good use of color and awesome soundtrack though. Fuddruckers' hamburgers rock! Saturday was a comedy show in the city. Took the bus there all by myself and met Lisa there. Felt like it was a rite of passage because the idea of traveling to the city alone freaks me out.

Now is time for work...and stopping with the petty whining over some dumb Halloween costume.

I've taken out last year's pirate costume from my closet. Think I'll have some corpse-like makeup and be a dead pirate... someone's got to counterbalance all the girls out there who will be dressed up as slut bumblebees, nurses, Maria Antoinette, referees, beergirls, and who knows what else.

What a Day

I am so glad this day is done...or at least that the "work-related" part of the day is done. It's past 6:00 and I just got home from work. Not a big deal to most people, but I got to work at 7. Have observations of other teachers that I have to do for grad school...thus, I lose my preps and have to do stuff after school. Am also being observed myself by the principal next week...so that whole nervousness/anxiety scenario is starting up. When he observes me, his face looks stone-cold and completely bored. I try to block him out of my view and just pretend he isn't in the room. His comments are always the same... class-management related and "Why did you pick THIS lesson? Why did you choose THOSE vocabulary words?"Annoying.

Am going out with a friend tomorrow and we made preliminary plans. Had my cell phone off at work. Got home and she had left 2 messages...both with tones like, "Call me back NOW," and an email complete with capitals. It's not like I am going to ditch her. I generally stay committed to plans once I make them. People piss me off.

My 8th graders are bastards. Luckily, it's only one class that is really horrendous. On Monday, I am taking a colleague's suggestion and giving that class BRUTALLY boring seatwork. If anyone talks or objects, out they go. Tuesday, I can start off with "Things can be how they were yesterday or they could be different...blah blah blah."

And I've been reading my students' journals and they're all so obsessed with money and being rich. I know a lot of people dream of being rich...but these kids write as if they deserve it. I don't know ...money does not solve all problems... moreso, it creates them...

Today is just a day where I feel inclined to put a temporary bumper sticker on my car... PEOPLE SUCK.

Gyno Talk

John makes fun of me for going to Planned Parenthood. I guess the "gist" of it is that he thinks that at my age I should go to a real gynocologist of my own. I did try that a few years ago, in fact. The lady made feel comfortable and at her office I got the "luxury" of a robe-like piece of clothing instead of a HUGE paper towel/loincloth. Also, the office was painted nicely and felt overly cozy.

Then the doctor changed the insurance she accepted; mine was no longer accepted.

So back to Planned Parenthood.

I really have no "issue" with going there. And I feel comfortable asking questions because I know the doctors and nurses there have heard everything. They should really collaborate and write some amusing memoir; something with a title like Pap Talk.

Anyway, so I just got off the phone with Planned Parenthood...have to schedule my annual. It's so annoying and I hate it, but it's only once a year so I guess it's not too bad. And of course I hate it---who would like it?

But the receptionist made me laugh. After scheduling my appointment, she said, "Ok, we'll see you then. And nothing in your vagina for 24 hours."

Hilarious.

Angst and Autumn

Autumn's mad
She wants to come on through
but is stopped by relentless summer...

I scribbled that semi-teen-angsty "ditty" on a sheet of paper while driving to class on Thursday night. Torrential rain was falling---and of course, people were driving like idiots [mainly the SUV drivers]. Thursday felt like autumn had finally arrived. The temperatures were finally near normal and it was as if the rainstorm's intent was to wash away any remnants of summer.

Now it's Saturday night and it's actually cold outside. Now shall begin my adolescent behavior---refusing to wear a coat or jacket until it is neccessary; for instance, if snow is on the ground. I detest coats and jackets. They're so uncomfortable. Hoodies are my friends.

Hopefully, there will be an official frost soon. John and I went apple picking last Wednesday. We were so excited to go. I came home quickly, at 2:30ish... we drove over to Riamede Farm and there was hardly anyone there. We had the place to ourselves. Most of the apples we like weren't ready to be picked though. Plus, it felt like 90 degrees outside. The whole experience was very anti-climactic.

As soon as the first frost arrives, the Mutsu apples will be ready. These are our faves. They're GIANT apples... think along the lines of genetic mutations.

A website (Nature Hills) describes it as follows: The Mutsu Apple has a moderately sweet flavor with firm, juicy white flesh. Its skin color is a yellowish green with an orange blush. The Mutsu apple is also known as Crispin. This apple is vigorous, fairly early, and the fruit is large and oblong shaped. It is excellent for fresh eating, sauces, pies, and baking. This apple stores and keeps well.

Sounds amazing, right? The description also sounds partly pornographic. Hmm.

Ride the Wind

"Ride the Wind" is absolutely my favorite song by Poison. It's cheesy and attempts to discuss motorcycle riding in a "deep" context. Sample lyric: "Hearts of fire/ Streets of stone/
Modern warriors/ Saddle iron horses of chrome." You get my point.

Today Jaime and I trekked into NYC to go bikeriding in Central Park. Central Park amazes me because it is just so huge. Secondly, you feel like you're simultaneously "in" the city, but also "out" of the city, in some exotic world where urban life and nature mesh together. We rode bikes around and me, being the scaredycat I am, kept riding the brakes whenever we'd approach a steep hill. There was a wedding in progress at one of the junctures we crossed--some lady had on a navy blue and white striped blazer (nautical theme...with a gold anchor embroidered on one of the front pockets), LOOSE black leather pants, and navy blue shoes. Odd.

We saw some old people gathered on a bench, reading through the coupons and foodstore advertisements in the Sunday paper.

One performer was under the bridge. He was dressed in this pseudo-Native American outfit and played the violin while singing in a mournful voice.

There was a juggler too...and someone painted up as the Statue of Liberty.

It was such a beautiful day out and as I rode my bike around, I could feel the wind dance across my face. This is such a lame comparison but I kind of felt like the Pee Wee Herman character in Pee Wee's Big Adventure---just riding around on a bike, slowly riding along, with a stupid, gleeful expression on my face.... minus the future impending porn theatre/masturbation charges.

The only unpleasant aspect of today was at the end of our biketrip. We were putting the bikes into the car and while taking the front tire off, my thumbnail came off. Fake nails suck. Now I see why "girly girls" never seem to do sports, heavy manual labor, etc... all I did was pull a lever on the side of the tire and the nail popped off. It quickly danced across the NYC sidewalk, only to be rescued by me and tucked away in my wallet. Argh.

Back to my "roots"

I was only 6 years old when my Dad died, so I don't remember all too much about him. I remember that he had a bunch of colorful glass paperweights. I remember a thick-yarned knit cap he used to wear. I remember when he taught me how to draw fluffy clouds.

My mom has told me stories about how my dad used to go to garage sales all the time. When he passed away, she said the basement was FILLED with his stuff. She proceeded to pay someone money to haul all the stuff away. In retrospect, that kind of pisses me off---what could I have done back then? I didnt even understand what was happening.

I like to think that even though he wasn't around when I was growing up, that certain qualities of my dad have been passed down to me...like... my current fondness for glass paperweights... and my enjoyment of garage sales and fleamarkets.

I used to go to garage sales all the time in high school. I'd buy stupid stuff. Case in point: I remember buying a felt beet... I hung it on my bedroom wall. And I was obsessed with bright green and pink paisley/60s prints. The garage sale habit ended after college. This apartment is small enough as it is---no need to bring in more clutter---and the felt beet has long been gone.

Today, on a whim, I went to this rummage sale @ a local church. It SUCKED...random junk in boxes, unlabeled. I drove around for awhile and went to a few more garage sales. I love it because it's a sneak peek into someone's home and life. At this one house, there were a bunch of CDs like Offspring, Collective Soul, Green Day, etc. I guessed they had to belong to someone my age...I had most of those CDs in high school. At another house, I got to talking to the owner, this older and feisty lady, and she was telling me most of the stuff for sale at her house was stuff she got at other garage sales. The piles of STUFF on her lawn seemed endless.

I hate the garage sales where nothing has a price on it. Argh.

I'm home now and I was pretty conservative with my purchases... the buy of the day? Definitely these tacky, gold (spray painted?) eagle bookends :)

Also...I found this seashell-themed stationary set that I used to have when I was younger. I knew it was the same one b/c the company was Olympia. When I was 10 or 11, I used to go door-to-door selling stuff from Olympia sales club: wrapping paper, stationary, knickknacks, etc. You'd win prizes for selling a certain amount. It was like being Willie Loman, but the 10 year old version.

Being a kid now sucks... you're not "allowed" to sell door-to-door b/c of possible "bad people." Essentially, most of us are good people...or so I like to think.

Hell Must've Frozen Over and Maybe Now Pigs Can Fly Too

First, I got highlights to my hair in the summer. This seemed MONUMENTAL to most people who know me because I am very low-maintenance. The highlights weren't a big deal though; Amy is a hairdresser and finally got me to cave in and change my hair. Before the highlights, the last time I dyed my hair was when I used Sun-In in 8th grade and turned a dark brown head of hair into orange.

Yesterday, I entered the dark side. I got fake nails.

I'm turning into a girly-girl... well, as girly-girl as I am capable of.

The thing is, I've always bitten my nails. I don't ever do it in front of other people (b/c I know it's a gross habit), but I'll bite my nails if I am nervous or bored. My mom used to say I'd never get a boyfriend because of my nails---- no one's ever complained. My grandma used to say,"You'll never get a job with nails like those." Um, job? Check.

The other day at the library, a patron said something to me. He said that I'm a "beeewww-tiful" girl and "Why you bite your nails?" I don't know... it got to me.

So yesterday I went to the salon and got them put on. The lady who did my nails said I was "special," and not in a complimentary way. I had to get gel nails..whatever those are...because my nails (more classifiable as "nubs" ) are so weak and acrylics wouldn't stay on.

At this point,
1] I HATE having fake nails...I have this fear that they will fall off and I won't have a tube of crazy glue handy. And why should you have to walk around fearing that you won't have the necessary pseudo-permanent adherence when you need it?
2] Having these nails is a pain in the ass. It takes 2x as long to button shirts, open things, put on jewelry, etc.
3] I'd rather stop biting my nails altogether than pay ripoff amounts at the salon...and instead spend my money on books and CDs.

I once had fake nails in high school. A friend put them on for me. On the walk home from her house, I began ripping them off.

If I didn't pay for these nails, they'd be in the garbage now too.

These nails are temporary... but I swear...I'll never bite my nails again...

Deli, deli, deli!

So annoying. I keep losing stuff. I somehow lost my Montclair parking hangtag, despite the fact that the hangtag is ALWAYS in my car. I somehow lost my student ID too. I don't know...sometimes I am ditzy when it comes to putting things in their right spot. The hangtag will probably surface under the sofa and the ID card will probably be in under the pseudo-dining room table.

Just got back from the foodstore. The deli area cracks me up. If I'm ever feeling down, I think I will simply drive over to a local supermarket and go in the deli section, waiting on line. It's amusing.

I LOVE the people who request samples. "Hmm, I'd like the swiss. Can I try some?" It's generally always old people or fat people that make this request. I guess what I think is amusing is that someone would need to taste the deli meats. Frankly, unless you're getting Snowball turkey (ick...how can you eat something that has an sexually disgusting meaning in the Urban dictionary?), there's not that much difference with deli meats.

Tonight, there was this "little guy" on the deli line. He kept getting 1/4 lb of this, 1/2 lb of that, 1/4 lb of this. He put the salami in the shopping cart and his lady [a GIANT compared to him] exclaimed, "You can't put that there. The bananas will smell like meat." I had a smile across my face. People are so odd.

Then there's the crazy people who request the deli people to slice the meats thinner and THINNER---these requests usually occur after the person has had 5 or 6 samples of the meat.

It's just the little, idiosyncratic things that people do that make me laugh---the type of things that arise out of the most seemingly boring places.

Me: the posh, Euro-trash version

We got the latest issue of Radar magazine...The magazine is devoted to pop culture junk. I'd say it's comparable to People or US Weekly, but I feel that it is slightly more "educational" and "intelligent" than those magazines.

Anyway, Posh Spice...oh, sorry...Victoria Beckham...was on the cover with her hubby. 1] I generally am not attracted to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed "hunky" type but David Beckham is HOT. 2] Victoria Beckham looks alien-esque. Her breasts are ridiculously large, in contrast with the rest of her body. Her hair is curved toward her face as if it is controlled by some kind of mechanical device. Also, her head is large. And she always has a stupid look on her face.

So...anyway...

We have a wedding to go to at the end of the month. Instead of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," I feel like my mantra should be, "Always a wedding guest, NEVER a bridesmaid." I've been to so many weddings in the past 3 years. I'm happy for friends/family and all but weddings are a bit annoying. Getting dressed up is fun but usually involves spending $$$; I'd rather buy a bunch of books and CDs. Secondly, the whole monetary wedding gift is so expensive. It's a large chunk out of your wallet if you have a few weddings within a year.

I pray that NO ONE ever asks me to be a bridesmaid. I won't be offended. I'll be thankful b/c it seems like a pain in the ass.

Ok, wedding, wedding.

We were down in AC for John's sister's birthday. The whole family went down there... it wasn't well-planned and we didn't do all that much except for eating fattening food. I did partake in two bubble baths with scorching hot water, so that was nice.

So we went to the outlets in AC and, on a whim, went into the BCBG store. Everyone that worked there was dressed in black and had super stylish hair. It reminded me of that SNL skit where Will Ferrell and co. work in a high fashion store- it's the cell phone skit.

Got some help trying on dresses but nothing seemed good. The one guy kept bringing me size 6s and 8s and when I would say, I'm nowhere near a size 6 ot 8," he'd act surprised and be like, "No way!" PLEASE...I'm not putting myself down...I'm a size 12 and I'm ok with that. Any idiot could look at me and know I am not a size 6.

Ok... "let me make this long story short." So I tried on several dresses. One was awesome but super casual. Then...the glitzy dress. It has empire waist, flows OUT instead of being clingy, and is an "adventurous" pale chocolate color. You have to understand, when I dress up I ALWAYS take refuge in the color black. Also, this dress has beading work by the empire waist.

Contemplated buying it, had them put it on hold for me, then walked around a bit more. 20 minutes later, I bought the dress. When I told John and his cousin where I got the dress, his cousin said, "That store is Euro-trash." Well, then,....I guess I'm Euro-Trash :)

3 day work weeks..how it should be

This 3-day workweek is fabulous...it's times like these that I am thankful I don't live in the MidWest or those other "square-shaped" states. Jersey is diverse... and because of that diversity...schools close for more holidays...Or at least my school closes... Because of Rosh Hashanah, we got this Thursday and Friday off.

3 day workweeks are fabulous. Why can't work be like this all the time?

I just feel so full of energy this morning...and I am restored back to life b/c our phone is working again too. There's been this technology stormcloud hovering over my head... anything technological has just been breaking on me lately. The other day our phone just died. The funniest thing was calling the phone company and hearing the customer service rep read from a sheet of paper in a monotone voice: "Yes, ma'am, I understand your disappointment at not having a phone line. Please listen and I can assist you with testing the line and seeing if the connection is bad." She also proceeded to tell me to "make sure" everything was plugged in because maybe that was the problem. Argh.

But now this morning the phone is working again.... it wasnt really like I missed it... but I do like the feel of a "house phone" against my ear better than the feel of a cell phone.

Am SO content with this weather...no more gross 100% humidity days and air that you could "cut with a knife." What a stupid cliche.

It's September and even though it is back-to-school time, fun stuff is on the way....apple picking [last year John and I bought 50 pounds of apples...and ate them ALL...and did NOT make apple pie or anything...just regular apple-eating...that's how we roll]. Soon the leaves will be changing and it will be sweater time... I LOVE sweaters... and Halloween is just around the corner. Once again, I face the conflict of only seeing sluttified costumes online. Might be a butterfly. VERY girly costume, I know, but ever since Amy highlighted my hair...I've felt more and more like a girly-girl everyday.

Preppin' and Steppin'

Less than 12 hours until I see the "little brats" again. That's what a member of our school's construction crew referred to the students as. Can't say I completely disagree. Looked over my class lists and didn't see any kids that I am completely dreading to have in class. Do have "B." again... he is this "portly" child who is completely lazy. Which came first, the portliness or the laziness, I ask? His handwriting is horrible and there seems to be some motor issues involved, but I just want to chalk it up to obesity and laziness ;-) I also have the "exhibitionist" in class...again. I wasn't graced with his presence in 7th grade, but as an 8th grader, he is enrolled in my class. Hopefully, I won't have to send him to the nurse again in order for her to tell him to stop rubbing himself during class. If I have to send him out again this year, I think I will just flip and be like, "Get the fuck out, now."

So, I am nervous, moreso anxious, about starting back to school tomorrow. The classroom is ready and I think I made the classroom space more logical than ever. Good feng shui... maybe. I have seating charts and a few extra things to do before tomorrow but instead of doing them after in-service today, I came home and relaxed a bit. Then went to the first step class for the new session. The instructor was obsessed with making us do this one particular step pattern that was hellish. She was walking around and "monitoring," and commanding us like a drill sergeant. Sadistic people should think of careers as exercise instructors.

After step, headed to the shoestore and to Marshalls...ANYTHING to not have to think about tomorrow. It's not that I am completely dreading work. Year 6 shouldn't be too bad... it's just getting back into the whole grind. I like the unstructured element of my summers. Now it's back to waking up early, making lunch, wearing "nice" clothes, grading quizzes/responses, going to faculty meetings, calling parents...argh.

But...looking on the bright side, next week's only a 3-day week... and it's payday too!

Back to school...

I can't EVER complain about having summer vacation. I thought about this today as I drove home in 5:00 traffic. Peering in other car windows (because why should I keep my eye on the road?), I noticed tons of sad/pissed off/annoyed faces. Color is washed from people's complexions and they just sit, stone-faced, waiting for the next traffic light to change or the next car lane to move a bit faster. Working 9-5 has to SUCK...especially during summertime when there's beautiful weather.

I keep hearing people say, "The summer went so fast; I can't believe it's over." People always make statements like that---statements about how quickly time passes. Come October, people will comment, "I can't believe how the weather has changed." Come November, you'll hear "Can you believe it is already November? Before you know it, it'll be Christmas."

I feel like summer passed at just the right pace...not super fast, but certainly not at snail's rate slowness either.

So, summer wrap up. Went to Ocean City for the last week of June. Enjoyed some beach time and pigged out on every indulgence known to man. Spent July taking a summer class which, for the most part, was "painless." Went to the beach 2 more times, all day and for Sunday night movies-on-the-beach. Went to see Poison! For August, went to the beach 2 more times. Saw Lisa for the first time in a full year and things were just like they always were---good times. Went karaoking at a gay bar---rite of passage. Read a few books. Worked part-time at the library. Went to the Def Leppard concert...the last "real" tailgating extravaganza before the whole Ozzfest arrests/ two deaths debacle. If PNC gets rid of the tailgating concept altogether, I will be so pissed. In between these "big events," was more relaxation.

It was a good, relaxing summer. I wish I had gone to the beach more though. I swear, when I lived in Toms River, I never took advantage of being so close to the beach. Now that I am up in North Jersey, I miss it so much...

Feel semi-ready for next week. I can't believe it is my 6th year in the same teaching position! That makes me feel a lot more comfortable. While I am always adapting lesson plans/ideas, it's good to KNOW the material I am teaching and have past experiences with ideas on how I will teach that material. This year, I am thinking about having a class reading blog. I don't want it to be a graded activity...just an arena where students can post comments on favorite books, movie adaptations, comment on movie adaptations, songs, etc. Also might incorporate Thornton Wilder's Our Town into the Reading course. Am looking into new teen-ish books to add to my course. Am not exactly excited about starting work again...I like sitting around, reading, and sleeping in...but if I have to do something, teaching works for me.

Don't plan on sitting in benny traffic this weekend but next weekend... I think I will make a beach trek. Gotta keep up with the tan:)

Warcraft Ben

Before delving into Warcraft Ben, let me just say that E! channel is playing Pleasantville for probably the 10th time this week. I LOVE this movie....

Warcraft Ben has been a "fixture" at the library where I work for over a week---it's official. Last Monday night, during my 5-8pm shift, I noticed him. The remainder of the week he came into the library for hours on end. It was bizarre---I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and so would Warcraft Ben. Sitting at a table smack dab in the middle of the library, hovered over his computer, eyes squinted to the screen, face contorted into a look of intensity. He had greyish crazy hair---think Albert Einstein. He had greyish crazy hair, but this week he got a haircut and looks less wacky and even "handsome." He's young...I can't pinpoint the age though; I'm horrible at that. Not young as in 20s, but young as in he has grey hair but isnt 40+. Maybe mid 30s. Wow, I guess I can tell I am getting older if mid 30s if I easily classify mid 30s as young. He usually has on a dress shirt and khakis, as well as the type of blazer or jacket that a university professor would wear.

Last week, toward the end of the week, I finally got a glimpse of what he was so engrossed in. I saw a colorful moving screen, chatting at the bottom of the screen, and ... recognized it as Warcraft. Whereas I previously thought he was a weirdo, I now had some sort of perspective on him. John plays Warcraft and is on the computer ALL the time. I, in a smartass way, asked, "Can't you just play for an hour and then stop?" He went into a diatribe on how the game is played in real-world-time and just because you stop playing doesn't the game stops. I guess I can relate...kind of...despite the fact that it was released in the early 90s, I still am quite obsessed with Tetris. I play it on John's DS Lite. At this point, I've destroyed the DS Lite and as of yesterday it wasnt working. I could play Tetris on the Gamecube but for some insane reason, I quite enjoy ruining my eyesight on the 4" x 4" screen.

Back to Ben.

Saw him again today. The guy is totally nice and "normal" with the exception of the fact that he comes to the library in work clothes and is playing Warcraft all day. Can't figure it out. Skipping out from work to go to library and play Warcraft? Doesnt make sense. Playing Warcraft at library to hide addiction from girlfriend? Maybe...

Anyway, the guy fascinates me. Today someone sneezed and amidst the SILENCE of the library, Warcraft Ben said "Bless you," loudly. When he left tonight ...at closing time...with the rest of the staff...he got into a bright red Acura sporty car. Weird. I would've taken him for a Corolla or Prius type of guy.

And...his name isn't really Ben. Just my name for him. I always envision Benjamins as having curly hair... and just being calm, introverted types. So until his real name is exposed, he shall remain as Warcraft Ben.

No time, there's never any time

Quick pop-culture question. Who uttered these "famous" lines:
" No time/ There's never any time!/ I don't have time to study/ I''ll never get into Stanford/
I'll let everyone down/ I'm so confused."

An even bigger hint is here:


Damn, I love Saved by the Bell. I feel so bad for kids today. They don't have any fun, cheesy "teen" shows to watch. All that's on now is Laguna Beach, My Sweet 16, and other crap.

It's getting down to the end of summer now. One week left until we have our in-service days. 2 in-service days and then the kids come back on Thursday and Friday. Just ordered a bunch of cheesy (but only semi-cheesy) posters and bookmarks online. Am beginning to update my course outline and get other teaching materials ready.

I would never complain about not having enough time-- 2 months+ seems "sufficient." I just feel like I didn't get that much done this summer. I guess that's kind of the point of summer, relaxing and having a good time. I did work a little bit and took a summer class, so I guess that is accomplishment of some sort. I just can't believe that this time next week I will have to wake up early and get back into the whole Monday-Friday grind.

So I guess what I'm saying is that in times like these, I sometimes do "connect" with SBTB's Jessie Spano... even with the whole caffeine addiction thing. I'm not a coffee drinker so in the mornings I sometimes "rev" up with caffeine pills... A lame addiction indeed. This summer, however, I was classy and got into drinking Red Bull... I'll have to stock up for next week.

RAIN!!!!

Once again, another day filled with rain. Rainy days crack me up. People go into a frenzy. The roads are suddenly chaotic. Stores are filled with people because god forbid you stay inside and "read" on a bad-weather day. Then there's the other side of the spectrum. People who think that if rain hits their body that it will somehow turn them to ice or a stone statue. Those people stay at home ALL day, watching channel 61 weather channel, silently urging the rain to stop.

Today I read for a little bit. Am now reading Brighton Beach Memoirs. John's mom always talk about it so I decided to read it. I like it. Yes, what a thought-provoking statement. What I like best is how when I read it, I can hear each of the characters in my mind. Yes, I know that this is an element of reading---the whole imagination "thang"---but if the author writes like shit, then it is less likely you will be able to imagine scenes and characters' voices. Will have to try to some more Neil Simon plays.

Also made a trek to Kohls for some "back to school" shopping. So did the rest of NJ. The store wasnt crowded; that wasn't the problem. It was just that every piece of clothing that I liked was not available in my size.

Clothing stores, in general, annoy me. I think because more Americans are oevrweight that the stores are adjusting their sizes. For the most part, I take a medium or even sometimes a small in shirts. There is NO WAY that in reality I am a medium...but I think clothing stores are just making clothing bigger and putting smaller size #s on them.

Another thing that frustrates me is the whole misses, ladies, womens, petites, juniors, etc categories. Why are junior sizes odd numbers and "regular" sizes even numbers? I just try on whatever I like--keep it simple...kind of.

I don't know- I have this extremely dumb theory about obesity and "years ago." When I think back to when I was a kid, they didnt have tons of LARGE sizes. They didn't have teen plus-size stores such as Torrid. I recall once having to buy Husky-brand boys' jeans because they didnt have my size in girls' jeans. In short, years ago, if you were fat, you were stylistically screwed.

Now you can be a size 26W and find "trendy" clothing. I think that it's good...but also bad. My stupid theory is that because there were not tons of readily available plus-size clothing stores years ago that it somehow kept people in a certain body-frame category. I don't know if the so-called theory makes sense.

Anyway, I ended up getting a skirt for work (size 6...HELLO...i am not "really" a size 6). And I got a shirt for John. I love shopping for guys' shirts... so easy...small, med, large, XL...no intelligence required.

On an ending note, I have a strange urge to hear Danzig's "Mother." I might just finally cave in to Itunes and buy something. Usually I prefer just buying a whole album...but..not in this case.