Mall Men

The past two days have been thoroughly entertaining, from a sociological standpoint. Going to the mall, Walmart, and various other shopping venues, I have been amused by the different shopping methods of males and females.

When it comes to shopping, women "graze." Even if we wait until the last minute, our last minute is at least 7 days before Christmas. We tend to scope out the various gift options, going from store to store, but not immediately buying anything. We take several days to get the git buying task complete and then go on the quest for little trinkets or doodads to add to the gifts when we wrap them. We'll go into a gigantic store to buy a single hologram ribbon or some other "individualized" item.

When it comes to shopping, men wait until the last possible moment. Conceptually, they attempt to get as many gifts in as few stores as possible. Many of them have a blank look across their faces, comparable to the ubiquitous "deer in the headlights" look. Whereas women will shop around for the best possible prices, men will frantically grab items off the shelves, willing to pay whatever they have to pay because they realize they procrastinated. Most interesting is the line inside various jewelry stores. I know nothing about jewelry, but I'd think that buying jewelry in a smaller town store would be significantly better than some chain store like Helzberg. If you walk past mall jewelry stores, you see men huddled inside... carefully deciding between which piece of jewelry to get. Inevitably, about 50% of the men will just succumb to buying the trendy "love" necklace of the season. A few years ago it was the "past, present, future" diamonds. Then the "infinity circle" arrived. More recently was the half-heart pendant, which our family dubbed "the turd necklace." I've always said I have wanted a heart locket necklace, but something tells me that in reality I would find that gift monumentally cheesy and lackluster.

There's also always the amusement of the stone-faced men who have been dragged along on shopping ventures with their wives or girlfriends. These men look like they are being put through some modern-day form of punishment. Best are the men who sit in the "comfy" chairs while their spouses try on clothing.